|Air Date||June 8, 1994|
|Written by||David A. Caplan and Brian Lapan|
Earl's accidental exposure to toxic waste transforms him into "Captain Impressive," a mysterious super hero committed to fighting crime and righting wrongs. Earl also sees his chance to outshine Captain Action Figure, Baby's current hero, by using his newly acquired superpowers against the forces of evil -- until B.P. Richfield discovers Earl's hidden talents. Determined to use "Captain Impressive" for WESAYSO's benefit, Richfield quickly changes Earl from Super Hero to Super Huckster. Faster than you can say "shoddy merchandise," Earl decides to hang up his tights and retire from his career as a crime fighter.
Earl announces that he's been promoted to "Toxic Waste Supervisor", but Robbie and Charlene don't show much interest. Earl doesn't care that they don't show interest, but wants to impress the Baby, who is too preoccupied with watching his hero, Captain Action Figure, on TV. While dumping toxic waste into a lake, Earl laments the fact that the Baby doesn't seem to care for him, and shows Roy the hat that he plans on impressing the Baby with. Roy tells Earl that while the hat is impressive, a child's love for his father shouldn't be based on a hat. Earl tosses the hat into the lake, but then Roy says that he might be wrong, because he doesn't have any kids of his own. Earl jumps into the lake to get it back, and when he comes back, he is glowing.
The glowing effect wears off, but when he decides to get up after sitting, he accidentally flies. Roy mentions that he's only seen superheroes in comic books fly, and then suspects that Earl might be a superhero. He asks Earl to see if he has x-ray vision by trying to see through Roy's change purse, but Earl has heat ray vision instead. When Roy complains about Earl burning his lunch money, Earl says that Roy can stand to lose a few days of eating, correctly guessing Roy's weight. This proves to Roy that Earl is a superhero, and tells Earl that he has to protect the world from evil. Earl can't wait to tell the Baby, but Roy says that he can't let anybody know that he's a superhero, and he needs a secret superhero name. Earl wants it to be something that would impress the Baby, so he becomes "Captain Impressive".
Captain Impressive is seen on the news, foiling a bank robbery and saving the planet from a meteor. Earl is also happy that the Baby likes Captain Impressive better than Captain Action Figure. However, at work, Roy asks Earl to use his heat ray to heat up his lunch, and Mr. Richfield sees this, ordering Earl to come in, and tricking him into admitting that he is Captain Impressive. Richfield tells Earl that his powers could benefit WESAYSO, but Earl informs Richfield that he has to fight the forces of evil, and to him, Richfield is evil. Richfield, however, points out that Earl's employment contract (which Richfield had previously told Earl that he didn't have to read) states that any employee who gets superpowers has to be controlled by WESAYSO.
Pangaea suddenly has a crime wave, which Earl is unable to stop due to spending most of his time promoting WESAYSO products. However, Captain Impressive is still the Baby's hero. Richfield informs Earl that research shows that Captain Impressive is godlike to kids between the ages of 2 and 12, so WESAYSO will now sponsor a Captain Impressive series. Earl is thrilled, thinking that the show will be educational, but the show will actually be a home shopping show. Earl looks at the products being sold, which include an action figure which comes apart, revealing a fish knife, and a trachea plug, and questions this, but is contractually obligated.
During his show, the Baby calls in wanting to order the trachea plug. Earl talks to the Baby, asking him why he' want such a dangerous product. The Baby says he wants it because Captain Impressive's name is on it, and Captain Impressive is his hero. Earl explains that he wanted to be the baby's hero, but not to sell him things, and takes off his mask, revealing his true identity.
At home, Earl takes a shower, and is no longer a superhero. He gives the Baby a Captain Impressive action figure, which he removed the fish knife from. However, the Baby doesn't like Captain Impressive anymore, because he no longer has any superpowers. Earl removes the toys costume, which now looks like Earl, and explains that parents can be heroes, too, despite not having superpowers. The Baby starts playing with the toy, calling him "Captain Daddy".
- Michael McKean - Ed (voice)
- Rickey Boyd - Additional Dinosaur Performer
- Julianne Buescher - Additional Dinosaur Performer
- Tom Fisher - Additional Dinosaur Performer
- Jack Tate - Additional Dinosaur Perfoermer
- Star Townshend - Additional Dinosaur Performer
- Taped on July 8, 1993
Seen on TV
- Captain Action Figure and His Para-Military Pals
- DNN News
- The Captain Impressive Action Fun Hour
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