What follows is a transcript of a 1964 sketch from The Jimmy Dean Show. This sketch is an example of the weekly chemistry between Rowlf and Jimmy Dean that paved the way for the further development of Rowlf's character. The skit also showcases some of Jerry Juhl's early skit writing for the Muppets - full of gags, jokes and puns.
Jim Henson was known for stealing the scene, and Jimmy Dean was forced to come along for the ride. In this example, Henson successfully gets Dean to break his composure towards the end of the skit, when Rowlf reacts to Jimmy's impromptu hit on the head. Jimmy suggests that this wasn't uncommon for Rowlf, asking, "You gonna start this again this week, aren't you?"
Jimmy | We have some more serious business coming up, because anything that my old buddy Rowlf is concerned with is always serious business. Rowlf, where are you? |
Rowlf pokes his head up from behind a fence. He looks around and starts giving the air karate chops. | |
Rowlf | Anybody wanna try a little karate? You're looking at the greatest karate fighter alive. |
Rowlf continues to give more karate chops. | |
Rowlf | Take that! And here's one in your shin bone... one on your left nostril... and here's the killer... right across the belly button. |
Jimmy enters, and taps Rowlf on the shoulder. | |
Jimmy | Hey there. |
Rowlf alertly takes a defensive pose. | |
Rowlf | Whoa! Watch it, Jimbo, you almost got yourself killed. |
Jimmy | What are you doing? |
Rowlf | I'm practicing some karate, Jimmy. You see, there's this big bulldog in my neighborhood who's always picking on me, see? So I'm learning self-defense. |
Jimmy | Really? |
Rowlf | Yeah. Hey look, look -- you hold this, see? |
Rowlf hands Jimmy a board. | |
Rowlf | Hold this -- and using karate, I will break that into two pieces with my bare hand. |
Jimmy | Rowlf, this is a two-inch board, buddy. |
Rowlf | That is nothing for a karate fighter. Watch this. |
Rowlf lines up his chop. | |
Rowlf | A-one... A-two... A-three! |
Rowlf hits the board -- and pulls his hand back, groaning in pain. | |
Jimmy | Rowlf, you didn't break the board. |
Rowlf | So what? How often do you fight a piece of wood? |
Jimmy drops the board to the ground. | |
Rowlf | Litterbug. |
Jimmy | Look, this much I know about karate: If you use one of those chops, you gotta have the karate grunt. |
Rowlf | The karate grunt? |
Jimmy | Yeah, you know. You know, "aaghh!" "uughh!" "eehh!" |
Jimmy does karate chops in the air as he grunts. | |
Rowlf | Don't look now, folks, Jimmy has a new hit record called "Big Bad 'huhh!'". If you don't like it, you can give a "huhh!" right across the living room. |
Jimmy | Rowlf, would you quit fooling around, and tell me about the dog. |
Rowlf | It's a bulldog, Jimmy, named Bobby. Always pushing me around and picking fights. Why, twice a day I get a sock in the eye. |
Jimmy | You get a sock in the eye twice a day from Bobby? |
Rowlf | Mmm. Yeah. |
Jimmy | Well you ought to get a new pair of shoes to go with that pair of Bobby socks. You get it... socks from Bobby. Uh um... forget it. |
Rowlf | Friends, do your share. Help stamp out tall skinny singers. |
Jimmy | This I want you to know, I'm sorry about that last one. This I want you to know, I don't approve of violence, Rowlf. |
Rowlf | You don't. |
Jimmy | I have a suggestion for you. The next time that Bobby picks a fight, don't fight. Just turn the other cheek. |
Rowlf | I tried that. |
Jimmy | Yes, and you went home with a happy heart, right? |
Rowlf | No, I went home with a lumpy cheek. |
Jimmy | Rowlf, in the first place, forget it. Don't tackle with that bulldog. You'll never make it, you're too flabby. |
Rowlf | Where? That's not flab back there. I've got a tiger in my tank. Look, look, just to prove how strong I am, I'll challenge you to Indian wrestling. Come on, one for the championship! |
Jimmy | You're gonna Indian wrestle me? |
Rowlf | Sure. Yeah. |
Jimmy and Rowlf grasp hands for an arm wrestling match. | |
Jimmy | Ready? |
Rowlf | Ready! |
Jimmy quickly and effortlessly beats Rowlf. | |
Rowlf | Two out of three! Two out of three! For the championship! |
Jimmy | Oh, come on, Rowlf, look... |
Rowlf | Come on! |
Jimmy | All right. Ready? |
Rowlf | Ready! |
