Kermit's Lectures

Through the years of Sesame Street, Kermit has done many lectures about various objects and concepts. Most of his lectures had him sitting on top of a brick wall or standing behind one. Often, his lectures went awry, due to the bad assistance of other characters in the skits.

Picture	Summary / EKA	Description
	Kermit's W Lecture (2-Part Skit) Episode 0001	Part 1: Kermit talks about the letter W, but Cookie Monster keeps eating pieces off it, changing it to a N, a V, an I, and nothing at all. Part 2: The W starts to walk as Kermit talks about it. The W starts a war, which it wins.
	More and Less Episode 0004	Cookie Monster drinks both of Kermit's glasses of milk, which he was going to use to explain "more" and "less". When Kermit insults Cookie Monster, several of Cookie Monster's monster pals gang up on Kermit, prompting him to point out that now there are more monsters and less frogs. Some of the monsters besides Cookie were Beautiful Day Monster, Snerk, and an unnamed Splurge-like monster.
	Kermit's letter B lecture Episode 0006	Kermit tries to present a lecture about the letter B, but Cookie Monster eats the bottom of the B and turns it into an R. Kermit talks about the R, but then Cookie Monster snacks some more, and makes it a P. Kermit tries to go on, but the monster keeps eating, making it into an F, and then an I, and then nothing at all. Kermit chides Cookie Monster for ruining his lesson. Cookie Monster gives Kermit a kiss, then exits. Notes The segment was filmed on October 3, 1969 and directed by Neil Smith. Most online releases of this sketch cut off the ending. An unedited cut can be seen here. (YouTube)
	Tall and Short / Big and Little Episode 0015	Part 1: Two Snerfs help Kermit teach the difference between tall and short, until they keep changing sizes. Part 2: Kermit then changes the lecture to one about little and big with different-sized monsters: Frank and Harold... but he also meets Splurge.
	Kermit's Rectangle Lecture Episode 0017	Kermit talks about rectangles. Cookie Monster destroys Kermit's rectangle, explaining: "It's a wreck, and it's a tangle!"
	Same and Different Episode 0018	Kermit talks about "same" by showing two identical rectangles. Cookie Monster eats one of them, making them different.
	Some, More, and Most Episode 0022	Kermit teaches some, more and most with jellybeans and marbles in jars. Cookie Monster eats the most marbles in the jar and hurt his mouth.
	Kermit on Hair Episode 0028	Kermit talks about hair. According to Kermit, "Hair is a part of you. It is not a part of me, because I am a frog." He points out that some people have hair on their heads, while others have it on their faces. But if you have hair all over your body (like Beautiful Day Monster, who emerges brushing himself and singing "A pretty girl is like a melody ...") then you're a monster!
	Walls Episode 0031	Kermit talks about walls and gets trapped by four walls that surround him.
	F Episode 0033	Kermit plans to talk about the letter F, but Beautiful Day Monster delivers an E instead, so he fixes it by using an ax and chopping off the bottom line of the E to make it look like an F.
	Soft and Loud Episode 0039	Kermit uses a radio to demonstrate "soft". Grover shows up and wants to talk about loud, turning the radio up. After the two demonstrate soft and loud a few times, Big V appears and eats the radio.
	K lecture Episode 0044	Kermit and Cookie Monster talk about K in a 3-part sketch.
	Kermit's Bear Exercises Episode 0044	Kermit watches some live bears do exercises. (This was done on a chroma-key background).
	In the Box Episode 0056	Kermit talks about the word "in," and a monster (an early Grover) wants to help him teach. Kermit has a big box that he wants Grover to get inside, but Grover can't seem to grasp the concept of IN ... he gets beside the box, on the box, and under the box. Finally, he reveals why he can't get in the box because Fred is already inside it.
	Different Feelings Episode 0066	Kermit and Cookie Monster demonstrate what it is to be happy, angry and sad. Kermit gets angry when Cookie Monster eats the happy face that Kermit provided, Cookie Monster feels sad when Kermit threatens to tell Cookie's mommy what he did, and that makes Kermit happy because he was able to do his demonstration without the tasty styrofoam faces.
	Kermit's B Sound Lecture Episode 0068	Kermit talks about making the B sound, with much detail. When Beautiful Day Monster walks by, Kermit goes over the lesson again. The monster does the noise perfectly, but his "BAH!" scares Kermit away, and fogs up the screen.
	Kermit's Between Lecture Episode 0070	Kermit demonstrates between by using a ping-pong ball, a donut, and a Beatles record sitting on a table, with the donut between the record and the ball. Beautiful Day Monster comes along and proceeds to eat everything. Kermit fears he will also get eaten, but the monster thanks him with a kiss.
	Nine Blocks Episode 0080	Kermit and Grover count nine blocks.
	Sorting Shapes Episode 0094	Kermit plays a sorting game with squares and circles, until Cookie Monster arrives and takes a bite out of the shapes. Kermit is upset, until he tastes one of them, and he joins Cookie Monster in finishing off the rest!
