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Episode 314: Harry Belafonte/transcript

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Cold open

Theme

Opening number

Backstage

"Tea for Two"

Pigs in Space

UK spot

Animal's drum battle

Backstage

Muppet Sports

"Turn the World Around"

Goodnights


Harry Belafonte. Thirty seconds to curtain, Mr. Belafonte.

Thank you, Scooter.

Say, is everything all right?

Oh, yeah, everything's OK. Except I haven't done the show yet and somebody started to put me down.

No! What do you mean?

Just now I heard somebody outside my door say, Don't go inside that dressing room. Crazy Harry's in there.

They didn't mean you. You see, Crazy Harry's a...

Crazy Harry!

[drum roll]

It's The Muppet Show with our very special guest star, Harry Belafonte! Yaaaay!

  1. It's time to play the music
  1. It's time to light the light
  1. It's time to meet the Muppets

on The Muppet Show tonight

  1. It's time to put on makeup
  1. It's time to dress up right
  1. It's time to get things started
  1. Why don't you get things started

I've seen enough. Let's leave.

  1. It's time to get things started
  1. On the most sensational, inspirational

Celebrational, Muppetational

  1. This is what we call

The Muppet Show #

Uh... Thank you, thank you. Fozzie, this is not going to work.

Just Tead off the page, frog.

Um...

Leggies and genglefins... Leggies and genglefins? Let's see. Leggies and genglefins.

All right. So my typing is bad.

Leggies and genglefins, welcun again tie the Mupple Shocks. Uh... My name is Kermit the Forg. The Forg?

Come on, pick up the pace.

Here we go. And our special guest star is the amazing Harry Bela... That's Harry Belafonte, folks.

Kermit, your timing must be off. You should be getting big laughs with that stuff.

Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Harry Belafonte!

[# Banana Boat Song]

  1. Day-oh
  1. Day-oh
  1. Daylight come and me wanna go home
  1. Day
  1. Me say day, me say day, me say day

me say day, me say day-ay-oh

  1. Daylight come and me wanna go home

That was beautiful.

Thank you very much, but I'm not finished yet.

Yeah, but boy, that was terrific. I bet you must have sang that song a bunch of times on TV, huh?

No, no, as a matter of fact, this is the first time.

This here on The Muppet Show is the very first time you sang this... very first time.

It's very special to me.

You bet it is, and to us, too.

I'll tell you what.

We're gonna do it up Teally perfect. Hey, pigs. Pigs, come on in. This is your pig chorus.

I'll take care of everything else. Don't worry. This is gonna be gTeat.

Are you sure?

Trust me.

  1. Work all night on a drink of rum
  1. Daylight come and me wanna go home
  1. Stack banana till the morning come
  1. Daylight come and me wanna go home
  1. Come mister tally man,

tally me banana

  1. Daylight come and me wanna go home
  1. Come

Excuse me. I'm sorry. Excuse me.

Uh, what is a tally man?

What is what?

A tally man.

You sang tally man. What's that?

Well... well, he's the boss. The tally man is the guy who counts the bananas as they go into the ship. Without him there's no work.

He's a very important man.

Ahh! Could I be a tally man?

Sure.

Oh, yeah? Well, terrific.

OK, here I am, the tally man, or the tally bear. Ahh!

OK, we got the tally bear, the boat, the chorus with the pigs and the parrot.

Uh, OK, keep singing.

This is gonna be gTeat.

You sure we have everything?

Sure.

How about the bananas?

The what?

Bananas. We need bananas.

It's the Banana Boat Song.

We have to have bananas.

Good thinking.

I got just the man. Beauregard.

Yes?

Come here.

You got a job.

Get bananas for this song.

OK.

OK.

Go ahead.

This is just gonna be gTeat.

He's gonna get the bananas?

He's gonna get the bananas and the song's gonna be wonderful.

Are you sure?

Trust me.

It's what you said the last time.

  1. Come mister tally man,

tally me banana

  1. Daylight come and me wanna go home
  1. Come mister tally man,

tally me banana

I never told you onions.

Get bananas.

  1. Daylight come and me wanna go home
  1. Lift six and seven

and eight and bunch

  1. Daylight come and me wanna go home
  1. Six and seven and eight and bunch

I don't know what those are.

Bananas. They're yellow.

  1. Daylight come and me wanna go home

Keep singing.

  1. Day
  1. Me say day-oh
  1. Daylight come and me wanna go home
  1. Day

Me say day-oh

  1. Daylight come and me wanna go home

Stop that.

They're pineapples.

  1. A beautiful bunch of ripe banana

Don't you know what bananas are?

  1. Daylight come and me wanna go home

Don't you understand?

  1. Hide the deadly black tarantula
  1. Daylight come and me wanna go home

No, no, no.

I don't work with the deadly tarantula.

I do all my own...

Fellas, please.

Wait, wait, wait.

Fellas, please.

Oh, come on. Wait a minute, please.

Don't worry about the tarantula.

Don't worry about the pineapples

and the onions.

This is the first time I'm doing this

song on TV and l'd like to get it right.

l'd like it to look good

for all the people.

