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In the canteen, Rowlf accompanies Piggy as she rehearses in the key of F.
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Miss Piggy
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Ahem. Heav— ahem. HEA— ahem. HEAV— Rowlfy?
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Rowlf
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Yeah?
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Miss Piggy
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Rowlfy, that's too high.
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Rowlf
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Oh, okay. Try this one.
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Rowlf plays in the key of D.
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Miss Piggy
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Heaven … (hums) That's good, Rowlf. That's very nice. … What key is that?
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Rowlf
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That - that's the little black one under my finger. (continues playing)
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Miss Piggy
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Rowlfy, Rowlfy, now — now, we must do this absolutely right. Mr. Danny Kaye has asked especially to sing this song avec moi.
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Danny
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(comes downstairs) Miss Piggy? Miss Piggy! Well, well, well. Hello, there, Piggy. How are you?
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Miss Piggy
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Oh! Oh! Mr. Kaye. Can I call you Danny? Oh, Danny …
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Danny
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I couldn't wait to get here to work with you because I have wanted to do this for a very long time.
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Miss Piggy
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Danny, Daniel — I wanted to do it with you.
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Danny
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No, I wanted to do it with you …
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They start coochie-cooing.
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Miss Piggy
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Tell me...
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Danny
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Yes?
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Miss Piggy
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Why is it that vous wanted to do this particular song avec moi?
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Danny
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Well, there's a very good reason for that. You see, Piggy, dear …
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Miss Piggy
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Mm-hm?
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Danny
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Some, uh — I heard you sing this song once before. (she rubs his chest) Thank you. Oh, that's nice. Some time ago I heard you sing this song and I thought the way you did it was absolutely memorable.
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Miss Piggy
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That's funny. I don't remember that.
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Danny
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Oh, well, that was years and years and years ago.
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Miss Piggy
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Oh?
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Danny
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(looks nervous) I — I think I said something wrong. What I meant was, way back when you were, uh, thin. Oh no …
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Miss Piggy
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Ahem. I see. Ha ha. Way back then, huh? Mm-hm. When uh, you had your nose done. Ahem. (flips her hair)
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Danny
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(mocks her) Oh, yes, I had it made a little larger.
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They laugh mockingly at each other.
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Rowlf
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Hey, listen, are you guys gonna rehearse this song? And we wanna talk about it.
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Danny
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Yeah, we're gonna do it.
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Miss Piggy
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Yeah, yeah, all right.
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Danny
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Piggy, dear, why — why don't you practice the song and I'll go and change my clothes, huh?
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Miss Piggy
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Oh, Daniel dear, yes, a true professional doesn't need to rehearse.
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Danny
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Well, in that case, I shall go and practice changing my clothes.
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She growls at him. He growls back.
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Scooter
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Stand by for "Cheek to Cheek".
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Danny
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(goes upstairs) Well, yeah …
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Miss Piggy
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Oh, oh, yes …
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Danny
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I'll see you on the, uh…
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Miss Piggy
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Battlefield!
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Danny
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You're beautiful when you're angry.
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Miss Piggy
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(growls at him)
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Rowlf
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Years and years ago when you were thin, huh? (laughs)
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She tries to karate-chop him, but he ducks and she hits the piano instead.
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Miss Piggy
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Hi-YAH!
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Kermit
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(through the intercom) Okay, "Cheek to Cheek" is up next, "Cheek to Cheek".
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Scooter
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Right! Hey, Beauregard, get the scenery in.
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Danny
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Piggy, we're on in a minute! Let's go, Piggy.
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Miss Piggy
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I'll be there!
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Fozzie and Beau wheel the scenery onstage.
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Fozzie
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Not so fast. Whoa, whoa!
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Scooter
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Watch it, Beau!!
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Kermit
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Uh — okay, right on stage with that, guys.
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Scooter
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Yes, sir, yes, sir, yes, sir.
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Miss Piggy
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Uh, Nigel. (shoves him)
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Scooter
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The scenery's ready!
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Kermit
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Okay, you guys all set?
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Scooter and Piggy stammer.
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