	Round Objects Episode 0107	Kermit tries to demonstrate what round is, with the help of a wisecracking ball. He introduces Kermit to his "daddy," a basketball.
	Horns Episode 0112	Kermit talks about horns as a film of animals with horns plays behind him.
	Clues Episode 0118	Kermit talks about clues. He shows that a boy has grown some carrots because he has a hoe, a watering can, and a bunch of carrots. Next, he confirms that a man has built a birdhouse because of his wood, paint, and carpenter's tools. When he notices Beautiful Day Monster with a suitcase and an umbrella, Kermit assumes that the monster is going on a trip. The monster corrects him; he's planning to eat his umbrella, and uses the suitcase to carry the ketchup he'll use to eat it with.
	Broken "R" Episode 0129	Kermit is about to talk about the letter R, until Cookie Monster karate chops one of the legs off, turning it into a P. When Kermit threatens to tell the monster's mommy, Cookie reassembles the broken letter back to the letter "R".
	Long and Short Ladders Episode 0276	Kermit asks Grover to use ladders to demonstrate the difference between short and long. Kermit's amazed that Grover can carry the long ladder by himself, but then sees that Grover is on both ends.
	Kermit and the Bullfrog Episode 0277	Bob holds an American bullfrog and asks Kermit to talk about frogs. However, due to living a somewhat different life than normal frogs, what Kermit says about frogs is somewhat incorrect; for example, Kermit believes that frogs eat fried chicken and pizza, and live in apartment houses.
	Counting Six Twiddlebugs Episode 0280	Kermit counts six happy little Twiddlebugs, and when he is finished, the Twiddlebugs have a party.
	Here and There Episode 0292	Kermit and Grover demonstrate "here" and "there".
	No Episode 0297	Kermit teaches Grover to read his sign with "NO" written on it.
	Counting 4 Eggs Episode 0300	Kermit counts four eggs. A chick hatches out of one egg, so he counts the three eggs -- then two, then one. Then he counts the four chicks.
	Some, More and Most Episode 0306	Kermit and Cookie Monster demonstrate the idea of "some, more and most" using three piles of cookies, each one bigger than the one before. Cookie Monster gets his choice of the piles, but he doesn't want "some", "more", or even "most". He wants them all!
	Between Episode 0268	Kermit attempts to demonstrate between with two poles, which are actually mops held by Grover and Herry.
	WALK and DON'T WALK Episode 0319	Kermit teaches how to read crosswalk signals in order to cross the street. If the sign says "WALK" it's okay to walk across the street. If it says "DON'T WALK" then it's not okay to cross the street.
	Yes Episode 0322	Kermit teaches Grover the word YES.
	Through Episode 0334	Cookie Monster helps Kermit to demonstrate through.
	The Hand Episode 0342	Kermit talks about hands, with some assistance from a human Hand. The Hand assists Kermit at first, helping Kermit count its fingers with the viewers. Kermit then starts listing things the Hand can do. The Hand shows it can wave and point. When Kermit says the word hold, the Hand chokes him, but then backs off. The Hand the demonstrates pat, poke and scratch, but then tickles and fights Kermit. Kermit bites the Hand to get it to stop. The Hand makes up by shaking hands, but then abruptly pulls Kermit off screen, ending the lecture.
	5 Blocks Episode 0476	Grover helps Kermit show the number 5 using blocks, but Grover doesn't know how many to get (he can't count to 5). Kermit has him go back and forth bringing one until there is five.
File:Shortlong.jpg	Long and Short Episode 0560	Grover does things for a long time while Kermit does things for a short time. Grover gets worn out and asks to switch places, and then they demonstrate by tickling each other. An edited version of this segment, focusing on just the tickling portion, appears in the "Ticklish" episode of The Sesame Street Podcast.
	Horse and cart Episode 0666	Kermit, Farmer Grover and Fred the Wonder Horse show how a horse-and-cart works.
	Weather Calendar Episode 0689	Kermit trains Cookie Monster as a weather person. Kermit had a map of the United States and weather symbols and explained what each symbol meant to Cookie Monster. Kermit tells Cookie Monster to place them on the right spot on the weather map. After completing the weather map, Cookie decides to produce sounds of the weather. He pours the contents of a watering can for rain, for wind, blew a few blows of air for wind. Kermit asks what sound sunshine makes, Cookie Monster devours the sun symbol.
	Up and Down Episode 0693	Kermit has Grover help him demonstrate up and down by having Grover climb UP a sky-high flight of stairs -- while Kermit takes the elevator to the top. Exhausted, Grover faints and rolls DOWN the staircase.
	Telephone Episode 0733	Kermit comes across the word "Telephone", spells it, and then teaches the word to the viewer. When an Anything Muppet boy who stands too far away says that he can't hear Kermit, Kermit dials the T, and the boy answers with the last E.
	Feet Episode 0895	Kermit talks about feet, assisted by a man's Feet. Kermit points out one Foot's wiggling toes, and has the Feet walk, jump, hop, kick, and dance. One Foot ends the dance standing on Kermit's hand. When Kermit says they can go now, The Feet stay. Kermit states that "one other thing that Feet are is ticklish." and begins tickling them. The Feet squirm and pull away, as the man laughs hysterically. The Feet run off, and a crash is heard. Kermit says that Feet sometimes also "trip over things."