Help me out. Let's pull together, OK?

OK, right, yeah.

Everybody Teady, OK?

Just watch me, OK? It'll work.

You Teally think it'll work?

Trust me.

  1. I lift six and seven

and eight and bunch

  1. Daylight come and me wanna go home
  1. Six and seven and eight and bunch
  1. Daylight come and me wanna go home
  1. Come, mister tally man,

tally me banana

  1. Daylight come and me wanna go home
  1. Come, mister tally man

and tally me banana

  1. Daylight come and me wanna go home
  1. Day-oh
  1. Day-oh
  1. Day-ay-ay-oh
  1. Day-ay-ay-oh
  1. Daylight come and me wanna go home
  1. Daylight come and me wanna go home
  1. Day
  1. Day

Once again, please.

  1. Day
  1. Day

Can we do it all together?

Yes, sir, I'm sorry.

Here we go.

  1. Day
  1. Day

All right.

  1. Me say day, me say day, me say day

me say day, me say day-ay-ay-oh

  1. Me say day, me say day, me say day...

How many is that?

Seven of 'em, I think.

  1. Me say day-oh

[grunts]

  1. Daylight come

and me wanna go home #

That Banana Boat's

a wonderful number.

Yeah, and look what they did to it.

I have a good mind to go home.

If you had a good mind you wouldn't

be here in the first place.

[laughing]

OK, nice number, nice number.

We got breakfast in the kitchen.

Hey, Kermit, I always thought

these was peaches.

Oh, boy.

Hey, watch out, Kermit.

Beauregard, watch out.

Let's see.

Where was I here?

Rowlf and Lew Zeeland on stage

for the musical moment.

That's it, the musical moment.

[typing]

Fozzie, what are you doing

with this typewriter on my table?

Kermit, I am writing the script

for this week's show.

But what makes you think

the show needs a script?

Oh, Kermit, come on.

Every show has a script.

Yeah, that way you leave

nothing to chance.

Hey, guys, guys, hey, hey, hey.

Here is the musical moment

for this week.

Uh... Curtains open.

Lew Zeeland and Rowlf

do something funny.

Curtains close.

Go get 'em!

You leave nothing to chance, huh?

Trust me.

Do you know Tea for Two?

Tea for Two? I know it backwards.

Oh, good, 'cause that's the way

we want to hear it.

Good, 'cause that's the way

I'm gonna sing it.

  1. Owt rofaet
  1. And aet rofom
  1. Uoy rof em
  1. And em rof uoy
  1. Ees uoy tnac
  1. Eewepaah wow

Tead eeb #

Much very you thank.

Mine was pleasure the.

[announcer] Wow time once again

for Pigs in Space.

What's old stupid doing?

I'm not doing a thing.

Well, he answers when called.

[clears throat] Not you, stupid, dear,

the stupid on the end.

Oh, yes, I'm perfecting

my dissolve-atron.

Ooh, what is that?

What does it do?

It does this.

[buzzing]

[chuckling] And it does this.

[buzzing]

Oh, what?

Hey, you!

What a wonderful trick.

Do that again.

Hm?

Ahh.

It's very simple, Link.

You see, this ray dissolves

anything I point it at.

[buzzing]

Watch it!

There. And then

it will undissolve you this way.

And there you are.

[Link's voice]

Exactly as we were before.

[Piggy's voice]

Uh, maybe not exactly.

This is terrible.

I can't live my life being you.

Ha! You think you got troubles!

Well, of course,

I am kind of cute this way.

Hey, watch it, watch it.

Don't you dare touch you!

Strangepork, this is all your fault.

What do you have to say for yourself?

[Janice's voice]

Ew. This is a bummer.

I mean, Teally.

[Strangepork's voice] Something

has gone wrong with my dissolve-aton.

This is not my scene.

Oh, Kermie. Kermie! Help!

Where are you, Kermie?

[Swedish CheFs voice]

Kermie!

[Kermit's voice] That does it.

The sketch is cancelled.

Kill the lights.

Strike the sceney. Curtain!

[playing bluesy music]

[buzzing]

[buzzing echoing]

[horn muted]

[buzzing continues]

[spitting]

[applause]

Ha, ha, ha!

Ha!

[scTeaming]

[scTeaming]

Oh, no.

Oh, no!

Oh! This is so embarrassing.

[straining]

I wonder if this ever happened

to Neil Simon.

Oh, boy.

Hey, Fozzie.

Oh! Hi. Hi, Rowlf.

How's it going?

Oh, well, gosh, l...

l, uh... l, uh...

Um...

You're stuck, huh?

Yeah.

Well.

Listen, it happens to all writers.

This does?

Sure.

It's what's called writer's block.

Oh! Oh, oh, oh, yeah.

Where you can't come up with

the next line.

Yes, I can't come up with the next line.

Maybe I can help.

Let me see what you last wrote here.

[scTeaming]

Hello, sports fans.

Lewis Kazagger bringing you

the wild world of Muppet sports.

You join us today for the start

of the OO meter blindfold sprint.

And the finalists are on their marks.

And they can't see a thing.

