|Picture||Summary / EKA||Description|
| Rock Hunting|
|Ernie is on a hunt for big rocks. When he tries to pick a really big rock, the rock turns out to be the dome of a large monster.|
| The Magic Apple|
| Bob reads a story which is acted out by Ernie, Bert and three Anything Muppets. Ernie plays a "poor but honest farm boy" who would like to marry a princess and live in a palace with Rubber Duckies and banana milkshakes. A fairy godmother grants him that wish, but only if he can pick a magic apple from a tree. A farmer attempts to help him get the apple, but doesn't succeed. Finally, Ernie rests under the tree until the apple falls into his mouth! Just then, a king arrives and chooses Ernie to marry his daughter, "the lovely princess Gwendolynda" (Bert in drag).
| Feelings In the Rain|
|Bert attempts to go under Ernie's umbrella while it's raining however; Ernie pushes Bert away from the umbrella every time he explains how the rain can make him feel happy, sad, and angry. Bert agrees with Ernie when he mentions angry because it turns out Ernie has Bert’s umbrella. Ernie leaves holding Bert’s umbrella without Bert who is left soaking in the rain.|
| Ice Cream Truck|
|Happening upon Mr. Ice Cream Cone Man, Ernie wants to buy a chocolate - strawberry - peach - vanilla - banana - pistachio - peppermint - lemon - orange - butterscotch ice cream cone. The ice cream vendor instead gives him a butterscotch - orange - lemon - peppermint - pistachio - banana - vanilla - peach - strawberry - chocolate ice cream cone.|
| Soda straw|
|Mr. Hooper and Tom serve sodas to Ernie and Bert. Ernie doesn't know how to drink with a straw, so the others encourage him. Ernie gets so good at drinking with a straw that he drinks Bert's soda, too.|
| The Beach: Bert is Missing|
|At the beach, Ernie notices that Bert is missing; all he sees is Bert's hat. Sherlock Hemlock helps find Bert, and in the process, it turns out that Ernie accidentally buried Bert under the sand.|
| Borrowing a Vacuum|
|Ernie wants to borrow Herbert Birdsfoot's vacuum cleaner, but he worries about how Herbert will respond. Maybe Herbert's taking a bath, and he'll be so angry at Ernie for interrupting him that he'll tell everyone to never loan Ernie anything ever again!|
| The Beach: Planning ahead|
|It's a sunny day at the beach, and Bert remembered to bring everything. Ernie, however, only brought an umbrella in case it rains... which it does.|
| Things Everybody Does|
|Ernie, Bert, Bob and the Kids talk about things that everybody does.|
| At the movies: Loud Noises|
| At the theater, Ernie makes some loud noises while he eats his popcorn and drinks his soda. Bert loses his temper and shouts at Ernie to be quiet, at which point the usher enters and throws Bert out.
| The Beach: Tough Eddie|
|A tough guy named Tough Eddie accidentally knocks over Bert's sand castle while he's sleeping. Ernie points that out to Eddie, and Eddie tells Ernie, in a threatening tone of voice, that he's "got something" for Bert. It turns out to be an ice cream cone.|
| The King's Nose|
|Bert and Ernie appear in the story of The King's Nose, along with several other major Sesame Street characters. Ernie plays a young boy named Bruce who throws a pink rubber ball and accidentally gets it stuck on the king's nose. And Bert plays one of the king's subjects, the one who starts the trend of copying the king by putting a ball on his own nose.|
| At The Movies: Ernie gets emotional|
| Ernie gets emotional during a movie: first he's sad, then scared, then happy. His reactions bother the other moviegoers, and the scene ends in chaos.
| At the movies: Lady with a Tall Hat|
| A lady with a very tall hat sits in front of Ernie, blocking his view of the movie.
| Ball Team|
|Ernie is a coach for his baseball team (three balls). In front of him are three small caps and a huge cap. Each of the balls tries on the big cap and gets completely covered up. Ernie puts the small caps on them, and they're ready to start. As Ernie wonders where that huge cap came from, a basketball (captain of the opposing team) bounces in, demanding his cap back. Ernie ends up postponing the game once he sees the competition.|
| Ice cream soda|
|While Ernie looks after Hooper's Store, Bert asks him for something to drink. Ernie starts out with a glass of unflavored soda water, tastes it, and decides it's too dull for his ol' buddy Bert. To Bert's dismay, Ernie then adds some strawberry syrup to the soda water, then a scoop of vanilla ice cream, and finally some whipped cream. Now it's an ice cream soda, which Bert doesn't want... but Ernie does.|
| Robin Hood's Merry Men Audition|
|Ernie portrays Robin Hood, who is setting up an audition trying to find some merry men.|
| Ernie works for The Count|
| The Count hires Ernie to answer his phone so that he won't be bothered with calls while he is counting. However, when the phone rings, the Count wants to count the rings, and won't let Ernie pick up the phone until it's too late. "I told you it wasn't going to be easy," the Count explains.
