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Episode 324: Cheryl Ladd/transcript

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1 00:00:09,966 --> 00:00:11,867 Cheyl Ladd. Cheyl Ladd?

2 00:00:11,933 --> 00:00:13,801 Twenty seconds to curtain, Miss Ladd.

3 00:00:13,866 --> 00:00:17,302 Oh, thank you, Scooter. l, l just can't seem to get my costume off.

4 00:00:17,366 --> 00:00:20,235 Off? You're supposed to put it on.

5 00:00:20,866 --> 00:00:25,303 l know, but, uh, first he takes it off and then l'll put it on.

6 00:00:27,633 --> 00:00:29,067 [drumroll]

7 00:00:29,133 --> 00:00:33,470 lt's the Muppet Show with our vey special guest star, Cheyl Ladd!

8 00:00:33,533 --> 00:00:35,434 Yay!

9 00:00:35,633 --> 00:00:37,701 [applause and cheers]

10 00:00:37,766 --> 00:00:40,602 [band plays theme song]

11 00:00:48,700 --> 00:00:50,435

  1. It's time to play the music

12 00:00:50,500 --> 00:00:52,435

  1. It's time to light the lights

13 00:00:52,500 --> 00:00:56,604

  1. It's time to meet the Muppets

on The Muppet Show tonight

14 00:00:56,666 --> 00:00:58,734

  1. It's time to put on makeup

15 00:00:58,799 --> 00:01:00,801

  1. It's time to dress up right

16 00:01:00,866 --> 00:01:02,767

  1. It's time to get things started

17 00:01:02,833 --> 00:01:04,935 [all] # Why don't you get things started?

18 00:01:05,000 --> 00:01:08,303 Hey, would you guys be quiet? We're tying to heckle up here!

19 00:01:09,333 --> 00:01:12,302

  1. It's time to get things started

on the most sensational

20 00:01:12,366 --> 00:01:14,534

  1. Inspirational, celebrational

21 00:01:14,599 --> 00:01:15,701

  1. Muppetational

22 00:01:15,766 --> 00:01:17,767

  1. This is what we

23 00:01:17,833 --> 00:01:22,504

  1. Call The Muppet Show #

24 00:01:23,066 --> 00:01:24,700 [alarm clock]

25 00:01:24,766 --> 00:01:26,334 [audience laughs]

26 00:01:27,266 --> 00:01:28,266 [applause]

27 00:01:28,333 --> 00:01:32,203 Thank you, thank you, thank you and welcome again to rhe Muppet Show.

28 00:01:32,266 --> 00:01:35,902 Tonight our special guest is one of the loveliest and most talented ladies

29 00:01:35,966 --> 00:01:38,868 of the entire entertainment world, Cheyl Ladd.

30 00:01:38,933 --> 00:01:40,367 But first, on stage

31 00:01:40,433 --> 00:01:44,336 Miss Piggy and Link Hogthrob in a steamy jungle number.

32 00:01:44,500 --> 00:01:46,969 Many people are returning to the natural life

33 00:01:47,033 --> 00:01:50,536 in search of peace and tranquility. Well, this may change their mind.

34 00:01:59,700 --> 00:02:01,701 [exotic bird calls]

35 00:02:06,466 --> 00:02:10,770

  1. Suntanned windblown

36 00:02:10,833 --> 00:02:14,636

  1. Honeymooners at last alone

37 00:02:14,699 --> 00:02:18,370

  1. feeling

38 00:02:18,433 --> 00:02:22,336 _ far above par

39 00:02:22,400 --> 00:02:26,403

  1. Oh how lucky

40 00:02:26,466 --> 00:02:30,169

  1. We are

41 00:02:30,233 --> 00:02:33,736

  1. While l give to you

42 00:02:33,800 --> 00:02:38,037

  1. And you give to me

43 00:02:39,033 --> 00:02:42,936

  1. True love

44 00:02:43,000 --> 00:02:45,168

  1. True

45 00:02:45,233 --> 00:02:46,233 [grunts]

46 00:02:46,300 --> 00:02:49,970

  1. So on and on

47 00:02:50,033 --> 00:02:54,504

  1. Will it always be

48 00:02:55,300 --> 00:02:58,603

  1. True love

49 00:02:59,199 --> 00:03:02,636

  1. True love

50 00:03:03,000 --> 00:03:04,201 [tempo quickens]

51 00:03:04,266 --> 00:03:07,702

  1. For you and l

have a guardian angel

52 00:03:07,766 --> 00:03:09,367

  1. On high with nothing to...

53 00:03:09,433 --> 00:03:12,302 [all make noises]

54 00:03:12,366 --> 00:03:15,602

  1. But to give to you

as you give to me

55 00:03:15,666 --> 00:03:17,100

  1. Love forever...

56 00:03:17,166 --> 00:03:20,702 [all make noises]

57 00:03:20,766 --> 00:03:24,336 - [tempo slows] - [both] # For you and l

58 00:03:24,400 --> 00:03:28,837

  1. Have a guardian angel

59 00:03:29,300 --> 00:03:30,868

  1. On high

60 00:03:30,933 --> 00:03:35,604

  1. With nothing to do

61 00:03:36,733 --> 00:03:40,036 - # But to give to me - [bird squawks]

62 00:03:40,099 --> 00:03:44,370 - # What l give to you - [all birds calling]

63 00:03:45,533 --> 00:03:49,770 - # Love forever - [all loud noises]

64 00:03:49,833 --> 00:03:51,834 Knock it off!

