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What Kind of Fool Am I? (transcript)

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Jim Henson's name and Muppet brand gained national fame and success during the first season of Sesame Street in 1969. In the wake of the show's popularity, Henson began avoiding his usual experimental, commercial work, but continued to bring the Muppets to prime time on various talk and variety shows.

Among his last appearances on The Ed Sullivan Show was on May 31, 1970, a few weeks following the season finale of Sesame Street. This appearance not only features one of the earliest appearances of the defined character of Grover, but also sets up the Kermit and Grover dynamic that would continue for the next two decades.

This appearance was omitted from the 2003 release, Muppets Magic from the Ed Sullivan Show, but has since appeared in a series of compilation screenings produced by The Jim Henson Legacy.

Ed Sullivan Now, in a serious vein, Jim Henson's Muppets singing for the kids, all of you youngsters...are gonna sing Anthony Newly's "What Kind of Fool Am I?"
Kermit, dressed in tuxedo, appears beside a baby grand piano.
Kermit Thank you, thank you, Mr. Sullivan. Thank you very much. Ray, if you please.
Kermit begins to play, backed up by several horns.

What kind of fool am I?
What do I know of life?

Grover passes by in the background.

It seems that I'm the only one
that I have been thinking of...

Grover pops back into frame.
Grover HEY, FROGGY!!!
Kermit ...oh no.
Grover rushes up to Kermit and gives him a hard slap on the back. Kermit slinks down.
Kermit Ooo!
Grover How are you? What you doing, little froggy?
Kermit Uh, I am singing a song.
Grover Oh, you're singing-he's singing a song. Oh, okay, froggy. I sing too. Me and the frog, sing a song!
Kermit Uh, no, no, no.
Grover The frog and me sing a song together!
Kermit No, no, no.
Grover And a one, and a two, and a three...
Kermit No, no, no. See, I sing by myself. The frog sings alone.
Grover Oh, uh, froggy? Froggy?
Kermit Hm?
Grover Okay, you sing and I listen. Okay!
Grover assumes position and leans his ear toward Kermit, who shrugs.
Kermit Okay, Ray, from the top.
The music resumes. Kermit plays as Grover sways to the music.

What kind of fool am I
who never falls in love?

Grover (interrupting) Hey, that-that's a nice song.
Kermit looks behind to address Grover.
Kermit Uh, listen, uh, just ke-keep quiet, huh?
Grover Oh, oh, sorry.
Kermit Furry dumb dumb.
Grover double takes. Kermit resumes playing.

It seems I'm the only one...

Kermit flourishes on some keys. Grover gets a closer look.
Grover Ooo, you play good.
Kermit grimaces at him. Grover moves away to the far side of the piano. Kermit raises his hands to play.
Grover ...for a frog.
Kermit exhales, exasperated, and continues to play. Grover dances behind the piano.

What kind of man is this?
An empty shell
A lonely cell in which
an empty heart must dwell

Grover steps out in front of the piano and starts singing.

What kind of lips are these
That lied with every kiss?
That whispered empty words of love...

Grover stops and notices Kermit, shaking his head in disapproval.
Grover Ahem. Sorry.
Grover exits and Kermit resumes.

Why can't I fall in love
like any other man?
And maybe then I'd know
What kind of fool I...

Grover reappears, strumming a banjo wildly.
Kermit What are you playing that banjo?!
Grover I can't hear you, I'm playing the banjo!
Kermit STOP IT!
Grover stops. Kermit approaches him.
Kermit Now, why were you playing the banjo?
Grover You told me not to sing.
Grover is startled and falls down.
Kermit C'mon, Ray! Let's try to do the ending now, huh?
Grover rises up.

What kind of clown am I

Grover sniffles and starts walking to the background, crying.

What do I know of life

Grover (sobbing) I'm sorry, froggy.

Why can't I cast away...
...the...mask of play...

Grover (sobbing) OOOH! I'M SO SAD, FROGGY! I'M SORRY! (cries loudly)
Kermit Gee, maybe I shoulda let him sing.
Grover Huh? Hey, c'mon, guys! He said we could sing!
Kermit Oh, wait a second!
The music resumes, much more uptempo. Grover rushes toward the piano and strums his banjo. Four other monsters appear as well.

Why can't I fall in love
like any other man?
And maybe then I'd know
What kind of fool I AAMMM!

Monster Ooo, that's good!
Kermit grimaces, trying to cut between the monsters, who congratulate themselves.

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