Episode 309: License to Parent

	Dinosaurs
Air Date	November 20, 1992
Written by	Andy Goodman
Director	Bruce Bilson

Bettleheim — Officer Bettelheim on the job.

After Earl is repeatedly ticketed by an overzealous officer of the Parent Patrol for yelling at Baby Sinclair, setting a bad moral example of a cheap attempted bribery with stating his first ticket having Earl's name and a crisp dollar bill has "Bettelheim's" name written, and for taking Baby Sinclair's cupcake (which is something that Fran gave him to make the experience with the doctor visit more positive) and ate it right in front of him, he is sent to "Parents Ed."

During the exam, conducted by Officer Brazelton, Earl fails miserably and is ordered not to parent for thirty days until he retakes the test. The ticketing officer is assigned to live with the Sinclairs' to observe Earl, making Fran the only authority figure in the house. A frustrated Earl points out Fran's parental inadequacies such as letting Baby be up for a half an hour ("Small children are creatures of habit and needed a perfect naptime" stated by Earl, as Bettelheim states "An alteration of a sleeping schedule can upset a child"), never letting Robbie arrange his own schedule ("Teenagers learn to make choices by having choices"), and for yelling at Baby Sinclair for causing the folded clothes unfolded when he "wanted to help", causing her to lose her parental license too.

Their home returns to normal after the officer loses it while trying to care for Robbie, Charlene, and the Baby. Fran realizes that while good parenting comes from the heart, the parenting manual can be of help, too. This causes Earl to look at the viewers and say "Now, there's something you don't see on TV", ending the episode. An end credits Dragnet-style epilogue, narrated by Gary Owens, explains the consequences faced by perpetrators Bettleheim, Robbie, and Baby Sinclair.

Guest Stars[]

Michael McKean (Officer Bettelheim)

Notes[]

Officer Bettelheim's name is a reference to noted child psychologist Bruno Bettelheim.
Taped on September 4, 1992
This is one of only a few episodes to include original footage during the closing credits, as opposed to just showing a still image of a scene from the episode. "Swamp Music," "Changing Nature," "Earl and Pearl," and "Georgie Must Die" also use this format.
Upon receiving a ticket, Earl utters the word "smoo," a form of dinosaur profanity previously mentioned in "Baby Talk."