Written by Alan L. Grey, Ginger Joan Grey, and Moe Jaffe
Date 1955
Source Steve Allen record
Publisher Memory Music Publishers/Colgems EMI

Rowlf the Dog sang "I Never Harmed an Onion" as the UK Spot on episode 104 of The Muppet Show. The song is full of puns such as "Once I saw a salad dressing", "I've also whipped cream and beaten an egg", and the titular "I've never harmed an onion, so why do they make me cry?"

Rowlf later performed the song at the Just for Laughs festival in 2012.