|The Muppet Show|
|Guest Starring||Teresa Brewer|
|Production Dates||July 12-14, 1977|
|Home Video||Season Two|
Miss Piggy overhears Kermit tell Scooter that she's getting too fat to do her ballet number next week, so she decides to go on a diet. She breaks a scale weighing herself, and collapses after exercising with a TV show for a few minutes.
- "Cotton Fields"
- Pigs in Space: Out of Swill
- "Wild Thing"
- Gonzo's stunts: Gonzo recites Shakespeare while hanging by his nose from a feather boa nine feet in the air
- At the Dance: Diet Jokes
- UK Spot: "Cheese Cake"
- Muppet Labs: Electric Nose Warmer
- "At the Hop"
- "Spinning Wheel"
- "Music Music Music"
|Cold Open: Scooter calls for guest star Teresa Brewer, asking if she needs any help. She tells him that she could use a hand, which she receive -- a large Blue Hand.|
|"The Muppet Show Theme": Statler's seat is being occupied by Blue Frackle.
Statler: "Can I see your ticket stub?"
|Teresa Brewer sings "Cotton Fields" backed by Janice, Zoot and Floyd Pepper. Fozzie Bear drives the river boat and rings the bell.|
|Backstage, Scooter asks Kermit the Frog if he's made a decision about Miss Piggy's ballet number for the following week. Kermit tells Scooter that he's decided to cut it because Miss Piggy is "getting a little bulgy."
Kermit: "The pork no longer fits in the barrel."
Of course, Miss Piggy overhears the whole conversation.
Without letting on that she has heard him, Piggy announces to Kermit that she plans to go on a diet to lose twenty pounds. The idea is met with great enthusiasm.
|Pigs in Space: Out of Swill
"As we left our heroes the last time, Captain Hogthrob had just discovered the awful truth..."
The oxygen is almost gone, the fuel supplies are down to nothing, and the water is all used up. What could be worse? A crewman announces that they are also out of swill!
Captain Hogthrob orders First Mate Piggy to make some swill.
Piggy: "Me? I'm the first mate! I'm supposed to give orders."
Link: "Okay, then give us twenty-five orders of swill."
Dr. Julius Strangepork: "And one side of coleslaw!"
When Piggy protests by claiming to be a gourmet cook, Hogthrob responds with a request for "swill stroganoff". Piggy refuses to continue the sketch.
Scooter arrives to tell them to get on with the sketch, Hogthrob and Strangepork react by attacking the invading "hideous space creature".
|Animal, at his drum kit, sings a frantic "Wild Thing" until Janice and a pig come with nets and drag him away to a sanitarium.|
|Gonzo's stunts: Gonzo recites Shakespeare while hanging by his nose from a feather boa nine feet in the air, but after he gets a couple lines of The Merchant of Venice out, he sneezes and falls.|
|Guest Star's Dressing Room: Miss Piggy asks Teresa's advice in behalf of a "friend" who has a "teensy-weensy weight problem". Teresa offers to talk about it over lunch -- a smorgasbord!
Kermit arrives just before Piggy digs in and spoils her diet.
Kermit: "You weren't thinking of doing anything with that cake, there, were you, fat-stuff?"
Piggy: "Not until now."
Piggy pushes Kermit's face into the cake.
|At the Dance: The dancers tell diet jokes.
One dancer reveals his diet secret: carrots! He then reveals another secret -- he's grown rabbit ears.
The last joke ends with all the dancers falling through the floor.
|UK Spot: Dr. Teeth performs "Cheese Cake" with a cheesecake and some Muppet Monsters. At the end of the song, they try to eat the cheesecake, but it escapes only to be chased by a diet-defying Miss Piggy.|
|Teresa Brewer shows Kermit the autographs of some of the people she's worked with including Bing Crosby, Bob Hope, Louis Armstrong and Crazy Harry. Crazy Harry returns to offer her another.
Kermit notices she's missing one of the Muppets' autographs -- the most important one, as Teresa points out. So, she asks him how she can get Animal's autograph.
Animal shows up, more than happy to give Teresa his autograph -- right on her forehead.
|Muppet Labs: Electric Nose Warmer
Bunsen: "You really should stop smoking, Beaker. It's very bad for your health."
It turns out to be bad for Bunsen's health as well when Beaker grabs his arm, electrocuting Bunsen.
|Scooter and some frogs sing "At the Hop." The frogs give up the number when they decide to go to the Hop.|
|It has been twenty minutes since she started her diet, and Miss Piggy is hungry! She goes first to the mirror to see if she's lost "too much weight," then to the scale. The scale breaks when she weighs herself.|
|Teresa tries to sing "Spinning Wheel" while being pushed on a swing by Sweetums. The song is interrupted three times for a punchline that usually causes Sweetums some harm.|
|Miss Piggy decides to work out to a television program known as "The Chub Club" -- "The only T.V. show where we lose viewers by the ton!"
She touches her toes, does leg-lifts (in stilettos!) and jogs in place before fainting away.
|Teresa sings "Music Music Music" as a result of Animal and Floyd putting nickels into the jukebox she stands atop.|
|At the closing, Kermit calls for a big hand for Teresa Brewer. In return, Teresa for a big blue hand for Kermit.
Miss Piggy also "motivates" everyone onstage to exercise with her. "When the pig exercises, everybody exercises!"
- Kermit the Frog, Miss Piggy, Fozzie Bear, Gonzo, Scooter, Statler and Waldorf, Animal, Dr. Bunsen Honeydew, Beaker, Sweetums, Dr. Teeth, Floyd Pepper, Janice, Link Hogthrob, Dr. Julius Strangepork, Crazy Harry, Whatnots, Pigs, Frogs, Cheesecake
- Jim Henson as Kermit the Frog, Link Hogthrob, Waldorf and Dr. Teeth
- Frank Oz as Miss Piggy, Animal and Fozzie Bear
- Jerry Nelson as Floyd Pepper, Dr. Julius Strangepork, Crazy Harry, Frog, Dancers and the Announcer
- Richard Hunt as Scooter, Sweetums, Beaker, Statler and Pig Dancers
- Dave Goelz as Gonzo, Zoot, Dr. Bunsen Honeydew, Swinetrek Crewmember and Dancers
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|Bob Hope||John Cleese|