This episode guide has been compiled from incomplete video material.
Gordon and Susan are in a hurry to catch the train. Gordon stops at the newsstand to pick up a newspaper, only to find that all the newspapers have smelly fish in them. Oscar reveals that he bought the newsstand so he can yell at subway riders and make them late for their trains. He points Gordon to the newspapers that don't have fish ... but mud.
Ruthie witnesses Oscar yelling at a customer (Jon Stone), then shows him how to treat customers properly. Oscar doesn't care for manners -- or money -- he's in it for the fish and the grouchy clientele.
Maria stops by the newsstand and asks for a copy of The Fix-it Woman's Gazette. He gives Maria the special treatment by having his goat Lassie chew the magazine, and his pig roll in it. She says she wants a clean magazine, so he has Fluffy spray it with water, getting Maria wet as well.
Oscar announces that there's no service on the A, B, C, D, E or F trains. Just then his mom comes flying out of the subway ("Now that's what I call an express!"). He shows her the "closed" sign he made, which he uses to fool a customer (Fran Brill) -- but his scheme backfires. He feel like a failure, but his mom cheers him up.
Maria warns Luis against shopping at Oscar's newsstand. Luis is surprised to pick up a clean newspaper, but annoyed when he sees it's from yesterday. He then remembers that he didn't read the paper yesterday, and thanks Oscar. Gordon announces the sponsors.