Episode 0807

MARIA: Do you know what? I finally found something that Oscar can help me with…the word "no".

(Knocks on Oscar's can)

OSCAR: I'm away visiting China or someplace

MARIA: Oscar, would you please say your favorite word?

OSCAR: Uh, my favorite word, Maria? Why certainly I will say it for you. My favorite word is yes.

MARIA: Oscar, since when is your favorite word yes?

OSCAR: It has always been yes. Unless, of course, it is flowers or happiness. No, I would say my favorite word is yes.

MARIA: No it isn't, Oscar. It's no. Now look, if I were to offer you a hot fudge sundae with marshmallow cream on top and cherries and almonds, what would you say?

OSCAR: Well, I would say. . . how nice, Maria. Thank you, my favorite dessert!

MARIA: No you wouldn't! You would say no. N-O, No. Now I know you a lot better than that. If I was to offer you a big ?? ?? kiss, what would you say?

OSCAR: I would say. . .???

MARIA: No Oscar. . . you'd say no! That's what you always say!

OSCAR: I'd say YES!

MARIA: You'd say NO!

OSCAR: I'd say YES!

MARIA: Oscar, are you just saying yes to drive me crazy?

OSCAR: Why yes.

Dollar bill in mailbox

??? ??? and he put it in the mailbox so the big monster wouldn't take it?

MAILMAN: No, no. That's ridiculous! But why would someone put a dollar in the mailbox?

DAVID: Excuse me. . . Big Bird, old pal, tell me something. Why did you bring this letter into the store and give it to me? This is for Maria's mother in Puerto Rico.

MAILMAN: Something funny going on here.

BIG BIRD: Uh. . . I brought that to you?

DAVID: You handed it to me in the store.

MAILMAN: That's weird, 'cause I got a dollar in the mailbox and he gets a letter in the store.

BIG BIRD: I seem to remember… wait a minute, it was Maria…asked me to do her a favor…

MARIA: I'll take care of this.

SHE TAKES DOLLAR BILL FROM MAILMAN AND GIVES IT TO DAVID, AND THE LETTER TO THE MAILMAN.

MARIA: Thank you. Thank you, Big Bird.

BIG BIRD: You're welcome, Maria.


Mud song (Episode 0879?)

BOB: What's with all the buckets and boxes and stuff here?

OSCAR: Take a look.

BOB: Dirt?

OSCAR: A brilliant deduction. This can is full of water, see? Well, I mix the water together with that dirt and I stir it around with my spoon and know what I got? My favorite, most super special thing in the world, and you know what that is?

BOB: Yes, of course, if you mix…

OSCAR: You can't guess, huh? I guess I'll have to give you a few hints.

What's slippery and slimy and covered with ooze? And sits in the puddle that mess up your shoes? And what's in those pies that no one ever chews? It's mud! What's icky and squishy and really a sight When spread on a carpet of beautiful white? And how do I shower on Saturday night? You're right! With mud! In some places so I hear They even take mud and sticks And bake 'em inside an oven to make bricks That's right, bricks! My great mud (??) (??) (??) the floor With buckets and boxes and barrels (??) And if it (??) (??) (??) ??? ??? Mud…mud… ?? ?? ?? Ah…it's mud!!!

BOB: Bravo, Oscar. You're in good voice today.

OSCAR: Well, I gotta get to work here. There's lots of mud to be made.

BOB: Yeah. Say, would you mind if I tried a little here? It's been kind of a long time since I've made mud.

OSCAR: Well, all right I suppose. I could give you the master's touch

Oscar helps Bob make some squishy mud.

Dial a Bird

BIG BIRD: ??? your phone

LUIS: Yes, but I didn't mean…

(Phone rings)

BIG BIRD: Our first call! Hello, Dial-A-Bird. Yep. (sings, whistles) Thank you for calling (Phone rings again and above is repeated)

LUIS: Big Bird, I don't think it's such a good idea to use my phone. I'll tell you why.

(Phone rings and Big Bird does his ??? again)

LUIS: I have a business here … it's a business phone and if people call in and get Dial-A-Bird they're going to hunk it's the wrong number and hang up. That way I'll lose customers. Understand what I'm saying? I don't want to lose any customers so I don't think it's such a good idea for you to use my phone.

BIG BIRD: I understand. I didn't think about that. I'm sorry. I always mess everything up anyway… (leaves)

LUIS: I'm really sorry, Big Bird. He's so unhappy now…

(Phone rings)

LUIS: Yes, Fix-It-Shop. Yes, that's the right number. Dial-A-Bird? I will not sing and whistle… ???

Oh, brother! (hangs up) I'm telling you, this is ridiculous! Big Bird! Come here, Big Bird...

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