Jimmy quickly and effortlessly beats Rowlf again. | |
Rowlf | Three out of five! Come on, three out of five, Jimmy! |
Rowlf, still gripping Jimmy's hand, continues trying to bend it over while Jimmy addresses the audience. Rowlf grunts and puts his whole body into it. | |
Jimmy | Look, I've already shown him half a dozen times that he'll never be able to do it. He done tried to put it down three or four times, and he's flabby and he's weak. And that's all there is. |
At this point Rowlf is using both hands to try to beat Jimmy, who hasn't even noticed his efforts. | |
Jimmy | Ready? |
Rowlf | Hmmmm!? Yeah, yeah, I'm ready! I'm ready! Okay! |
Jimmy quickly and effortlessly beats Rowlf yet again. | |
Rowlf | Six hundred out of a thousand? |
Jimmy | Look, Rowlf, why don't you just give up? That's no way to settle things. Believe me. Violence is not the solution. Hey, got an idea. |
Rowlf | What's that? |
Jimmy | Got an idea, the next time that Bobby picks on you, tell you what to do -- just laugh. Open up your mouth and laugh. |
Rowlf | I tried that. |
Jimmy | And you went home with a fearless heart, right? |
Rowlf | I went home with a toothless mouth... and a lumpy cheek. Wait, I know, I know! I'll take care of Bobby with judo. |
Jimmy | You know Japanese judo? |
Rowlf | Ahh so... you are talking to honorable master of muscular coordination and rapid reflex. Hey, listen, listen. I got this. I will turn my back on you, and you sneak up on me and try to hit me. I'll show you. |
Rowlf turns his back to Jimmy and waits. | |
Rowlf | Go ahead, sneak up on me. Try to hit me. |
Jimmy | I'm, I'm liable to hurt you, Rowlf. |
Rowlf | Hurt me? Ocka hiawaka fanaba -- or, as you Americans say... Fat chance. |
Rowlf turns his back to Jimmy again. | |
Rowlf | Go ahead, try to hit me. |
Jimmy hits Rowlf on the top of his head and Rowlf falls down. | |
Rowlf | Ooo, hi-ya hi-ya coo-coo oui oui hi-ya coma oo-ya. |
Jimmy | What does that mean? |
Rowlf | There were six of them, officer, and they dropped a truck on my head. |
Jimmy | That proves it. You don't know karate. You don't know judo. You don't know... just give up! |
Rowlf | Oh, don't worry, Jimbo. Don't worry. When everything else fails, I still got my secret weapon. |
Jimmy | Your secret weapon? |
Rowlf | Yeah... grrrrr... |
Rowlf aggressively bites Jimmy's arm. | |
Jimmy | All right, that's good! |
Rowlf | Yeah! See, that bulldog won't bother me anymore. |
Jimmy | No, sir. Now, that's the way to take care of him. |
Rowlf | Him? This isn't a him dog, this is a her dog. |
Jimmy | "Bobby" is a girl dog? |
Rowlf | Sure -- Bobbie, short for Barbara. But she won't pick on me when I take care of her like this... |
Rowlf aggressively bites Jimmy in the arm again. | |
Jimmy | No! Rowlf, you can't do that. |
Rowlf | I can't? |
Jimmy | You don't go around bitin' girls. |
Rowlf | This cowboy's been hanging around horses too long. |
Jimmy | (laughs) What I mean is this... |
Rowlf | What? |
Jimmy | That -- (chuckles) -- if you're having trouble with girls, you don't act tough, Rowlf. |
Rowlf | No? |
Jimmy | No, you act sweet and nice. You romance her. |
Rowlf | You are right. You're right, Jimbo. I will act gentle and suave. |
Jimmy | Good, good. |
Rowlf | I will hold her hand. |
Jimmy | Marvelous. |
Rowlf | And I will whisper sweet nothings... and then I'll bite her! |
Rowlf aggressively bites Jimmy in the arm for a third time. | |
Jimmy | Let... go... of... that! |
Jimmy beats Rowlf on the head to get him off. | |
Rowlf | Hm, I've been struck. |
Rowlf rubs his head in pain. Jimmy laughs. | |
Jimmy | That was a dirty ad-lib, wasn't it? Now wait, wait. Will you listen to me? |
Rowlf is still holding his head in pain. | |
Rowlf | Oh... Hmm? |
Jimmy continues to laugh. He reaches over and rips Rowlf's hand off his head. | |
Rowlf | Sorry. |
Jimmy | All right, now will you listen to me just a minute? |
Rowlf | What, what is it? |
Jimmy | You gonna start again this week, aren't you, huh? Listen to me. The next time, the next time that Bobbie comes around, then you got to kind of snuggle up to her, you see? Get a little bit cozy, and then you say... |
Music cues up and Jimmy and Rowlf start into a duet of "She'll Never See Any Dog Like Me". | |