Veterinarian's Hospital

The team prepares to operate.

Nurse Piggy prepares to go on.

Veterinarian's Hospital is a recurring Muppet Show sketch, loosely spoofing the atmosphere of medical soap operas.

Dr. Bob (played by Rowlf the Dog), Nurse Piggy (Miss Piggy), and Nurse Janice confer over a series of patients, telling an endless series of bad jokes and failing to effect any cure.

In the first season, the unseen Announcer was played by John Lovelady, who opened each sketch with, "And now, the continuing story of a former orthopedic surgeon who's gone to the dogs." Jerry Nelson, who occasionally substituted for Lovelady, would take over the role full time in subsequent seasons. Nelson's announcer opens the sketch with, "And now, the continuing stoooory of a quack who's gone to the dogs," and ends each sketch with "Tune in next week when you'll hear [Character Name] say..."

After the completion of The Muppet Show in 1981, the further antics of Dr. Bob's operating room were told in the panels of The Muppets comic strip by Guy and Brad Gilchrist. Examples from the earliest strips made their debut on October 21st and 28th, and December 8th; the last two of which feature Fozzie returning to the hospital bed once again. Later strips took the trio outside of their familiar setting and even split the characters up to inspire a variety of circumstances. Some of these can be found in the pages of six book collections of the series released by Tom Doherty Associates. More "Veterinarian's Hospital" sketches were included in the books It's The Muppet Show! and The Comic Muppet Book.

The Palisades Toys line of Muppet action figures were announced to have gone into production for a set of Veterinarian's Hospital Action Figures, but the toys never made it past the prototype phase. In 2003, Sababa Toys released a set of bean dolls featuring the Vet's Hospital cast and a patient, Camilla.

When the Muppet gang returned to television in 1989 with The Jim Henson Hour, Vet's Hospital was revived in a sense as "Merlin the Magician, MD," two medieval sketches (seen in episode 102 and 107) in which Rowlf appeared as the wizard Merlin (accompanied by a female assistant). Like Dr. Bob, Merlin would purportedly cure people's medical problems (this time using magic), making jokes and slinging puns all the while. In the Muppets' 1996 series [[Muppets Tonight], the Muppets, this time led by Dr. Fozzie, would again revisit the pun-filled medical sketch with the recurring segment "E-I-E-I-OR".