| Ernie and Bert's Separate Ways|
|Ernie and Bert get into a big fight and decide to go their separate ways, Ernie moving out west to become a cowboy and Bert going to the North Pole to study fish. Maria convinces them not to do so, because then they'd never see each other again.|
| Ernie Knocks Down Bottles|
|At the carnival , Herry asks Ernie to participate in a game. Ernie has three chances to win a prize by knocking down a pile of bottles with a baseball. Ernie only manages to knock down some, then most of the bottles, but not all of them, so he doesn't win the prize. Herry, on the other hand, can knock the bottles down not with a baseball, but with his loud voice.|
| Ernie buys a newspaper|
| Ernie buys a newspaper after hearing the newsboy yell out the headline: "Four People Fooled!" Ernie reads the paper, but finds no such news in the paper, making him the fifth fool.
| Apple Stand|
|Ernie has set up an apple stand to sell apples. He shows Bert that he's got everything he needs including the stand, a stool for his customers to sit on, a cash register and napkins. When Bert asks to buy an apple, Ernie realizes that the apples are the one thing he's forgotten.|
| Apple Walnut Raisin Cookies |
|Ernie helps Cookie Monster in making apple-walnut-raisin cookies, but every time Ernie hands the monster each ingredient, Cookie Monster instantly devours it.|
| Bert reads from his pigeon joke book|
|Ernie doesn't think pigeons are able to laugh at Bert's jokes, but he's wrong ...|
| Egyptian Mummies|
| Ernie and Bert explore an Egyptian pyramid. Bert is excited but Ernie is afraid. They see statues that look like them. Bert decides to explore a tunnel while Ernie looks at the statues, and then the Ernie statue starts tapping and talking to Ernie. But when Ernie calls Bert back to the room, the statue doesn't move. Ernie is scared until the statue starts singing Rubber Duckie with him. Bert doesn't believe Ernie, until he says "Bye-bye, statue," and the statue replies "Bye-bye!" and laughs... just like Ernie.
Later airings of this sketch (including on Elmo Says BOO!) trimmed some material and added music to underscore the mood. The Best of Ernie and Bert and Old School: Volume 3 included the sketch uncut and unaltered. The sketch as presented on Sesamestreet.org is uncut, but retains the later added underscoring. The sketch was also recreated in clay for the book Where's the Duckie?.
| Fish Call|
| Bert and Ernie go fishing. Ernie catches fish by yelling "Here fishy, fishy, fishy," and fish come flying to his boat. Bert tries it, but only catches a shark.
| Ernie and Bert go to the jungle|
|Ernie and Bert go to the jungle to find Dr. Livingstone, because Ernie has a very important question to ask him, but they keep running into other people, including a fire fighter and a taxi driver.|
| Dressing a snowman|
| Ernie and Bert build a snowman, but Ernie fears that the snowman will be cold if they don't dress him. Even though Bert tries to tell him that snowmen can't feel the cold, that doesn't stop Ernie from dressing the snowman in Bert's clothing.
| Miami Mice|
|Ernie pays a visit to the headquarters of the Miami Mice, asking them to help him get back his Rubber Duckie, which he had taken to the repair shop. When they get there, they wonder at first why no one is there until they realize that the shop is cerrado, or, in English, closed.|
| Ernie and Bert go camping|
| Ernie and Bert are camping. It's time for them to sleep, but Ernie keeps distracting Bert by pointing out the various sounds that they hear.
| Bert's Tuba Sound|
| In the park, Bert overhears the sound of a tuba - his favorite instrument. It's actually Simon Soundman, who's "just practicing." Bert begs Simon to teach him how to make that sound by himself, but Bert ends up attracting Gladys the Cow, who thinks she heard the romantic call of a bull.
| Fashion Report|
| Ernie gives a report on what the well-dressed trees are wearing each season.
