The following is a transcript for Inner Tube, a 10 minute pilot for The Jim Henson Hour, written in 1987 by David Misch. Directed by Jim Henson, the show includes original music and lyrics by Phil Ramone, Bob Halligan and Phil Galdston.


ITa ITb
Open on closeup of Crasher looking into the camera, or perhaps out at the viewer. Rock music begins to play. Camera pulls out to show a block of 4 television monitors, which show different shots of the same band playing the opening number -- a short rock song about everyone being able to broadcast themselves.
Sample of the Opening Number Lyrics

See, see what you can do on the TV
Well, it's me me watchin' you you lookin' at me
Everybody watchin' everywhere
Everybody, you're on the air!

Music and singing continues as the camera pans right, revealing a continuous line of TV screens. Then there is a closeup of one screen showing the whole band singing in group closeup. The camera then goes to a shot of the four screens again, and pans left where it finally comes to rest at the block of nine screens which are the main set for the show.
ITc ITd
Glitch hops out of the upper left screen and, bobbing to the music, touches each screen to change each channel to a dancing image of himself. He dances with his images a moment, then the picture spins on it's vertical axis to show the "Inner Tube" title card on the "other side."
ITe
The graphic transitions into an interior scene of a room lined floor to ceiling with TV screens. Henry is bopping along with the music as he approaches the viewer, and stops at the block of nine screens and raises the volume of one monitor, featuring a familiar frog.
ITf
Kermit the Frog ...easily the most sophisticated television system in the world, with fifteen hundred channels to choose from, you can always find a program to match your mood, your IQ, your income bracket and your clothes. We have the Aerobics Channel...
clip of Miss Piggy reclining gracefully in front of several women doing aerobics
Miss Piggy Let's face it, exercise can be very boring. But, if you do your daily dozen with someone you love, the time seems to just fly by...
Kermit: ...the Millionaire's Home Shopping Network,...
ITg
clip of a man in front of a map with Denmark indicated
Salesman Denmark! One of the finest countries in the world! Textiles! Dairy Products! ...kinda shaped like a turtle! And this week, only yours for just two billion one hundred million....
Kermit ... and my personal favorite, the All-Kitchen-Utensil Network, which I believe is currently showing Gone with the Wind.
ITh
clip of sepia-toned kitchen scene, with a knife talking to an old-fashioned eggbeater
Knife Frankly my dear, I don't give a spoon.
Kermit: Yes, Inner Tube is the ultimate television system of the future, here today to be part of your past. It gives you, the Inner Tube viewer, the freedom of choice to see anything that we let you see.
ITi
Henry & Kermit (talking along with Kermit on the TV) That's why we say that Inner Tube is more than a way of life, it's television.
Jake Henry, it ain't necessary for you to be memorizing every word.
Henry Oh, I ain't memorizin' Jake, I just made sure I knew it by heart.
There is an explosion from one of the TV screens.
Jake Oh! Crasher! Cut it out Crasher, come on now, go on. Get back in there.
Crasher climbs out of his TV screen and into the next TV screen below.
Henry Is Crasher upset about something?
Jake Well, you know Crasher. He wants to be the star of every show, and uh, he can't so he gets a little frustrated. I try to calm him down, but he does have the tendency to crush people into little pieces.
ITj
Glitch begins crawling across the TV screens, and is seen by Henry.
Henry Hey!
Jake (turns to look) Oh, Glitch! Oh, no. He ain't supposed to be doin' that. Henry, go check the transponders.
Henry Okay. (runs back behind the panel of TVs, then runs back) Okay, I checked 'em!
Jake Yeah, and what was the reading?
Henry Oooh! (he runs back behind the TVs again) Oh, it looks bad! (runs back up to Jake) Glitch could destabilize the signal!
Jake Henry don't jump to conclusions! Now, what is the normal reading for the reality mode break-ins?
Henry The normal reading?
Jake Yeah.
Henry Uh...
Jake Twelve?
Henry Twelve! Yeah... roughly.
Jake And what was the reading you just saw?
Henry Uhm, ah, uh... eighteen thousand? ...seems little high.
Jake Henry, you don't realize what this means, do you?
Henry We're gonna have to go in?
Jake No, we're gonna have to go in! Glitch could destabilize the signal!
ITk
Jake picks up a remote control and zaps the two of them up into a TV screen. They land in the middle of a rock band playing in a studio.
Duke Jake! Henry! We're trying to rehearse!
Maya Something wrong, guys?
Jake Nuttin', no problem, a possible little misalignment in the transponder matrix.
ITl
Digit Transponder problems? (takes a hit from a crackling electric cable) I hate when that happens.
Henry Anyone seen Glitch?
Duke Come on guys, let's rehearse.
Maya What's this, suddenly you're in charge?