65 00:03:54,166 --> 00:03:59,004

  1. Love forever

66 00:03:59,366 --> 00:04:03,103 - # True # - [all loud noises]

67 00:04:07,733 --> 00:04:10,268 Me WaldorF, you Statler

68 00:04:10,333 --> 00:04:12,702 No, you WaldorF, me sick.

69 00:04:14,866 --> 00:04:16,601 OK, nicely sung, Piggy.

70 00:04:16,666 --> 00:04:19,301 - Thank you, Kermie. - Yes, nicely sung, chimp.

71 00:04:19,366 --> 00:04:21,334 [iungle call]

72 00:04:22,133 --> 00:04:23,601 [glass breaks]

73 00:04:24,333 --> 00:04:26,435 And nicely swung, Link.

74 00:04:27,699 --> 00:04:29,935 Ah, Rowlf, on stage for your piano piece.

75 00:04:30,433 --> 00:04:32,535 l'm ready. Don't wory. It'll be great.

76 00:04:32,600 --> 00:04:35,235 - Mm-hmm. - It won't be great.

77 00:04:36,033 --> 00:04:39,603 Good, yes, but he plays it too fortissimo.

78 00:04:40,666 --> 00:04:43,235 - Whatever you say. - Uh, Kermit, Kermit, excuse...

79 00:04:43,300 --> 00:04:45,669 Hi. Uh, Kermit, excuse me, but are you busy?

80 00:04:45,733 --> 00:04:48,102 l'm doing that introduction for Cheyl Ladd.

81 00:04:48,166 --> 00:04:52,169 Good. Listen. Uh, l've been, uh, reading a book here on self-improvement.

82 00:04:52,233 --> 00:04:54,268 - Yeah. - And it says, uh, it says, uh,

83 00:04:54,333 --> 00:04:57,836 l should ask my boss, that's you,

84 00:04:58,233 --> 00:05:02,103 uh, to make a list of my good points and my bad points.

85 00:05:02,166 --> 00:05:03,934 Fozzie, you don't want me to do that.

86 00:05:04,000 --> 00:05:08,804 Oh, but Kermit, l do. You see, it will help me to grow into a more mature

87 00:05:08,866 --> 00:05:11,001 and adult bear.

88 00:05:11,300 --> 00:05:13,769 Well, OK, if you really want me to.

89 00:05:13,833 --> 00:05:15,801 Oh, thank you, Kermit. Thank you.

90 00:05:17,300 --> 00:05:20,836 Went pre_ good, Kermit. But l think l played it too fortissimo.

91 00:05:21,733 --> 00:05:23,501 What did l tell you?

92 00:05:24,333 --> 00:05:25,734 Kermit, excuse me. Kermit.

93 00:05:25,800 --> 00:05:27,301 - You know that list? - Yeah.

94 00:05:27,366 --> 00:05:30,635 Well, when you make it, you know, really, really be honest.

95 00:05:31,066 --> 00:05:33,668 OK? But, uh, gentle.

96 00:05:35,866 --> 00:05:38,568 How can you gently run over someone with a truck?

97 00:05:39,766 --> 00:05:41,000 [fanfare]

98 00:05:41,066 --> 00:05:43,301 Ladies and gentlemen, our guest star tonight

99 00:05:43,366 --> 00:05:46,569 is best known for her dazzling perFormances on television.

100 00:05:46,633 --> 00:05:49,235 But acting is only one of the things she does well.

101 00:05:49,300 --> 00:05:51,835 See for yourself. Here she is, Cheyl Ladd!

102 00:06:01,366 --> 00:06:03,768

  1. Do you hear the beat

103 00:06:03,833 --> 00:06:06,035

  1. Away down the street?

104 00:06:06,100 --> 00:06:10,270

  1. Do you hear the neat little rhythm

of the happy dancing feet?