Sketches

The Muppet Show Season 1
Picture	Patient	Episode	Description
	Fozzie Bear	Episode 105: Rita Moreno	Janice is late because she was operating in another room. ("It's the talk of the hospital," says Dr. Bob.) Fozzie is the patient, and when Dr. Bob considers not operating, Janice tells him that he's the only one who can save him. Dr. Bob claims to have saved 500 last year (dollars, not patients), but he also lost over 100 pounds (not in weight, but in England).
File:Vets.109.jpg	Dead Patient	Episode 109: Charles Aznavour	The patient, a piece of blue fur, is dead.
	Hiccupping Patient	Episode 110: Harvey Korman	A patient has the hiccups, but Dr. Bob is more concerned with his own problems, such as being overworked and underpaid. The patient eventually explodes, and decides to quit while he's ahead.
	Duck	Episode 113: Bruce Forsyth	The patient is a duck, but Dr. Bob keeps confusing it with a chicken.
	Old Man	Episode 114: Sandy Duncan	Dr. Bob leaves his watch inside an old blue Whatnot.
	Behemoth	Episode 115: Candice Bergen	Behemoth is at the hospital for a tummy ache and a sore throat. Dr. Bob hits his tummy with a hammer, giving him a tummy ache, but the patient explains that he has a sore throat and wants it to go away. Turns out he has a frog in his throat, and it's Kermit.
	Chicken	Episode 116: Avery Schreiber	Dr. Bob operates on a chicken (the chicken puppet only has one eyelid).
	George the Janitor	Episode 117: Ben Vereen	George is the patient, but he doesn't feel any better at this hospital. Dr. Bob is told that he has given the hospital a bad name, and he agrees...Fred is a terrible name for a hospital. This sketch was re-recorded for The Muppet Show album.
	Bread	Episode 118: Phyllis Diller	The patient is a talking loaf of bread. What does Dr. Bob make of it? Toast!
The Muppet Show Season 2
Picture	Patient	Episode	Description
	Thing	Episode 201: Don Knotts	The Screaming Thing from "The Windmills of Your Mind" is the patient. He has three left feet, but also left two feet in Cincinnati.
	Fozzie Returns	Episode 204: Rich Little	Fozzie is back in the hospital.
	At the Dance	Episode 206: Nancy Walker	Fozzie accidentally schedules two sketches at once, Veterinarian's Hospital and At the Dance.
	Telephone	Episode 210: George Burns	Dr. Bob operates on a telephone and prescribes a local anaesthetic -- "Long distance costs too much!"
File:Vets211.jpg	Cow	Episode 211: Dom DeLuise	The audience demands to see Miss Piggy. The patient is a cow, and Dr. Bob and both nurses make several cow jokes. This sketch was released on It's The Muppets: More Muppets, Please!
	Shoe	Episode 212: Bernadette Peters	Dr. Bob operates on a shoe with a coated tongue, while exchanging 'shoe business' jokes.
	Shakespeare Jokes	Episode 213: Rudolf Nureyev	While operating on a piglet, Dr. Bob and company recite a string of Shakespearean puns.
	Baskerville the Hound	Episode 214: Elton John	Dr. Bob and company try to figure out what breed Baskerville is.
	Dr. Bob Does a Sketch Twice	Episode 215: Lou Rawls	Dr. Bob lost another one of his patients. By the end of the sketch, he asks who the Announcer is, and the Announcer answers, "I'm the guy who says, 'Welcome to Veterinarian's Hospital, the continuing stoooory of a quack who's gone to the dogs...'" and the sketch is repeated (with slightly adjusted jokes). This sketch was released on Muppet Treasures.
	Hungry Operating Table	Episode 220: Petula Clark	Dr. Bob's patient is sinking... into the operating table, that is.
	Vegetarian's Hospital	Episode 224: Cloris Leachman	Dr. Bob and Nurse Janice have been replaced by Doctor Pig and Nurse Pig. This sketch was a UK Spot.
The Muppet Show Season 3
Picture	Patient	Episode	Description
	Train Conductor	Episode 308: Loretta Lynn	The patient is a train conductor, who can only say "All aboard!"
	The Swedish Chef	Episode 309: Liberace	What starts as a Swedish Chef sketch finishes with Vet's Hospital, as the hospital staff discover the chef has a rare case of in-grown coffee pot.
	Spanish Dancer	Episode 312: James Coco	One of the Spanish Dancers who've been showing up throughout the show has acute appendicitis. Meanwhile, James Coco thinks the show needs razzle-dazzle and sends in some dancing girls.
	Recording Room Sound Guy	Episode 313: Helen Reddy	One of the sound men from the "Blue" number appears as the patient.
	Hawaiian Pig	Episode 320: Sylvester Stallone	One of the pigs from the "Hawaiian War Chant" number is the patient.
	Cluckitis	Episode 321: Roger Miller	Everyone in the theater catches "Cluckitis" and turns into chickens, including the Vet's Hospital cast and their patient.
The Muppet Show Season 4
Picture	Patient	Episode	Description
	Old Lady	Episode 404: Dyan Cannon	One of the old ladies from Geri and the Atrics is the patient.
	Robin the Frog	Episode 406: Linda Lavin	In honor of Kermit's birthday, Robin makes an appearance on the operating table. Piggy demands that he will call her Aunt Piggy.
	Kermit the Frog	Episode 410: Kenny Rogers	Kermit is the patient. Dr. Bob and Nurse Janice crack jokes about both Kermit's condition and Nurse Piggy's love for him. This sketch was released on It's The Muppets: Meet the Muppets.
	Best Sketch of the Year?	Episode 412: Phyllis George	Veterinarian's Hospital and Pigs in Space are nominated for Best Sketch in the Fred Awards, so Doctor Bob practices his acceptance speech.
	Pig Patient	Episode 413: Dizzy Gillespie	A pig keeps coming back into the operating room because he has fallen in love with Nurse Piggy.
	Dr. Bob	Episode 418: Christopher Reeve	Christopher Reeve replaces Dr. Bob while Bob is the patient.
	Bunnies	Episode 421: Doug Henning	As a result of Fozzie's magic trick gone wrong, bunnies keep coming out of the operating table.
	Rabbit	Episode 422: Andy Williams	This sketch was released on Muppet Treasures.
	On the Swinetrek	Episode 423: Carol Channing	On Pigs in Space, Piggy's feet hurt because her shoes are too small. Dr. Bob and Nurse Janice come to the rescue, but can't seem to break through the invisible shield.
The Muppet Show Season 5
Picture	Patient	Episode	Description
	Beauregard	Episode 501: Gene Kelly	Beauregard is worried sick because he thinks that the world is coming to an end. The sketch ends with "a sign" he was waiting for: the Announcer falling on him.
	Nurse Loretta	Episode 502: Loretta Swit	Loretta Swit replaces Nurse Piggy. This sketch was released on The Kermit and Piggy Story.
	Pinocchio	Episode 508: Señor Wences	Pinocchio is at the hospital because his nose grows every time he tells a lie.
	Conga	Episode 510: Jean-Pierre Rampal	Marvin Suggs lies on the operating table and starts a conga line to the beat of his heart and the operating instruments, along with Dr. Bob, Nurse Janice, Nurse Piggy and several patients. This sketch was not introduced as a Veterinarian's Hospital sketch.
	Gonzo	Episode 511: Paul Simon	Gonzo is only in the hospital for laughs. This sketch was a UK Spot.
	The Weather Man	Episode 516: Gladys Knight	The theater's roof has been removed. The patient is a singing weatherman, who predicts the weather in song.
	In the Dark	Episode 522: Buddy Rich	While all the lights are out, Dr. Bob tries to operate on one of the electricians who tried to fix the lighting problem in the theater and got a shock.
	Viking	Episode 524: Roger Moore	The patients is one of the pig vikings from the opening number "In the Navy".

Honorable mentions

• In episode 222, Nurse Janice can be seen pulling Animal away from his drumkit during the song "Wild Thing".
• The Pigs in Space sketch from episode 423 features a cameo appearance by Dr. Bob and Nurse Janice who appear to help alleviate First Mate Piggy's sore feet, thus merging two of the more well-known recurring Muppet Show sketches. (When the Announcer closes the sketch, Dr. Bob comments, "We have him at the hospital, too.")
• In episode 424, Dr. Bob and Nurse Janice carry Gonzo offstage after being molested by a hostile audience.

External links

• Miranda's Veterinarian's Hospital Page - with sketch transcripts

See also

At the Dance Bear on Patrol Blackouts Cold Open The Electric Mayhem An Editorial by Sam the Eagle Fozzie's Comedy Acts Gonzo's Stunts Muppet Labs

Muppet Melodrama Muppet News Flash Muppet Sports Musical Chickens Panel Discussions Pigs in Space Planet Koozebane A Poem by Rowlf Rowlf at the Piano

The Swedish Chef Talk Spots Talking Houses UK Spots Vendaface Veterinarian's Hospital Wayne and Wanda