Howard Handupme is the solemn, Walter Cronkite-esque newscaster on Dinosaurs. His punning surname refers to his existence as a hand puppet, never seen except from behind a newsdesk or with his lower half otherwise concealed. Handupme is the primary anchor for DNN news, and provides expository commentary on such key events as the Al "Sexual" Harris hearings, the war with the four-leggers, and the Chief Elder election.

Handupme delivers the solemn last line in the final episode, "Changing Nature": "This is Howard Handupme saying good night. Goodbye."