| The American Revolution: The National Bird|
|In this episode of The American Revolution, Bert and Ernie are two of the founding fathers who are trying to decide on the national bird. Bert, as Thomas Jefferson, favors the pigeon because it loves things that make America great; things like windowsills, statues, and curbs. Ernie, as John Adams, prefers the bald eagle, as it's a handsome bird which can watch over the country as it flies. Other founding fathers are played by Telly Monster, Elmo, and Oscar the Grouch, with Herry Monster as the Moderator.|
| The Love Boat parody|
|Ernie and the crew of a boat all really love the boat that they are on. "WE LOVE THIS BOAT!"|
| Old King Cole|
|Ernie plays Old King Cole and calls for his pipe and bowl. When he calls for his fiddlers three, they each appear one at a time allowing Ernie to practice his addition. The introduction to the story is narrated by Sonia Manzano.|
| Hill Street Twos|
| Grover and Ernie star in a parody of Hill Street Blues, where the frustrated police chief has a hard time getting his force to split into pairs of two.
| Bert and Betty Lou Ice Skate|
|Full-body versions of Bert and Betty Lou ice skate together.|
| Ernie and Bert at the movies: The Picnic|
| Ernie and Bert go to the movies to see a silent movie, "The Picnic," starring Charlie Chaplin (played by Sonia Manzano) and his date (played by Linda Bove).
| Ernie buys a sweater||Ernie is at a clothing store to buy himself a sweater. A salesman shows him a sweater, but Ernie doesn't like it and wants something else. While the salesman tries to get Ernie to buy it, Bert comes in the store and likes the sweater.|
|Picture||Summary / EKA||Description|
| Bert practices his pigeon calls|
| Bert goes to the park to practice his pigeon calls, but instead of attracting a pigeon that says coo, he gets a cow that says moo, an owl that says hoo, a number two, and an entire zoo.
| Ernie and Bert go fishing|
|Ernie keeps catching fish, and Bert doesn't, so Ernie tries moving to a different place on the boat, then not using bait, then just quitting. When Bert finally catches something, it is only a note that reads: "What happened to your friend?"|
| Elmo is Loud|
| Bert enjoys a nice day at the park feeding his pigeons when Elmo screams a hello to him, scaring the pigeons away. Bert explains that when pigeons are near, one must be quiet. Elmo understands and helps Bert by loudly calling the pigeons back. Bert becomes happy again and Elmo cheers...scaring the pigeons away again.
| Bert's Fairy Tales: Sleeping Beauty|
| Bert portrays Prince Charming, who wakes up Sleeping Beauty, but then puts her to sleep again when he starts talking to her about his paper clips.
| Bottlecap Box|
| Ernie finds less boring uses for Bert's bottlecap box and pretends it's a spaceship, a treasure chest and a robot costume.
| Estimation Vacation|
|While vacationing alone at the beach, Bert ends up on Guy Smiley's game show "Estimation Vacation." Facing off against the Estimation Crustacean, he must make an estimate as to how many of each animal there are. Bert comes out victorious, winning an unwanted trip to Alaska.|
| Fruit Friends||In the park, Ernie wonders if his banana can make friends with Bert's orange. Bert thinks fruits can't make friends, but Ernie tries to convince Bert that the difference between the two doesn't matter.|
|Pretending||Ernie teaches Bert how to pretend to be an elephant.|
|Funny Things||Bert tries to read his book in the park, when Ernie dances around him, making funny noises. He is shocked to find out Bert doesn't find it funny and Bert explains that what's funny to Ernie may not be funny to him. Bert tells Ernie he's going to continue reading, making Ernie laugh. Bert sees how funny he is and tries out some funny catchphrases, which Ernie doesn't find funny.|
|Helmets||Bert reads his book when Ernie rushes up to him, desperately asking him to put on a helmet. Bert explains that one needs a helmet for riding bikes and other activities, but not reading. Once he finally gets it on, Ernie reveals he kicked his soccer ball really hard and it went into the sky. It then falls right on Bert's head.|
|Imaginary Swim||Ernie convinces Bert to take an imaginary swim with him. Even though it's not real, Bert's book ends up soaking wet.|
|Feelings||Ernie shows Bert that Rubber Duckie can express many emotions, despite what Bert logically thinks.|
|Pigeon Watching||While Bert tries to watch some pigeons in the park, Ernie gives demonstrations of "next to", "behind", "in front of" and "under", blocking Bert's view each time.|
