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Do we want to do the full top ten lists everytime a Muppet is mentioned, or can we just do the theme, and the number of the muppet mention. There are some cute ones, but I feel the full lists (we have two non muppet lists on here already), are just a little too much. Although there are some fun links within the full lists. I'm parking the lists here until it's talked about a little more. I'm going to bold the lines with the Muppet content. -- Nate (talk) 19:30, May 3, 2010 (UTC)
Top Ten Most Dangerous Toys
November 18, 1998
- 10) The Hula Noose
- 9) Professor Saddam's Li'l Biological Warfare Kit
- 8) Light-Me-On-Fire Elmo
- 7) Chutes, Ladders and Open Manhole Covers
- 6) Mattel Ass Rocket
- 5) Rabid Snoopy
- 4) The "Too-Big-For-My-Windpipe" Jigsaw Puzzle
- 3) Mr. Potato Head Multiple Outlet Strip
- 2) Linda Tripp's "Let's Tape Daddy" Portable Recorder
- 1) E-Z Bake Open-Flame Oven
Top Ten Signs Your Neighbor Is in the Mafia
March 4, 1997
- 10) He seems to do really well for a guy who runs a candy store that's open one or two hours a day
- 9) His partner in the neighborhood 3-legged race: Vincent "The Chin" Gigante
- 8) For his son's birthday, buys him a U.S. senator
- 7) Your tomato plants keep getting singed by the cars exploding in his driveway
- 6) Tuesday: paper boy misses porch; Wednesday: paper boy gets "iced"
- 5) All his anecdotes end with, "So I blew his head off"
- 4) Two goons show up and make your wife reveal the family recipe for apple crisp
- 3) At their Halloween party, they bob for mob informants
- 2) After having an argument with his kid, your kid wakes up with the head of Tickle Me Elmo on his pillow
- 1) His lawn gnome is riddled with bulletholes
Top Ten Signs Your Kids Don't Like Their Christmas Presents
December 27, 1996
- 10) There's something half-hearted about the way they say, "Oh wow -- Q-Tips"
- 9) They spend Christmas morning making up games involving wrapping paper
- 8) They hire a Gambino family hit man to break Santa's kneecaps
- 7) You see them trying to shove everything back up the chimney
- 6) Spelled out in Legos on the front lawn are the words "You Cheap Bastard"
- 5) Moments after they unwrap gifts, you see them for sale on the Home Shopping Network
- 4) Your son simply refuses to understand why you couldn't get him two hours alone with Cindy Crawford
- 3) They cite your gifts as a major factor in their decision to convert to Islam
- 2) You wake up and find the head of Elmo in your bed
- 1) They ask, "Where'd you buy this stuff -- Crap `R' Us?"
Top Ten Least Popular Christmas Carols
December 23, 1996
- 10) Elmo roasting on an open fire
- 9) Come on it's lovely weather for a lap dance together with you
- 8) Every Christmas my uncle Louis throws up in the kitchen sink
- 7) I'm addicted to nasal decongestant
- 6) On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me, a restraining order
- 5) May we see Richard Simmons, bite Santa's arm again
- 4) A beautiful sight, we're happy tonight, probably `cause we're all so full of gin
- 3) Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way, oh what fun it is to tell your parents you are gay
- 2) Hillary, Hillary, you're lucky you're not in prison
- 1) Joy to the world, their season's done, the Jets can lose no more
Top Ten New York City Holiday Traditions
December 18, 1996
- 10) Instead of wearing turbans, cabbies gift wrap their heads
- 9) A guy comes down your chimney with a big sack and steals your stereo
- 8) Fake Rolex salesman starts offering fake frankinscense and myrrh
- 7) Shady guy ringing bells for something called the "Salvation Navy"
- 6) Times Square hookers offer free tickle to anyone named "Elmo"
- 5) Al Roker and Willard Scott's tinsel-eating contest
- 4) On every corner, a pants-less Santa inviting you to sit on his lap
- 3) The mayor shoplifts an apple from a deli, puts it on top of a Christmas tree
- 2) Drug dealers sell Yule logs made of crack
- 1) Everyone smiles and says "Happy Holidays" before giving you the finger
Top Ten Elf Pick-Up Lines
December 17, 1996
- 10) All day I make toys -- all night I make love
- 9) Has anyone ever told you you have beautiful knees?