105 00:06:10,333 --> 00:06:12,868

  1. Well now look there

the people are running

106 00:06:12,933 --> 00:06:15,435

  1. And right now

they're gonna have a lot of fun

107 00:06:15,500 --> 00:06:19,570

  1. Make way 'cause eveybody's comin'

and you'll see the big parade

108 00:06:33,133 --> 00:06:35,168

  1. Make room, gimme some air

109 00:06:35,233 --> 00:06:38,836

  1. l got some rhythm to spare

We'll all swing high

110 00:06:38,899 --> 00:06:40,901

  1. Swing low

111 00:06:40,966 --> 00:06:45,603

  1. Eveybody's r_kin' to and fro

112 00:06:45,666 --> 00:06:49,970

  1. It ain't fast or slow

113 00:06:50,033 --> 00:06:52,902

  1. But oh that...

114 00:06:52,966 --> 00:06:54,467 Aah!

115 00:07:13,000 --> 00:07:15,202

  1. They're doing it

soft-shoeing it

116 00:07:15,266 --> 00:07:17,401

  1. They're tying it

untying it

117 00:07:17,466 --> 00:07:19,835

  1. They'rejiving it

reviving it

118 00:07:19,899 --> 00:07:21,501

  1. l tell you

119 00:07:21,566 --> 00:07:24,135

  1. They're strutting it

rug-cutting it

120 00:07:24,199 --> 00:07:26,135

  1. They're shaking it

and breaking it

121 00:07:26,199 --> 00:07:28,135

  1. Dad, not bad

122 00:07:28,199 --> 00:07:30,368

  1. l'm glad you dig

123 00:07:48,833 --> 00:07:51,168

  1. Hear now

124 00:07:52,766 --> 00:07:55,368

  1. It's loud and clear now

125 00:07:57,000 --> 00:07:59,702

  1. l really get a thrill

126 00:07:59,766 --> 00:08:01,934

  1. l know l always will

127 00:08:02,000 --> 00:08:06,237

  1. Whenever l can hear

the rhythm of a band

128 00:08:19,966 --> 00:08:22,368

  1. Louisiana band

gotta get a hand

129 00:08:24,366 --> 00:08:27,936

  1. The South Rampart Street

130 00:08:28,000 --> 00:08:32,738

  1. Parade

131 00:08:33,033 --> 00:08:34,467 Yeah.

132 00:08:37,000 --> 00:08:38,401 [inaudible] Thank you.

133 00:08:42,633 --> 00:08:47,070 OK, Pigs in Space ne_. Set up Pigs in Space.

134 00:08:47,133 --> 00:08:50,736 OK, boy, that was a great number. That Cheyl Ladd is terrific.

135 00:08:50,799 --> 00:08:53,936 Yes, but that trumpet player kept going flat.

136 00:08:54,533 --> 00:08:57,636 lf l remember my histoy, Beethoven was supposed to be deaf.

137 00:08:57,700 --> 00:09:01,670 l'm not Beethoven, dummy. l'm a bust of Beethoven.

138 00:09:01,733 --> 00:09:03,868 - Of course. - It's a job.

139 00:09:03,933 --> 00:09:07,269 You gotta do something for a living and l'm a bust of Beethoven.

140 00:09:07,899 --> 00:09:11,036 - Any more questions? - Uh, no, no, no, no, no, uh, nothing.

141 00:09:11,100 --> 00:09:13,101 - Just forget the... - Kermit, excuse me.

142 00:09:13,166 --> 00:09:14,166 - What? - Excuse me.

143 00:09:14,233 --> 00:09:16,935 Uh, Kermit, uh, have you finished that list, you know,

144 00:09:17,000 --> 00:09:18,968 with my good points and my bad points?

145 00:09:19,033 --> 00:09:21,668 Uh, well, well not yet. l just made a few notes and...

146 00:09:21,733 --> 00:09:23,868 Oh, oh, oh, a few notes, yes. Oh. Let's see.

147 00:09:23,933 --> 00:09:26,535 Um, uh...

148 00:09:26,600 --> 00:09:28,601 Kermit, you're kidding!

149 00:09:28,666 --> 00:09:30,367 You don't really think that l...

150 00:09:30,433 --> 00:09:31,967 Oh, no.

151 00:09:32,033 --> 00:09:34,735 Uh, not that. Kermit. Uh, look at this, look at...

152 00:09:34,799 --> 00:09:36,601 - Yeah, but... - l don't believe this.

153 00:09:36,666 --> 00:09:40,169 OK, sometimes l may be a little b... Oh, Kermit, not this.

154 00:09:40,233 --> 00:09:43,169 Well, uh, uh, uh, Fozzie, l think l better explain.

155 00:09:43,233 --> 00:09:45,435 - No, no. Oh, no. Kermit, it's OK. - You see...

156 00:09:45,500 --> 00:09:49,871 lt's OK. l can understand how you might think that l have these bad points.

157 00:09:49,933 --> 00:09:52,769 Oh, well, a-actually that list is your good points.

158 00:09:57,933 --> 00:10:00,201 l, l, l think l better go get a cup of coffee.

159 00:10:02,333 --> 00:10:07,004 You wanna talk bad points? Let's start with that crummy hat you always wear.

