|The Muppet Show|
|Production||May 22-24, 1979|
|Premiere|| UK: November 9, 1979|
US: November 1, 1979
Bobby Benson is arrested, and somebody has to take care of his Baby Band. Trying to prove to Kermit that she's mother material, Miss Piggy volunteers to take them. The babies go wild in her dressing room, tearing everything up.
- Link Hogthrob and Gonzo as leaders of rival gangs (Pigs and Chickens respectively), sing "Macho Man."
- Rowlf the Dog and Victor play the "Hungarian Rhapsody No. 2" on the piano.
- The Rats sing "Rock Around the Clock."
- UK Spot: "Act Naturally", sung by Gonzo
- The Bust of Beethoven, Fozzie Bear and Victor fall asleep to the "Moonlight Sonata."
- The Swedish Chef tries to make turtle soup.
- Victor plays Tchaikovsky's "Piano Concerto No. 1," backed by the Baby Band.
|Cold Open: Victor tells Scooter that he is playing Beethoven (Minuet in G Major), and asks if he has any requests. The Bust of Beethoven interjects: "Yes. Don't play Beethoven."|
|"The Muppet Show Theme": When Gonzo blows his trumpet, he's tackled by a group of Babies.|
|The opening number takes place on a set constructed to look like the rooftops of an inner city neighborhood. Link Hogthrob leads a gang of male pigs in a rendition of "Macho Man" against Gonzo and his chickens. Patrol Bear attempts to appease the situation, but a Whatnot knocks him out with a flower pot. The fight ends with the pig gang surrendering with white flags.|
|A whatnot in trenchcoat, hat and dark glasses asks Kermit if he's got a Bobby Benson working here. Kermit directs him downstairs where he's rehearsing. Scooter says the guy looks familiar, that he's seen him on TV, but can't remember what show.|
|The babies have just finished rehearsing when the man asks Bobby Benson if they can speak in private. While he's gone, Fozzie volunteers to watch the babies, and attempts to tell them some stories. They're not keen on the idea and beat him up.|
|Rowlf and Victor play Liszt's "Hungarian Rhapsody No. 2" as a duet while trading classical music jokes. Victor is impressed with Rowlf's piano-playing and wonders how his violin is. Rowlf says he sometimes fiddles around.|
|Backstage, Bobby Benson is being taken away in handcuffs and Scooter remembers he's seen the guy on the 6 o'clock news: he's a cop. For a moment it appears as though there's no one to watch the babies, but Miss Piggy arrives humming "Brahms' Lullaby" and whisks them off saying that she'll be a wonderful mother someday. At the top of the stairs, Piggy sings out a line of the title song from The Sound of Music. In her dressing room, Piggy's sweet tone shifts sharply as she screams at all the babies to SHUT UP.|
|The rats sing "Rock Around the Clock" in a dusty attic room, it's leader perched inside a grandfather clock, starting the number off with a recitation of "Hickory Dickory Dock". In the middle of the song, Catgut emerges to cross the room, forcing the rats into hiding, but she only yawns and continues on her way.|
|In his dressing room, Victor plays "The Blue Danube" but keeps stopping because it sounds off. He pulls the sheet music from the compartment in his chair and plays again, following the notation closely. When it comes out the same, he shrugs and says, "I was right!"|
|For the UK spot, Gonzo plays "Act Naturally" on the ukulele, which turns into a duet with his own reflection in the mirror.|
|Fozzie enters Victor's dressing room and makes a raucous, despite Victor's request to stay quiet. He agrees to let Fozzie stay while he plays Beethoven's "Moonlight Sonata", but insists that it will bore him. Indeed, the piece makes the two fall asleep, including the Bust of Beethoven who is perched nearby. Since he found it fascinating, Victor invites Fozzie to come back later and watch him tie his shoes.|
|Kermit and Scooter stop by Piggy's dressing room to see how she's doing with the babies. Once Kermit has gone downstairs, Piggy asks Scooter to come in to a room full of babies swinging from the ceiling, wearing lampshades, and make a mess of the place. Visibly frazzled, Piggy orders Scooter to get the babies out of there.|
|The Swedish Chef tries to make turtle soup. After several attempts to chop off a turtle's extremities, the Chef breaks out the blunderbuss. In response, the turtle retreats into his shell and launches artillery as if from a battle tank, shooting the chef in the face.|
|Backstage, Bobby Benson has returned and explains he was taken away in handcuffs because he lost a lawsuit to the Tooth Fairy. Piggy relinquishes guardianship of the babies to Bobby, accidentally pushing one of them off the railing. One floor below, Kermit catches him and the baby says, "Piggy: mommy; Kermie: daddy!"|
|On stage, Bobby and the babies accompany Victor in a performance of Tchaikovsky's "Piano Concerto No. 1". The orchestra is comprised of tiny instruments, a kazoo, a slide whistle, and a toy piano. Excerpts from Twelve Variations on "Ah vous dirai-je, Maman", the "Colonel Bogey March", and "Pop Goes the Weasel" are included.|
|Signing off the show, Kermit and Victor are joined onstage by Bobby Benson and the babies. To thank him for being their guest soloist, they present him with a baton as a souvenir. Victor accepts, but says they've given him so much already. Like chicken pox.|
- The "Moonlight Sonata" scene was featured in a 2000 tribute special, The Legendary Victor Borge.
- Jim Henson as Kermit the Frog, Rowlf, Waldorf, Link Hogthrob and the Swedish Chef
- Frank Oz as Miss Piggy and Fozzie Bear
- Jerry Nelson as Bust of Beethoven, Cop, Rat, and Baby
- Richard Hunt as Bobby Benson, Scooter, and Statler
- Dave Goelz as Gonzo
- Louise Gold as others
- Steve Whitmire as others
- Kathy Mullen as others
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|Dyan Cannon||Linda Lavin|