	Heavy and Light Episode 0900	Kermit and Grover demonstrate the difference between heavy and light. Grover carries heavy objects, and Kermit carries light objects. Grover gets tired, and asks Kermit if he can carry something light for a change. Kermit obliges. He carries a giant sandwich... while Grover picks up a helium balloon, which carries him away!
	The alphabet Episode 0974	Kermit tells Bob that the alphabet is the secret of life.
	Top and Bottom Episode 1050	Kermit talks about "top" and "bottom" using a stack of boxes Grover carries.
	Kermit counts monkeys Episode 1287	Kermit counts five monkeys, and when he is done, he gets monkey business.
	Kermit Demonstrates the Number 5 Episode 1299	Kermit tests two blindfolded monsters and aks them which number they're feeling. Herry Monster minus his blindfold describes how he knew the number was a five and in the process breaks the five into pieces. Cookie Monster attempts to feel the number and Kermit tells him that he can't since its broken. Cookie Monster devours the pieces and tells Kermit it tastes like a five.
	Kermit and Two-Headed Monster on Listening Episode 1933	Kermit explains the importance of listening, using the Two-Headed Monster as an example.
	Kermit's Subtraction Lecture Episode 2058	Kermit tries to talk about subtraction with the numbers 1, 2, 3, 4 and 5, but they keep disappearing one by one, which makes it hard for him ... or does it?
	Taxi Episode 2293	Kermit talks about the word "Taxi" After describing how a taxi works, a small muppet calls "taxi!" and the word drives up to him, and he enters through the XI, which open like a door, then the word TAXI takes off down the line. Kermit remarks that that's "about all I have to say about the word Taxi."
	Beginning, Middle and End with a Cookbook Episode 2362	Kermit describes the words beginning, middle and end using a book, with assistance from Cookie Monster. Kermit tells Cookie as he reaches each part, beginning/middle/end, when he turns the pages. Then Cookie asks what kind of book it is (a cookbook), and what is in each part. Kermit responds with "soups", entrees, and then "desserts," Cookie says "like... cookies?", then eats the book. Kermit sighs, "Well, I guess that's the end of the book."
	Kermit and Gladys Switch Places Episode 2362	Kermit talks about his favorite subject frogs. Gladys the Cow assists by being a cow frog wearing goggles, air tank, and froggy foot paddles. Gladys asks Kermit how it would feel to be a cow and he replies feeling glad to be a frog. Gladys puts a cow's horns, ears, and a bell on Kermit.
	Necks Episode 2367	Kermit demonstrates to the viewer how your neck moves to different positions without moving your body, and how you'd have to move your body at different positions without your neck. In the process, he falls off his mushroom. "All in all, it's a good thing we have our necks," he says.
	Telephone Episode 2423	Kermit attempts to demonstrate how to use a telephone with the help of Forgetful Jones.
	Happy and Sad Episode 2481	Kermit tries to explain the difference between happy and sad, two emotions which Elmo displays while trying to get Kermit to play with him.
	Kermit's Z Lecture Episode 2603	Kermit talks about the letter Z, but it turns up and becomes an N.
	Health Minute Episode 2682	Kermit and Grover talk about teeth. Grover notices that Kermit does not have any teeth at all, so he puts a pair of teeth in Kermit's mouth.
	In and Out Episode 2727	Kermit describes the times it is appropriate to use the In and Out doors. To his dismay, a group of monsters keeps going out the In door.
	Kermit and Cookie Monster Describe a Telephone Episode 3040	Kermit describes a black rotary dial telephone that is skinny in the middle, has a round base, and a big circle with a lot of little circles, and has cords at the back. Meanwhile Cookie Monster describes the same telephone and adds that it is delicious.
	Quiet and Loud Episode 3483	Elmo loudly interrupts Kermit's demonstration of "quiet" and "loud". Elmo loudly insists on helping Kermit demonstrate the difference, and Kermit manages to get Elmo to whisper as they talk about being quiet.
	Difference Episode 3714	Kermit tries to explain the difference between two balls, but they keep changing to make themselves the same. The balls are large and yellow with colorful stripes and the ability to talk!
	Light and Dark Episode 3784	Kermit (Steve Whitmire) intends to talk about light and dark, so he turns his living room lamp off. Grover enters, leaving the door open so that the room doesn't stay dark. He tries to help by eliminating all light in the room so neither of them can see.
	Same and Different	Kermit and Telly are going to show same and different, but Telly worries they have nothing in common.
	Surprised	Kermit talks about surprised if a monster scares you and if someone throws you a custard pie on your face. Then a little girl shows up and surprises Kermit by giving him flowers.

See also

Ernie and Bert sketches

Cookie Monster sketches

Kermit the Frog sketches

Grover sketches

Herry Monster sketches

Count von Count sketches

Elmo sketches

Big Bird sketches