160 00:10:08,966 --> 00:10:10,867 [growls]

161 00:10:11,533 --> 00:10:14,369 [bleeping]

162 00:10:15,899 --> 00:10:17,368 [announcer] And now,

163 00:10:17,433 --> 00:10:22,504 Pigs in Space!

164 00:10:22,966 --> 00:10:24,767 When last we leff the Swinetrek,

165 00:10:24,833 --> 00:10:29,470 Dr. Strangepork was on the verge of completing his mysterious experiment.

166 00:10:30,033 --> 00:10:31,901 Well, Link, this is it.

167 00:10:31,966 --> 00:10:33,934 At last my work is completed

168 00:10:34,000 --> 00:10:36,936 and l can present the universe with this little baby.

169 00:10:37,000 --> 00:10:39,302 - Well, what is it? - It's a pill

170 00:10:39,366 --> 00:10:42,936 - that makes pigs invisible. - Hmm.

171 00:10:43,000 --> 00:10:46,269 What a wonderFul and useful invention. Let's ty it.

172 00:10:46,333 --> 00:10:47,734 Oh, certainly.

173 00:10:50,766 --> 00:10:53,768 - Well, here's looking at you. - But not for long.

174 00:10:56,966 --> 00:10:58,067 [Link] This is weird.

175 00:10:58,133 --> 00:11:00,768 [Doctor] Well, l think it's peachy neat.

176 00:11:00,833 --> 00:11:02,901 [Link] l think l'm gonna have to sit down.

177 00:11:02,966 --> 00:11:04,801 [Link yawns]

178 00:11:04,866 --> 00:11:08,002 Oh, Link, Link, uh, Strangepork. Uh...

179 00:11:10,466 --> 00:11:14,036 Hmm. No one on the bridge. Strange.

180 00:11:14,100 --> 00:11:16,735 - [Doctor giggles] - [Link shushing]

181 00:11:16,799 --> 00:11:18,902 Hello? Link?

182 00:11:18,966 --> 00:11:21,668 Hello? Hmm.

183 00:11:21,733 --> 00:11:23,634 Well, l'll iust use the intercom.

184 00:11:23,700 --> 00:11:25,201 - [Link grunts] - [screams]

185 00:11:25,833 --> 00:11:27,467 Whoo-hoo.

186 00:11:27,533 --> 00:11:30,636 l'd say this chair was due for a spell of leave.

187 00:11:31,966 --> 00:11:34,001 Uh, testing, one, mo, three.

188 00:11:34,066 --> 00:11:35,434 Hogthrob to the bridge.

189 00:11:35,500 --> 00:11:37,001 Hogthrob to...

190 00:11:38,066 --> 00:11:39,567 What the hey?

191 00:11:41,666 --> 00:11:43,768 l know that hit!

192 00:11:44,166 --> 00:11:46,468 - [giggles] - Strangepork!

193 00:11:47,899 --> 00:11:50,569 - Link! - The pills are beginning to wear off.

194 00:11:50,633 --> 00:11:52,468 - Mm-hmm. - Pills? Wait a minute.

195 00:11:52,533 --> 00:11:54,301 A-ha. l get it.

196 00:11:54,366 --> 00:11:57,035 OK, how'd you like a taste of your own medicine?

197 00:11:59,700 --> 00:12:01,501 [laughing]

198 00:12:05,266 --> 00:12:07,668 Uh, w-w-what do you think she's planning?

199 00:12:07,733 --> 00:12:11,169 l don't know, Link, but let's not shtick around to find out!

200 00:12:11,233 --> 00:12:12,367 - Yeah. - [Piggy] Link?

201 00:12:12,433 --> 00:12:13,801 - Huh? - [Piggy] Hi-yah!

202 00:12:13,866 --> 00:12:16,735 - [grunts] - Oh-oh. Too late. We found out.

203 00:12:16,799 --> 00:12:18,268 - [Piggy] Hi-yah! - [grunts]

204 00:12:18,333 --> 00:12:19,934 - [Piggy] Hi-yah! - [grunts]

205 00:12:22,466 --> 00:12:25,035 Oh, smell that county air.

206 00:12:25,100 --> 00:12:27,001 [both smell deeply]

207 00:12:27,133 --> 00:12:31,003 [British accent] Yes, it's a lovely spot for a picnic 'round here.

208 00:12:31,066 --> 00:12:33,635 - It's really nice. - Shh. What's that sound?

