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Episode 303: Roy Clark

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The Muppet Show
Guest Starring Roy Clark
Production Dates Feb 28 – March 2, 1978
Home Video Season 3
Royclark1

Fozzie Bear hears Kermit say the show is "going country" with guest Roy Clark, so he sends all the stagehands out to the country. Furious, Kermit makes Fozzie do all their work -- shift the scenery, open the curtains -- and if anything goes wrong, Fozzie will be fired. Moments later, the theater catches on fire. Fozzie organizes a bucket brigade, and when Kermit demands an explanation, Fozzie gets the Swedish Chef to explain. He also must make a quick patchwork after Gonzo makes a hole on stage before the closing number.

Songs/Sketches

Episode

Picture Description
303 cold open
Cold Open: Guest star Roy Clark is all dressed up in a cowboy outfit, but he's looking for a pair of chaps to finish the outfit. A pair of British chaps drop by in response.

Note: One of these chaps was built using part of the Statler puppet.

303 kill the light

303 horn
"The Muppet Show Theme": Scooter calls for somebody to kill a light. Gunfire is heard and the light drops from the ceiling.

Gonzo blows a party favor through his horn.
303 intro
Kermit introduces the show, stating that the show is going country. Fozzie shows up, all ready to head out to the country. He is soon followed by Scooter, who comes to tell Kermit that all of the stagehands are missing. Fozzie sent them all to the country! Kermit yells at Fozzie, saying that the show is staying at the Theater, and that now Fozzie is the one who will have to shift the scenery.
303 rocky top

303 do what
Roy Clark performs "Rocky Top," at first with members of Lubbock Lou and his Jughuggers, but gradually the band is replaced with clones of himself.

After the number, Waldorf can't help but wonder how they did that. Statler shows him.
303 fozzie fired
Backstage, Kermit yells at Fozzie for sending all the stagehands away. He tells Fozzie that if anything else goes wrong, he is going to fire the bear! Fozzie tries to reason, figuring "What could go wrong?" It is then that Scooter informs him that the theater is on fire.
Swedishchef303
The Swedish Chef tries to prepare dough, but the dough comes to life! As the Chef tries to roll out the dough, it grabs the rolling pin from the Chef and attacks him with it.
303 jet exhaust
Backstage, Kermit catches Fozzie calling out to everyone "Fire!" Fozzie tries to explain that he was only hoping that nothing else goes wrong, for fear he'd get fired. Kermit notices the smoke, which Fozzie explains is just jet exhaust.
303 beaker

303 waldorf and gonzo
Pigs in Space: The Swinetrek is drifting aimlessly through space! Dr. Julius Strangepork must restore power to the control panel or else the crew will be marooned in space forever! Finally, power is restored to the control panel, using parts from an electric toaster. Captain Link Hogthrob tests the system, dropping First Mate Miss Piggy down through the floor! She quickly pops back up. As levers are pulled, the three pigs pop up and down along with other Muppets, including Gonzo, a chicken, Beaker, the Male Koozebanian Creature, Luncheon Counter Monster, The Witch Doctor, Chopped Liver and Statler.

After the sketch, Gonzo pops up in Statler and Waldorf's box, asking, "I'm not supposed to be here either, right?"
303 yesterday
Roy sings "Yesterday When I Was Young" as Muppy listens and The Muppet Orchestra plays the music.
IDontWanttoSettheWorldonFire
UK Spot: "I Don't Want to Set the World on Fire" is performed by the Singing Firemen as Fozzie continues to try and put out the fire in the theater.
Royclark2
Talk Spot: Roy talks a little about his musical family and his attempts at playing numerous instruments. He then tells Kermit about missing his father's farm, so Kermit has various farm animals come in. Roy tells some terrible jokes about the animals, eventually insulting all of them when he says that the place is starting to look like a lunch counter.
303 barn dance
At the Dance: Various barn dance jokes. A pig tells his dance partner that he hates barn dances and only comes for the door prize: free tickets to the next barn dance. T.R. asks his dance partner about her brother-in-law on the ceiling. She says that he is trying to fix the ceiling fan. He fixes it, and himself, in the process.
303 cigar
Fozzie has formed a line, consisting of the Swedish Chef, Rowlf the Dog and Link Hogthrob, passing buckets of water down to try and put out the fire. Kermit arrives, demanding to know where all the smoke is coming from. Fozzie gives him a cigar and asks if he knows what it's like to be a father. When Kermit doesn't buy that it's all cigar smoke, Fozzie has the Swedish Chef explain the situation to Kermit.
303 pogo stick
Gonzo's stunts: Gonzo, in his premiere presentation of immortal perfection (otherwise known as rank stupidity), yodels Rimsky-Korsakov while riding on a motorized pogo-stick. The pogo-stick goes out of control, acting as a jack hammer through the floor.
303 lights out
Kermit calls for Fozzie to fix the hole in the stage left by Gonzo, telling him first to have Scooter turn off the lights on that part of the stage. Fozzie calls for Scooter to turn the lights out and ALL of the lights are turned off. Kermit, trying to find Fozzie, wanders about the stage until he falls into the hole. Fortunately, Kermit isn't hurt too bad, as he has landed on Gonzo.
TMS.303.Sally
Roy and the Muppets sing "Sally Was a Good Old Girl."
303 closing 1

303 closing 2
At the closing, Fozzie begs Kermit not to fire him. He agrees not to as Fozzie apologizes about the stagehands, the hole in the floor and the fire. The fire, of course, comes as a complete surprise to Kermit. Fozzie says, "You wouldn't hit a bear in front of a guest star, would you?" He then brings out Roy Clark.

Kermit tells Roy that he is a hot fiddle player. Roy explains that all it takes is a hot fiddle.

Cast

Muppets:

Kermit the Frog, Fozzie Bear, Gonzo, Scooter, Floyd Pepper, The Swedish Chef, Miss Piggy, Link Hogthrob, Dr. Julius Strangepork, Statler and Waldorf, T.R. the Rooster, Black Rooster, Paul Revere, Goat, Cow, Chickens, Singing Firemen, Dough, Slim Wilson, Gramps, Bubba, Zeke, Pigs, Whatnots

Background Muppets:

Zoot, Animal, Rowlf the Dog, Muppy, Lou, Lubbock Lou, Beaker, Male Koozebanian Creature, Luncheon Counter Monster, The Witch Doctor, Chopped Liver, Nigel, Catgut, Afghan Hound, Harrison Fox, Ducks

Audience Muppets:

Beautiful Day Monster

Performers

Jim Henson as Kermit the Frog, Waldorf, Link Hogthrob, the Swedish Chef and Black Rooster
Frank Oz as Fozzie Bear, Miss Piggy and Dough
Jerry Nelson as Floyd Pepper, Dr. Julius Strangepork, Singing Fireman, T.R. the Rooster, Chicken, Paul Revere, British Chap and the Announcer
Richard Hunt as Scooter, Statler, Beaker, British Chap Pig, Singing Fireman and Cow
Dave Goelz as Gonzo, Singing Fireman and Pigs
Louise Gold as Lou and Chicken
Peter Friedman as Lead Singing Fireman, Pig and Goat


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