Not even the starting flag.

So, we'll ty the pistol.

And there they go.

And there and there and over there.

Yes, number zero knocked down

by number mo. He's up again.

Number seven looking like

a man of action.

Number zero knocked down again,

this time by number six.

Zero off to the side, six is off.

Here comes mo looking very far back,

but number seven is quite good.

I think he's found it.

I think he's found the finish mark.

Here they come, ladies and gentlemen!

And we have a winner!

[cheering]

And we need a stretcher!

Uh, uh, back to the regular program.

I think that number raises

a pertinent question.

What's that?

Why did they do it?

[laughing]

How's the writing going, Fozz?

Oh, boy, I didn't know

it would be that tough, Harry.

But you know.

You write a lot of stuff.

No, not Teally.

No, well, I write songs.

Yeah, they're terrific. How do you

get ideas for all those songs?

They don't come easily.

You have to get inspired.

Like the song we're gonna do next.

Uh-huh.

I discovered that song in Africa.

I was in a county called Guinea.

I went deep into the interior

of the county

and in a little village

I met with a stomeller.

That stomeller went way back

into African traditions

and African mythology

and began to tell this stoy

about the fire, which means the sun,

and about the water,

about the earth.

He pointed out that all of these things

together turn the world around.

And that all of us are here

for a very, very short time.

ln that time that we're here

there Teally isn't any difference

in any of us,

if we were to take time out

to understand each other.

And the question is,

do I know who you are,

do you know who I am,

do we care about each other?

'Cause if we do,

together we can turn the world around.

[# Turn the World Around]

  1. We come from the fire

Living in the fire

  1. Go back to the fire

Turn the world around

  1. We come from the fire
  1. Go back to the fire
  1. Turn the world around
  1. We come from the fire

Living in the fire

  1. Go back to the fire

Turn the world around

  1. We come from the water

Living in the water

  1. Go back to the water

Turn the world around

  1. We come from the water

Living in the water

  1. Go back to the water

Turn the world around

  1. We come from the water

Living in the water

  1. Go back to the water

Turn the world around

  1. We come from the mountain

Living on the mountain

  1. Go back to the mountain

Turn the world around

  1. We come from the mountain

Living on the mountain

  1. Go back to the mountain

Turn the world around

  1. We come from the mountain

Living on the mountain

  1. Go back to the mountain

Turn the world around

  1. Whoa-oh

So is life

  1. Ah-ha

So is life

  1. Whoa-ho

So is life

  1. Ah-ha

So is life

  1. Do you know who I am?
  1. Do I know who you are?
  1. See we one another clearly
  1. Do we know who we are?
  1. Do you know who I am?

Do I know who you are?

  1. See we one other clearly

Do we know who we are?

  1. Do you know who I am?

Do I know who you are?

  1. See we one another clearly

Do we know who we are?

  1. Whoa-ho

So is life

  1. A bat tee wah ha

So is life

  1. Whoa-ho

So is life

  1. A bat tee wah ha

So is life

  1. Water make the river

River wash the mountain

  1. Fire make the sunlight

Turn the world around

  1. Heart is of the river

Body is the mountain

  1. Spirit is the sunlight

Turn the world around

  1. We are ofthe spirit

Truly ofthe spirit

  1. Only can the spirit

turn the world around

  1. We are ofthe spirit

Truly ofthe spirit

  1. Only can the spirit

turn the world around

  1. Do you know who I am?
  1. Do I know who you are?
  1. See we one another clearly
  1. Do we know who we are?
  1. Do you know who I am?

Do I know who you are?

  1. See we one another clearly

Do we know who we are?

  1. Do you know who I am?
  1. Do I know who you are?
  1. See we one another clearly
  1. Do we know who we are?
  1. Whoa-ho

So is life

  1. A ba tee wah ha

So is life

  1. Whoa-oh

So is life

  1. A ba tee wah ha

So is life

  1. Whoa-ho

So is life

  1. A ba tee wah ha

So is life

  1. Whoa-ho

So is life

  1. A ba tee wah ha

So is life

  1. Whoa-ho

So is life

  1. A ba tee wah ha

So is life

  1. Whoa-ho

So is life

  1. A ba tee wah ha

So is life

It's been such a gTeat show that

we can hardly bring ourselves to end it.

And we all know

who we have to thank for that.

The scriptwriter!

No, no, the guest star.

And so, thank you from all of us,

Mr. Harry Belafonte!

This is the gTeatest group of singers

I've ever worked with, to the Muppets.

Night, all.

See you next time on The Muppet Show!

  1. Whoa-ho

So is life

  1. A ba tee wah ha

So is life

  1. Whoa-ho

So is life

  1. A ba tee wah ha

So is life

  1. Whoa-ho

So is life

  1. A ba tee wah ha

So is life

  1. Whoa-ho

So is life

  1. A ba tee wah ha

So is life

  1. Whoa-ho

So is life

  1. A ba tee wah ha

So is life

  1. Whoa-ho

So is life

  1. A ba tee wah ha

So is life

  1. Oh-ho

So is life

  1. A ba tee wah ha #

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