209 00:12:33,700 --> 00:12:36,836 [strange mewling]

210 00:12:37,133 --> 00:12:39,935

  1. There's a new sound

the newest sound around

211 00:12:40,000 --> 00:12:42,235

  1. The strangest sound

that you have ever heard

212 00:12:42,299 --> 00:12:45,369

  1. Wot like a wild boar

or ajungle lion's roar

213 00:12:45,433 --> 00:12:47,668

  1. It isn't like the cy of any bird

214 00:12:47,733 --> 00:12:50,635

  1. But there's a new sound

it's deep down in the ground

215 00:12:50,700 --> 00:12:52,835

  1. And eveyone who listens to it squirms

216 00:12:52,899 --> 00:12:55,736

  1. Because this new, new sound

so deep down in the ground

217 00:12:55,799 --> 00:12:58,435

  1. Is the sound that's made by worms

218 00:12:59,500 --> 00:13:02,302 [mewling]

219 00:13:02,366 --> 00:13:05,202

  1. There's a new sound

the newest sound around

220 00:13:05,266 --> 00:13:07,568

  1. The strangest sound

that you have ever heard

221 00:13:07,633 --> 00:13:10,635

  1. Wot like a wild boar

or ajungle lion's roar

222 00:13:10,700 --> 00:13:12,902

  1. It isn't like the cy of any bird

223 00:13:12,966 --> 00:13:15,868

  1. But there's a new sound

it's deep down in the ground

224 00:13:15,933 --> 00:13:18,268

  1. And eveyone who

listens to it squirms

225 00:13:18,333 --> 00:13:21,169

  1. Because this new, new sound

so deep down in the ground

226 00:13:21,233 --> 00:13:23,568

  1. Is the sound that's made by worms

227 00:13:23,633 --> 00:13:25,935 [mewling]

228 00:13:27,733 --> 00:13:30,535

  1. There's a new sound

the newest sound around

229 00:13:30,600 --> 00:13:32,868

  1. The strangest sound

that you have ever heard

230 00:13:32,933 --> 00:13:36,002

  1. Wot like a wild boar

or ajungle lion's roar

231 00:13:36,066 --> 00:13:38,234

  1. It isn't like the cy of any bird

232 00:13:38,299 --> 00:13:41,236

  1. But there's a new sound

it's deep down in the ground

233 00:13:41,299 --> 00:13:43,602

  1. And eveyone who

listens to it squirms

234 00:13:43,666 --> 00:13:46,435

  1. Because this new, new sound

so deep down in the ground

235 00:13:46,500 --> 00:13:49,369

  1. Is the sound that's made by worms

236 00:13:49,433 --> 00:13:52,702 [mewling to the beat]

237 00:13:53,366 --> 00:13:55,835

  1. There's a new sound

the newest sound around

238 00:13:55,899 --> 00:13:58,202

  1. The strangest sound

that you have ever heard

239 00:13:58,266 --> 00:14:01,268

  1. Wot like a wild boar

or ajungle lion's roar

240 00:14:01,333 --> 00:14:03,568

  1. It isn't like the cy of any bird

241 00:14:03,633 --> 00:14:06,502

  1. But there's a new sound

it's deep down in the ground

242 00:14:06,566 --> 00:14:08,801

  1. And eveyone who

listens to it squirms

243 00:14:08,866 --> 00:14:11,668

  1. Because this new, new sound

so deep down in the ground

244 00:14:11,733 --> 00:14:14,135

  1. Is the sound that's made by worms! #

245 00:14:14,200 --> 00:14:16,268 [mewling to the beat]

246 00:14:23,866 --> 00:14:26,268 Excusez-moi, Cheyl. Are you busy?

247 00:14:26,333 --> 00:14:27,701 Oh, no, Miss Piggy. Come in.

248 00:14:27,766 --> 00:14:29,400 Ah, thank you.

249 00:14:29,466 --> 00:14:33,002 Oh, by the way, l borrowed some of your perFume. l hope you don't mind.

250 00:14:33,066 --> 00:14:35,268 [sniffs] Oh, that stums OK.

251 00:14:35,333 --> 00:14:39,236 Oh. l'm glad you came in, there was something l wanted to talk to you about.

252 00:14:39,299 --> 00:14:40,801 Oh? Tell me. Yes?

253 00:14:40,866 --> 00:14:43,068 - Oh. - No, go ahead.

254 00:14:43,133 --> 00:14:47,036 - Oh, come on. - l am really a big fan ofyours.

255 00:14:47,100 --> 00:14:48,768 Of course.

256 00:14:48,833 --> 00:14:51,468 Although l, l am a bit surprised.

257 00:14:51,533 --> 00:14:55,737 You see, most women are insanely jealous of me.

258 00:14:55,799 --> 00:14:59,537 Oh. Well, l can understand that. You certainly are a threat.

259 00:14:59,600 --> 00:15:00,968 Mm-hmm.

260 00:15:01,033 --> 00:15:03,502 Beauty can be a curse.

261 00:15:05,033 --> 00:15:07,969 Would you like to know what l admire most about you?

262 00:15:08,033 --> 00:15:11,970 Well... [clears throat] l, uh, l'd like to guess.

263 00:15:12,033 --> 00:15:14,668 Um, my big blue eyes?

264 00:15:15,233 --> 00:15:17,868 My beautiful blonde hair?

265 00:15:18,033 --> 00:15:21,970 - My sylph-like figure? - Nope, your chops.

