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Main stage. Kermit enters to applause.
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Kermit |
Thank you, thank you and welcome again to The Muppet Show. Hey, our special guest tonight is one of the truly great international singing stars, Miss Petula Clark. But first we... (the moose emerges) What is this, a moose?
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Moose |
I was supposed to be a buffalo.
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Kermit |
Uh, just — just leave, okay?
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Moose |
All right. I'll be backstage reading the moosepaper.
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Kermit |
(shoos him) Would you get off that stage? Off, off, off! Oops!
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Fozzie, Link, Robin, Gonzo and Scooter sail in a rowboat and sing as Fozzie rows.
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All |
Our ship is leaving Portsmouth Town.
Her name's the Good Ship Nancy Brown.
Yo-ho!
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Link Hogthrob |
Jib the boom!
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Scooter |
Poop the deck!
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Fozzie |
Rattle the hatch!
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Gonzo |
Main the sail!
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Robin |
Pepper the mints!
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All |
Anchors aweigh in the morn!
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Link Hogthrob |
Well done, me hearties!
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Scooter |
Aye aye, cap'n, sir!
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Fozzie |
Oh, I'm tired already. Huh.
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All |
Oh, we'll be sailing with the tide.
We've said farewell to our girls and brides.
Yo-ho!
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Link Hogthrob |
Rig the ratch!
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Scooter |
Hoist the hitch!
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Fozzie |
Bury the hatchet!
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Gonzo |
Poop the deck!
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Robin |
Beat the breeze!
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All |
Thar she blows in the morn!
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Tempo change.
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Link Hogthrob |
And soon we'll be out on the ocean foam.
So let's heave-ho with a will.
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Others |
Heave-ho!
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Scooter |
When come jolly tars, let's sing while we can…
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Robin |
For soon we'll all be deathly ill.
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Link Hogthrob |
Sing yo-ho!
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Others |
Sing yo-ho!
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Scooter |
Sing ho-hi!
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Others |
Sing ho-hi!
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Fozzie |
Sing hee-hee!
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Others |
Sing hee-hee!
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Link Hogthrob |
Yo-ho!
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Others |
Yo-ho!
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Scooter |
Ho-hi!
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Others |
Ho-hi!
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Fozzie |
Hee-hee!
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Others |
Hee-hee!
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Gonzo |
Ho-ho!
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Others |
Ho-ho!
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Robin |
Hoo-ha!
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All |
Hoo-ha! Ho-ho, ha-ha … (laughing)
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Tempo change.
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All |
For there's nothing like the life of a sailor,
Sailing on the briny foam.
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Scooter |
With a good stout ship beneath your feet …
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Fozzie |
And a good stout wife at home! Aaaahhh.
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All |
Oh, there's nothing, nothing, nothing like a sailor's life.
The sailor's life is grand.
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Link Hogthrob |
Oh, I'd never give up the sea unless…
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Fozzie |
… you offered me a job on land!
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All |
(laugh)
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Tempo change.
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All |
Singing … yo-ho!
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Link Hogthrob |
Hit the deck!
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Scooter |
Follow the fleet!
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Fozzie |
Anchors aweigh!
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Gonzo |
Scuttle the butt!
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Robin |
Roll the dice!
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Fozzie |
Deal the cards!
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Scooter |
Pepper the mints!
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All |
(harmonizing) We're sailing away … (sailing away) …
(sailing away) … (sailing away) … (sailing away)
On the briny sea!
Whoa! …
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The boat tips over — glub glub.
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Waldorf |
Here! Catch!
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He throws a life preserver.
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Statler |
Waste of time. Nothing will save this show.
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They chuckle.
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