A list of Fozzie Bear's comedy acts from The Muppet Show, frequently criticized by Statler and Waldorf. During the first season, the monologues usually followed the format of Fozzie telling bad jokes while being heckled, but following the first season, they often involved some kind of gimmick, although Fozzie still performed the standard monologues on occasion.
The pilot version of the series' first episode featured a monologue by Fozzie, which was cut from the broadcast version. He also performed comedy acts in It's The Muppet Show!, The Muppet Movie, Disney Extreme Digital, and a comic in the last issue of Disney Adventures, among other venues.
| || Jokes on Any Subject:
Fozzie asks the audience to come up with a word and he will tell a joke about it. Statler yells "Amoeba", which Fozzie doesn't know the meaning of.
| || The Greatest Straight Man in the Business:
Statler and Waldorf convince Fozzie that he's one of the greatest straight men in the business.
| || Not Good Enough to Clean the Palace:
Statler and Waldorf give Fozzie a hard time with his monologue. Fozzie says that he's good enough to play the palace, and they tell him he's not good enough to clean the palace.
| || Fozzie's Best Joke:
Fozzie promises that if Statler and Waldorf don't laugh at his best joke, he will quit comedy. They laugh at his joke, but he actually told his worst joke.
| ||The Telephone Pole Bit:|
| || Fozzie Attempts to Bury Statler and Waldorf:
Fozzie tells Statler and Waldorf that if they start heckling him, he will just bury them with one line. However, Statler and Waldorf end up burying Fozzie with one line.
| || Good Grief! The Comedian's a Bear!:
Fozzie gets Kermit to participate in his act. It's all unrehearsed, and Fozzie tells Kermit that when he hears the word "hear", he is supposed to shout "Good Grief! The Comedian's a Bear!". However, Fozzie keeps saying "hear" during parts of the joke where Kermit isn't supposed to say the line, and eventually Fozzie changes it so Kermit shouts the line when he points to Kermit, and he points to Kermit the next time he says "hear".This was also heard onThe Muppet Show (album), Muppet Hits Take 2 and Music, Mayhem and More!, and included in Fozzie's Muppet Scrapbook.
| || Japanese Actors:
Fozzie tells a few jokes involving Japanese actors, and also does a tribute to Marco Marcell.
| || Bruce Forsyth Does an Act:
Due to the show running a bit longer than planned, Kermit cancels Fozzie's act, and puts on Bruce Forsyth, who does a monologue on Fozzie's set. When Statler and Waldorf start heckling him, he gives them some comeback lines. Fozzie is impressed, and Bruce teaches Fozzie how to come back at them, and after defeating them, they sing "Side by Side".
| || The Banana Sketch:
Fozzie Bear does a classic routine, written by his writer, the legendary Gags Beasley, but the scene cuts to a backstage scene after Fozzie says the first line of the monologue. This was also illustrated in The Muppet Show Book.
| || Banana in the Ear:
Avery Schreiber comes to Fozzie's defense after Statler and Waldorf start heckling him. Avery says that he used to always be heckled by his partner, who refused to do such classics as the "Banana In The Ear" gag. Fozzie likes that act, so Avery gives him a banana. Fozzie doesn't get a reaction from the audience, but Avery decides to do it himself, and the crowd goes wild.
| || In a Trunk:
Fozzie Bear is locked in a trunk, so he has to tell his jokes from inside the trunk. This was also included in Fozzie's Muppet Scrapbook.
| || Fozzie vs. the Audience:
After getting some laughs, Fozzie finds that his identical cousin who's in the audience is telling jokes. Another member of the audience, Leo, tells Statler and Waldorf to quiet down, not because he doesn't want them interrupting Fozzie's act, but because he doesn't want them interrupting his sleep. After enough heckling, Fozzie turns around and demands that everybody who is not a real Fozzie Bear fan must leave the audience. He turns back, and only Statler and Waldorf stay.
| || Fozzie and Chuckie Time:
Fozzie brings out his homemade ventriloquist dummy, Chuckie, and asks him questions, but Chuckie doesn't answer them. Apparently, Fozzie does not realize that the ventriloquist is supposed to do the talking for the dummy. This was also included in the compilation videos Fozzie's Muppet Scrapbook and It's The Muppets: More Muppets, Please!.
| || Baskerville the Hound auditions:
Baskerville the Hound auditions to be a comedian, wearing a hat and necktie like the ones Fozzie wears and even performing on Fozzie's usual set, but Fozzie drags Baskerville off-stage with a cane and calls out, "Next!"
| ||Fozzie on Roller Skates:|
| || Phrenology:
Since Fozzie's mom is in the audience, he decides to do a special act, "Phrenology". He volunteers Kermit to assist him as he reads the bumps on Kermit's head to predict his future. This was also included in Fozzie's Muppet Scrapbook and It's The Muppets: Meet the Muppets.
| || Fozzie Pig:
Fozzie Bear gets replaced by Fozzie Pig, a pig version of Fozzie.
| || Fozzie's Memory Act:
Fozzie does a memory act, with assistance from Annie Sue Pig. Fozzie, who has trouble remembering things during the act, tells the audience that he will cover his eyes, Annie Sue will describe what one person in the audience is wearing, and Fozzie will be able to point out where that person is sitting. Annie Sue says that the mystery person is wearing a brown hat and a white bow-tie with red polka dots, and Fozzie accidentally (and correctly) guesses himself.
| || The Electrician and the Polar Bears:
Scooter introduces Fozzie, who isn't ready. Scooter tells Fozzie to just tell the joke that he'd told Scooter, about the electrician and the polar bear. Fozzie is surprised that Scooter liked it, but goes on to tell it. Unfortunately, since this show is performed at a railroad station, a train goes past during the act, it's sound drowning out the middle of the joke.
| || Fozzie Tells Jokes During At the Dance:
Fozzie decides to give up comedy, and Kermit tells the audience the news. When the audience applauds over him quitting, Fozzie thinks they want him on-stage, so he decides not to quit. But it's too late, his act has been canceled, and At The Dance is on in his place. Fozzie goes on anyway, but the dancers finish his jokes for him.
| ||Sawing a Lady in Half:|
| || Fozzie's Mime Act:
Inspired by mimes Shields and Yarnell, Fozzie does a mime act.
| ||Lines Finished by Astoria:|
| || The Titanic:
When Fozzie finishes a joke that refers to the Titanic, Statler reveals that he was on that ship. Waldorf adds after the skit that Statler still had the dress he wore sothe crew would let him into the lifeboat.
| || Fozzie's Magic Act:
Fozzie tries out a magic act, pulling a rabbit from a hat. Instead, he gets a rabbi, and then a robot. He taps the hat too hard, and gets dozens of rabbits, who follow him around and call him "Daddy."
| || In The Woods:
Fozzie tells jokes in the woods. This was also included in Fozzie's Muppet Scrapbook.
| || Fozzie's Puppet Act:
Fozzie decides to do a puppet act. Fozzie is up above the curtains working a clown marionette, and after it comes to life, it pulls Fozzie down. This was also included in Fozzie's Muppet Scrapbook.
| || Wally Whoopie:
Fozzie is replaced by Wally Whoopie, the standup comedian for WHOG country radio, who makes fun of the bear.