266 00:15:23,766 --> 00:15:27,069 - What? - Your chops. Your karate chops.

267 00:15:27,133 --> 00:15:29,735 Oh, yeah, oh, a-ha like that. Oh, yes, of course.

268 00:15:29,799 --> 00:15:32,068 You're really super. l've seen you in action.

269 00:15:32,133 --> 00:15:35,236 Well, l've seen you deck a few baddies yourself.

270 00:15:35,299 --> 00:15:37,301 - We have to protect ourselves. - Mm-hmm.

271 00:15:37,366 --> 00:15:39,568 - We are just helpless girls. - Mm-hmm.

272 00:15:39,633 --> 00:15:41,234 - Ready? - Ready.

273 00:15:45,866 --> 00:15:49,769

  1. l'm a girl and by me

that's only great

274 00:15:49,833 --> 00:15:53,536

  1. l am proud that

my silhouette is curvy

275 00:15:53,600 --> 00:15:57,570

  1. l walk with a

sweet and girlish gait

276 00:15:57,633 --> 00:16:01,036

  1. With my hips

kinda swivelly and swervey

277 00:16:01,633 --> 00:16:05,670

  1. l adore being dressed

in something frilly

278 00:16:05,733 --> 00:16:09,736

  1. When my date comes

to get me at my place

279 00:16:09,799 --> 00:16:13,904

  1. Out l go with my Joe

or John or Billy

280 00:16:13,966 --> 00:16:18,136

  1. Like a filly

who is readyforthe race

281 00:16:18,666 --> 00:16:19,666 Mmm.

282 00:16:19,733 --> 00:16:22,202 Oh, oh. This is the dummy l practice on.

283 00:16:22,266 --> 00:16:23,767 Oh, Cheyl, how sweet.

284 00:16:23,833 --> 00:16:26,502 l have a dummy too. Kermie!

285 00:16:28,266 --> 00:16:29,634 Yeah? Wh-What do you want?

286 00:16:29,700 --> 00:16:32,502 - Now, sweetie, just trust me. - Yeah?

287 00:16:32,566 --> 00:16:34,734 - Ready? - Right. [Piggy clears throat]

288 00:16:34,799 --> 00:16:38,837

  1. When l have a brand new hairdo

Hah!

289 00:16:38,899 --> 00:16:42,770

  1. With my eyelashes all in curls

290 00:16:42,833 --> 00:16:46,469

  1. l float like the clouds on airdo

291 00:16:46,533 --> 00:16:50,603

  1. l enjoy being a girl

292 00:16:50,666 --> 00:16:54,603

  1. When men say l'm cute and funny

Hi-yah!

293 00:16:54,666 --> 00:16:58,403

  1. And my teeth aren't teeth

but pearls

294 00:16:58,466 --> 00:17:01,101

  1. Ijust lap it up like

Ahh!

295 00:17:01,166 --> 00:17:02,233 - [screams] - # Honey

296 00:17:02,299 --> 00:17:05,836

  1. l enjoy being a girl

297 00:17:06,266 --> 00:17:10,203

  1. l flip when a fellow sends me flowers

298 00:17:10,266 --> 00:17:13,135 - # l drool over dresses made of lace - [yells]

299 00:17:14,166 --> 00:17:17,669

  1. l talk on the telephone for hours

300 00:17:17,733 --> 00:17:20,735

  1. With a pound and a half of cream

upon his face

301 00:17:20,799 --> 00:17:22,535 What? Ahh!

302 00:17:22,599 --> 00:17:27,004 - [Piggy] All right! - # l'm strictly a female female

303 00:17:27,066 --> 00:17:30,436 Yeah!

  1. And my future l hope will be

304 00:17:30,500 --> 00:17:31,500 Ha-ha!

305 00:17:31,566 --> 00:17:34,936 rbothJ # In the home of a brave and free male

306 00:17:35,000 --> 00:17:38,837

  1. Who'll enjoy being a guy

307 00:17:38,900 --> 00:17:42,403

  1. Having a girl

308 00:17:43,266 --> 00:17:47,236

  1. Like me #

309 00:17:51,733 --> 00:17:53,501 [grunts, smacks lips]

310 00:17:53,566 --> 00:17:55,167 Huh, lemon meringue.

311 00:17:55,233 --> 00:17:58,269 OK, Gonzo, stand by for your hypnotism act.

312 00:17:58,333 --> 00:18:00,868 Chickens, what are you doing here? Shoo, shoo!

313 00:18:00,933 --> 00:18:02,501 - Kermit! Kermit! - Shoo! What?

314 00:18:02,566 --> 00:18:03,667 - Careful! - What?

315 00:18:03,733 --> 00:18:06,102 Those chickens are hypnotized.

316 00:18:06,666 --> 00:18:10,970 - Hypnotized chickens? - Yes. They're in my power.

317 00:18:12,633 --> 00:18:14,301 Gonzo.