- 8) We don't see many happenin' ladies north of the Arctic Circle
- 7) That's quite a set of ornaments you've got there
- 6) Just because a guy wears tights doesn't mean he's gay
- 5) One night with me, baby, and you'll be sneezin' tinsel
- 4) Why, yes -- I am George Stephanopoulos!
- 3) I can't tell you how hard it is to be the only Jewish elf
- 2) Not everything about me is tiny
- 1) That's not Elmo, but don't stop tickling
Top Ten Signs Your Mailman Has Been Working Much Too Hard
December 16, 1996
- 10) Announces that he just married a sheet of Marliyn Monroe stamps
- 9) It's been over three weeks since he cleaned his gun
- 8) Delivers the mail wearing nothing but bubble wrap
- 7) Announces his new system: reach into his bag, and whatever you can grab is yours
- 6) He's stopped having sex with half the housewives in the neighborhood
- 5) Just sits on the curb, tearing pages out of a "Victoria's Secret" catalog and eating them
- 4) He's been leaving most of the driving to his pet monkey, Earl
- 3) His wife complains that in the bedroom, he's not exactly "Mr. Zip"
- 2) Claims he's Elmo; demands that you tickle him
- 1) Walks down the street shouting, "Lick this!"
Top Ten Surprises In The New James Bond Movie
December 18, 1997
- 10) Goodbye, Martinis -- Hello, Colt.
- 9) Bond's mission: To find the last "Sing 'n Snore Ernie."
- 8) He loses all his money when pickpocket guesses that his ATM code is"0"
- 7) He now introduces himself as "Bond. Jimmy Bond."
- 6) When he says, "Shaken, not stirred," bartender says, "Whatever yousay, you fruity English bastard."
- 5) Cameo by Roger Moore wearing his actual uniform from Foot Locker.
- 4) For some reason, everyone refers to him as "Puff Bondy."
- 3) He does the whole movie in a lame, phony British accent.
- 2) During love scenes, 007 looks more like 003 and a half.
- 1) His only gadget: A really bitchin' waffle iron.
Top Ten Lessons I Learned In College
May 18, 2001
- 10) Success is 1% inspiration and 99% cramming the night before
- 9) Roommates could be pretty harsh if you're still sleeping with your Big Bird doll
- 8) The Spanish Armada was defeated by Queen Elizabeth, not Queen Latifah
- 7) The best way to learn biology is in the backseat of a Taurus
- 6) On Microsoft Word, if you drag down the format window and click on paragraph, adjusting the line spacing can make your papers look a lot longer
- 5) Do your laundry every six months, whether you need it or not
- 4) Who cares if you don't get invited to the keg party? Saturday nights you can stay home and enjoy the fine line-up of CBS shows
- 3) Um...sorry, I'm drawing a blank
- 2) If you major in some lightweight field, goof off and get bad grades, you could become rich like Letterman
- 1) My parents wasted about 60 grand
- Definitely keep the Muppet dominated lists on top, but for the rest, if it's one mention out of ten (or even two), I'd say just list those (and their ranking), and if desired include an external link to the whole list if there is one. Plus it will make certain trends more apparent (i.e. all the Elmo tickle jokes). Otherwise yeah, it will look cluttered. -- Andrew Leal (talk) 20:29, May 3, 2010 (UTC)
- Hmmm. I definitely prefer the edited down version, but yeah, it could look better. I'm not really sure what to do, though. A table occurred to me, given how basic the info is for these one-shots (list title, date, and the mention and its number), without it looking off with the rest of the page (since I don't think that would help the top ten Muppet-themed lists, just for the other stuff, akin to the simple episode guides used for throwaway visual mentions on things like Family Guy). -- Andrew Leal (talk) 22:17, May 3, 2010 (UTC)