Duke: Maya, when there's a leadership gap someone must fill it.
Maya But Duke, you've got a brain gap and no-one fills that.
The nameless Inner Tube Drummer does a rimshot and laughs.
Digit Don't follow leaders, watch your parking meters.
Maya You got it, Digit! Now, can we help, Jake?
Jake No no no, just a glitch in the system. Come on, Henry. (they roll offscreen)
Drummer Big deal.
Digit Live it or live with it.
Duke Well, yeah, I mean look at us. We do just fine and we're surrounded by technology. Smash cuts, chroma keys, slow-mo, rotoscoping...
Maya Eight bar hooks, low-funk retro rock...
Digit Digital modulation wash...
Drummer Paradiddle flamadiddle.
Duke Flamadiddle?
ITm ITn
Crasher smashes through the wall behind Duke into their studio.
Crasher Exploooooo-sions! Ha ha ha ha ha! (runs off screen)
Duke Explosions have nothing to do with technology!
ITo
The screen surprises the band by tearing in half, revealing man's (live actor) head, wearing a pirate's headscarf and eyepatch, floating on a blue-sky background -- obviously a green-screen effect.
ITp
Zaloom Technology? I'll show you technology! Ah, look! A beautiful lake! (He glides over to a tabletop decorated to look like a lake shore scene, makes blowing wind sounds and his disembodied hands place a toy tree and toy frog in the scene.) Flora and fauna! Meanwhile... (He glides over to a "factory" built from cardboard boxes and tubes, and pulls plastic wrap "smoke" out of a smokestack. Making appropriate smoke and wind sounds with his mouth, he carries it back to the "lake" scene and makes it rain pollution. He then hacks and coughs as he makes the tree fall over, and ribbits a death scene for the frog, which he flips on it's back.) And that's technology!
Sirens and bells sound.
Zaloom Oh, they found me! Well, don't worry I'll be back. Zaloooooooooooom!
ITq
His head spins away into the distance as Jake and Henry push the torn TV screen back together. They are in front of the block of nine TV screens again, each of which shows Zaloom's face.
Jake Whew! It's that video pirate, Zaloom. (He picks up a remote and starts restoring the channels)
Henry Why can't he stay in his own channel?
Jake He doesn't have one.
ITr
As Jake changes channels, a closeup of Digit appears on one of the screens.
Digit (aghast) A man without a channel?
The screen flickers to an image of Glitch.
Jake: Watch out! Somebody punched up Glitch! Glitch, cut that out!
ITs
Glitch reaches out of his TV to the TV on his left and changes the channel to an older married couple in bed, then morphs into Kermit the Frog.
Kermit ...despite the unsubstantiated rumors that there is a glitch in the system...
The screen flickers to show Crasher running down a city sidewalk toward the camera.
ITt
Henry Oh no, it's Crasher!
Jake Henry, it's Crasher!
Henry It looks like he's trying to break out!
Jake Wait a minute, it looks like he's trying to break out!
ITu
Crasher leaps out of the TV screen, and lands on the floor of the couple's bedroom.
Crasher Morning!
ITv
The couple, who are snacking while watching TV in bed, pause and look at Crasher, then at each other, then back to Crasher and resume snacking.
Chet Well, whaddya think Babs?
Babs Nice effect, Chet.
Crasher I'm not an effect!
Chet: Good resolution.
Babs Yep, very realistic.
Jake (from the TV behind Crasher) Nope, not here.
Henry There he is!
Jake There he is! Crasher! Come back!
ITw
Crasher: Why should I? (hops in bed between Babs and Chet and makes himself comfortable) Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
Chet It almost seems like he's in bed with us!
Babs I was just going to say the same thing!
Henry Crasher! It's not safe out there!
Jake Everything's fine, but you could blow up.
Crasher (after that sinks in for a moment) Goodbye! (He climbs out of bed and back into the TV)
Chet Nice fella.
Babs Eh, for a hologram.
Scene changes back to the panel of nine TV screens. Jake stands in front of it talking to Glitch, who is standing beside him in "real space."
Jake Okay, we know you didn't mean to mess things up, but --woooooah! (Glitch grabs him by the arm and pulls him off screen)
ITx
Henry and Jake chase Glitch around as the rock band, again on the TV screens, plays the closing number: a longer, but still short song about joyously immersing one's self in technology.
Closing Number Lyrics Sample

Bits and streams and holograms
Will capture me just as I am
I'm trapped!
But i like it

Eventually Jake and Glitch appear on one of the TV screens.
Jake Right, now, this is your home, and your'e just gonna stay here from now on, right?
Glitch waves toodleoo at Jake and skedaddles off screen.
Jake Oh, Gliiiiitch!
ITy
Kermit appears on the middle TV screen.
Kermit If you have any questions about the Inner Tube system, our staff or personnel, please feel free to wonder what the answers are. And remember, with Inner Tube, if you're not plugged in, you can't get turned on.
Glitch smashes into the viewer's TV screen, and the credits roll.

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