318 00:18:14,366 --> 00:18:17,035 - l, l don't believe this. - Oh, sure.

319 00:18:17,099 --> 00:18:21,404 See, l hypnotize 'em and then l can get 'em to do anything l want.

320 00:18:21,466 --> 00:18:22,900 Oh, like what?

321 00:18:22,966 --> 00:18:25,968 Animal impressions: puppy dog.

322 00:18:26,033 --> 00:18:29,403 [all] Bark-bark. Bark-bark. Bark-bark.

323 00:18:29,466 --> 00:18:31,067 Uh, Gonzo, that is terrible.

324 00:18:31,133 --> 00:18:34,102 l'm not even gonna introduce you for a crummy act like that.

325 00:18:34,933 --> 00:18:38,636 - Sic him. - [all] Bow-wow, bow-wow.

326 00:18:38,700 --> 00:18:41,969 - [Kermit yelling] - Down, girl.

327 00:18:42,033 --> 00:18:44,568 OK, OK, OK, OK, l'll introduce him.

328 00:18:44,633 --> 00:18:45,867 Meow.

329 00:18:45,933 --> 00:18:49,002 Uh. Oh, any how, here he is, Iadies and gentlemen.

330 00:18:49,066 --> 00:18:52,602 Uh, your own and you're welcome to him, Gonzo the Great!

331 00:18:52,666 --> 00:18:54,801 - [band plays] - Off, off, off, off.

332 00:18:56,966 --> 00:18:59,401 - [single person claps] - Thank you, thank you.

333 00:19:00,833 --> 00:19:03,268 , And now, students of the occult

334 00:19:03,333 --> 00:19:06,469 l shall demonstrate my amazing

335 00:19:06,533 --> 00:19:08,401 powers of hypnosis.

336 00:19:08,466 --> 00:19:11,902 l shall place a member of the audience in a trance

337 00:19:11,966 --> 00:19:16,603 aided only by the mysterious strength of hypnotic suggestion,

338 00:19:16,666 --> 00:19:20,336 my subject will support, with only one hand,

339 00:19:20,400 --> 00:19:23,770 this 5,OOO pound weight.

340 00:19:24,700 --> 00:19:27,803 Who will be the first lucky volunteer?

341 00:19:31,200 --> 00:19:34,069 Well, it's just a question of mind over matter.

342 00:19:34,133 --> 00:19:36,869 That's right! You don't mind and we don't matter.

343 00:19:38,166 --> 00:19:40,067 You'll live to regret this!

344 00:19:40,133 --> 00:19:42,068 We intend to!

345 00:19:42,833 --> 00:19:45,502 l iust don't understand you people!

346 00:19:45,566 --> 00:19:48,502 lmmortality is up for grabs!

347 00:19:50,200 --> 00:19:52,368 But you don't deserve it.

348 00:19:52,433 --> 00:19:54,034 No, but you do.

349 00:19:54,099 --> 00:19:55,301 [both laugh]

350 00:19:55,366 --> 00:19:57,534 What a terrific idea!

351 00:19:57,599 --> 00:19:59,802 l'll hypnotize myself.

352 00:19:59,866 --> 00:20:01,767 l'll go down in histoy!

353 00:20:01,833 --> 00:20:03,267 [clears throat]

354 00:20:03,333 --> 00:20:06,436 - [drumroll] - Look deep into my eyes.

355 00:20:07,900 --> 00:20:10,535 Make my mind a complete blank.

356 00:20:10,599 --> 00:20:12,969 My eyelids are getting heavy.

357 00:20:14,200 --> 00:20:17,136 l am falling into my power.

358 00:20:17,200 --> 00:20:21,404 When l count three l will have the strength of an army.

359 00:20:21,466 --> 00:20:24,969 One, mo, three.

360 00:20:25,033 --> 00:20:26,868 [cymbals]

361 00:20:33,566 --> 00:20:36,268 - [drumroll] - Release the ropes!

362 00:20:40,566 --> 00:20:43,368 That's vey impressive. But how do you get out of it?

363 00:20:43,433 --> 00:20:47,036 lt's simple. l iust snap my fingers.

364 00:20:51,200 --> 00:20:53,135 [grunting]

365 00:20:55,433 --> 00:20:58,435 Hey, Kermit! It went terrific!

366 00:20:59,900 --> 00:21:03,336 He says it went terrific, but l know how he really feels.

367 00:21:03,400 --> 00:21:06,302 - How's that? - About so high.

368 00:21:06,366 --> 00:21:10,536 - So high. - OK, that was a, uh, nice one, Gonzo.

369 00:21:10,599 --> 00:21:12,668 lt was a triumph.

370 00:21:12,733 --> 00:21:14,835 l don't know where you find these acts to do.

371 00:21:14,900 --> 00:21:17,402 Oh, l iust keep my ear to the ground.

372 00:21:18,366 --> 00:21:19,900 lt looks like it.

