|Written by||Phillip Namanworth|
|Publisher||Shirdi Music Company|
"Fair Is Fair" is a song sung by Ernie and Bert. Bert says it's time to wash the dishes, and he wants Ernie to dry them. Ernie says he can't because he has a ball game. So they sing about different ways of being fair and unfair to a friend. Taking his things without asking is unfair, but listening to him when he's talking to you is fair. After the song, Ernie says that he'll dry the dishes when he comes back. Bert says that by then, they'll be dry anyway. Since they'll be dry whether or not Ernie does them, he laughs and goes outside. Bert makes an exasperated noise.
- Fair Is Fair (1978)