|Sleeping||At the beach, Ernie tries to show Bert what he's missing if he goes to sleep. Bert finally sees what Ernie means, just as he falls asleep himself.|
|Computer||Bert looks up pigeons on his laptop when Ernie bothers him with his bugle.|
|Missing Paperclips||Bert wants to know where his missing paperclips are. It turns out that Ernie made them into a necklace.|
|Five||Ernie, armed with a magnifying glass, looks for the number 5 all over Bert. When he's fed up, he shows Ernie the 5 in his book, which Ernie then walks off with.|
|Ducks||Bert wants Ernie's help in sorting his bottlecaps, but Ernie's too busy pretending to be a duck. He gets Bert to quack along with him and together, they attract a real duck, who messes up Bert's collection.|
|Jumping Experiment||Ernie reads a book about science and ropes Bert into an experiment. He has Bert jump up and down, while he records what he observes. Bert eventually gets tired and angrily stops, revoking his participation in the experiment. Ernie reveals the next part of the experiment was to provide him with juice, but since Bert's not a part anymore, he drinks it himself.|
|Ernie wants Bert to jump with him, but Bert declines. To get him to do it, he swipes his hat and places it atop a large stick that Bert tries to jump to reach.|
| Garden Exercise|
|Ernie and Bert find ways to exercise while cleaning the garden.|
| Bike Riding|
|Ernie convinces Bert that falling and hurting himself is okay when he's trying to ride a bike.|
| Rubber Duckie Gymnastics|
|Fitness instructor Rubber Duckie teaches Ernie and Bert a new exercise. Bert struggles with in, but he finally gets it, the lesson is over and Chef Rubber Duckie starts a cooking class.|
| The Heart|
|Ernie recites poems about the heart, using his bongos to emulate the sound it makes.|
| Body Photos|
|Ernie takes photos of Bert's heart by photographing the body parts it helps (his hair, skin, stomach).|
|Ernie and Bert are on a picnic, but Bert is more focused on observing Bernice than eat with Ernie. Bernice ends up taking Bert's sandwich, but at least he can watch her do it.|
| New Foods|
|Ernie brings home a strange fruit from the market and encourages Bert to try it.|
|Ernie discovers a box full of old things of when he and Bert were younger, including Bert's hat and Ernie's old duckie shirt. Ernie tries it on and finds it doesn't fit and thinks something has happened to it. Bert points out that they've grown and changed.|
|Ernie disrupts Bert's reading with facts about lungs from his book. He tells Bert that even pigeons use their lungs to "coo." Bert tries it out and is amazed to find it's true, until Ernie tells him to be quieter; he's trying to read.|
| Imaginary Ping Pong|
|Ernie ropes Bert into playing an imaginary game of ping pong with him.|
| Pogo Stick|
|Ernie wants Bert to try jumping on a pogo stick, but Bert doesn't know how. With some help from Ernie, he learns how to jump...but Ernie's too busy reading Bert's book to teach him how to stop.|
|While Bert sorts his paperclips, Ernie demonstrates different kinds of dances, roping Bert into them. They accidentally ruin his collection, so Ernie begins a paperclip polka to retrieve them.|
| Listening to Body|
|Ernie listens to his body's needs, ignoring Bert's requests for help scratching his back.|
| Pajama Exercise|
|Bert is surprised to see Ernie show up to their exercise time dressed in his pajamas with his sheets, pillow and Rubber Duckie. Ernie makes use of everything after their job, for his rest.|
|Ernie plans on phoning him and Bert a pizza, when Bert shows him how they can make a healthier alternative using veggies and pita bread. Ernie gobbles it all in one bite and gives Bert the phone to order a new one.|
|Ernie and Bert are having a breakfast picnic in the park. Bert is looking forward to his oatmeal, but must wait as Ernie pulls out the other breakfast foods he's packed. He finds the oatmeal, but it's all been eaten.|
| Balanced Meal|
|Ernie tries balancing an apple on his head, thinking that's what's meant by having a "balanced meal." Bert shows him his healthy lunch and suggests Ernie try that instead. Ernie takes it literally and begins munching down Bert's meal.|
| Chef Ernie|
|Ernie, dressed in a chef's hat, shows Bert the meal he has planned out. Bert is looking forward to the tasty food, until Ernie reveals hasn't cooked anything.|
| Ernie Explores His Senses|
|Ernie uses his senses to explore and teaches Bert how as well.|
|Exercise||Ernie encourages Bert to stop bird-watching and get exercise by playing tag with him.|