373 00:21:21,366 --> 00:21:23,101 Uh, you will all be happy to know

374 00:21:23,166 --> 00:21:25,601 that Gonzo did survive that last act

375 00:21:25,666 --> 00:21:28,735 and is about to embark on a new career as a lump.

376 00:21:29,633 --> 00:21:32,969 But now it's time for our closing number. Are we ready back there?

377 00:21:33,033 --> 00:21:34,934 [Pig] Who wants to know?

378 00:21:35,000 --> 00:21:37,669 - l do! - Oh, oh, oh, yeah, sory, boss.

379 00:21:37,733 --> 00:21:41,203 Uh. Uh, ladies and gentlemen, the wonderFul Miss Cheyl Ladd!

380 00:21:48,333 --> 00:21:50,435

  1. Sunshine

381 00:21:50,500 --> 00:21:53,236

  1. On my shoulders

382 00:21:53,299 --> 00:21:56,836

  1. Makes me happy

383 00:21:59,366 --> 00:22:01,468

  1. Sunshine

384 00:22:01,533 --> 00:22:03,034

  1. In my eyes

385 00:22:03,099 --> 00:22:07,671

  1. Can make me cy

386 00:22:10,466 --> 00:22:12,668

  1. Sunshine

387 00:22:12,733 --> 00:22:15,469

  1. On the water

388 00:22:15,533 --> 00:22:19,236

  1. Looks so lovely

389 00:22:21,566 --> 00:22:23,768

  1. Sunshine

390 00:22:23,833 --> 00:22:26,268

  1. Almost always

391 00:22:26,333 --> 00:22:30,236

  1. Makes me high

392 00:22:33,033 --> 00:22:37,637 - # Ifl had a day - [animals] # Ooh

393 00:22:37,700 --> 00:22:40,803

  1. That l could give you

394 00:22:40,866 --> 00:22:43,802 [animals] # Ooh ooh ooh

395 00:22:43,866 --> 00:22:46,568

  1. l'd give to you

396 00:22:46,633 --> 00:22:51,304

  1. A dayjust like today

397 00:22:51,366 --> 00:22:54,368

  1. Ooh ooh

398 00:22:55,133 --> 00:22:59,070

  1. And if l had a song

399 00:22:59,133 --> 00:23:03,804 - # Ooh ooh ooh - # That l could sing for you

400 00:23:06,533 --> 00:23:09,102

  1. l'd sing a song

401 00:23:09,166 --> 00:23:14,571 - # To make you feel this way - # Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh

402 00:23:17,733 --> 00:23:19,968

  1. Sunshine

403 00:23:20,033 --> 00:23:23,002

  1. On my shoulders

404 00:23:23,066 --> 00:23:26,235

  1. Makes me happy

405 00:23:28,900 --> 00:23:31,135 [Muppets] # Sunshine

406 00:23:31,200 --> 00:23:33,735

  1. In my eyes

407 00:23:33,799 --> 00:23:39,305

  1. Can make me cy

408 00:23:40,066 --> 00:23:42,301

  1. Sunshine

409 00:23:42,366 --> 00:23:45,001

  1. On the water

410 00:23:45,066 --> 00:23:49,970

  1. Looks so lovely

411 00:23:51,466 --> 00:23:53,601 [all] # Sunshine

412 00:23:53,666 --> 00:23:56,769

  1. Almost always

413 00:23:56,833 --> 00:24:02,772

  1. Makes me high #

414 00:24:11,966 --> 00:24:14,601 lt looks like we've come down to the end of another one.

415 00:24:14,666 --> 00:24:19,003 But, before we go, let us have a warm thank you for our vey special guest,

416 00:24:19,066 --> 00:24:22,068 - Miss Cheyl Ladd. - [Muppets cheer]

417 00:24:22,133 --> 00:24:23,968 [applause]

418 00:24:28,033 --> 00:24:30,168 Kermit, l just wanted to tell you thank you.

419 00:24:30,233 --> 00:24:32,602 l have had so much fun working with the Muppets.

420 00:24:32,666 --> 00:24:35,035 l wanna thank each of you. Starting from the top.

421 00:24:35,099 --> 00:24:38,102 Oh, no. That means l'm last.

422 00:24:38,733 --> 00:24:41,368 Uh, hey, Gonzo, don't be such a baby. Grow up.

423 00:24:41,733 --> 00:24:43,601 l'm tying, l'm tying.

424 00:24:44,400 --> 00:24:47,102 OK, we'll, we'll see you next time on The Muppet Show!

425 00:24:47,966 --> 00:24:50,034 lt was really great to have you here.

426 00:24:50,099 --> 00:24:54,270 [chatter]

427 00:25:23,700 --> 00:25:27,170 - [drumroll] - Well, let's go while the going's good.

428 00:25:27,233 --> 00:25:29,668 Well, l'm glad something's good tonight.

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