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Episode 216: Cleo Laine

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The Muppet Show
Guest Starring Cleo Laine
Production Dates November 8-10, 1977
Home Video Season Two
Laine03

Fozzie's mother comes to see the show, so Fozzie insinuates himself into as many sketches and introductions as possible. After annoying everyone on the show, he looks up to the balcony and notices that his mother is fast asleep.

Songs/Sketches


Episode

Picture Description
216 cold open
Cold Open: Scooter calls for guest star Cleo Laine.

Cleo: "I hope the Muppets like me."

Animal pops up to show her that they don't just like her, but love her -- and he's quite aggressive about it, too.

216 statler and waldorf

216 trumpet
"The Muppet Show Theme": Statler and Waldorf hide behind the curtains of their box.

Gonzo's trumpet flies off.

Gonzo: "Come back here!"

216 intro

216 intro 2
Kermit the Frog introduces the show by announcing that tonight they have one of the "truly great stars." Fozzie Bear comes on to thank him for the introduction.

Fozzie: "Thank you! Thank you! You are too kind!"

Kermit: "I am not kind and you are not the star!"

Fozzie pulls Kermit aside to tell him that his Ma is in the audience.

216 limbo
A tropical limbo number where Blue Frackle, Green Frackle and Baskerville all try to outdo each other. Kermit comes out and tops them all!
216 scrunched
Backstage, Kermit pays the consequences for his limbo moves, but all Fozzie can think of is his mother -- after all, he wasn't even in the opening number!

Kermit: "I don't care."

Fozzie: "You don't care? Well, why not?"

Kermit: "Because I'm all scrunched up."

Fozzie unscrunches him by using his arm to jack him up. Kermit quickly abandons Fozzie to introduce Cleo Laine.

Fozzie: "But, Kermit, when is the bear on? That's what I want to know. When is the bear on?"

216 fozzie trick
During the introduction, Fozzie races onstage, distracts Kermit, then pushes him off so that the bear can go on and introduce Cleo Laine.
216 dont mean a thing
Cleo sings "It Don't Mean a Thing" with Dr. Teeth and the Electric Mayhem, introducing each member of the band to the audience as they play.

After the song, is Emily Bear is found looking for her son onstage.

216 fozzie piggy
Backstage, Fozzie begs Kermit to let him go on -- but Pigs in Space is next, so Fozzie begs Kermit to let him be in Pigs in Space.

Fozzie: "Why can't I be in Pigs in Space!"

Kermit: "Because you're not a pig!"

Fozzie: "Well, nobody's perfect!"

Fozzie is left to wonder if there is any possible way he could get into the sketch. Miss Piggy appears from out of her dressing room calling for her Pigs in Space costume. Fozzie has his way in!

216 pigs in space
"As we left our heroes last week, Captain Hogthrob had just ordered the Swintrek's bi-annual inspection..."

Dr. Julius Strangepork calls for "all hogs on deck," and when they appear, we find Fozzie Bear has replaced First Mate Piggy!

Captain Hogthrob orders that the entire ship be scrubbed down from stem to... the back part.

Strangepork: "That's stern, Captain."

Hogthrob: "You bet that's stern!"

Captain Hogthrob, after inquiring about Miss Piggy's shaving habits, dismisses the rest of the crew so he can make a pass at the ersatz "First Mate Piggy". He is left chasing Fozzie/Piggy around the bridge of the Swinetrek.

216 imposter
Backstage, Miss Piggy is on the hunt for Fozzie for stealing her costume and part. She leaves to look for him just as Link chases Fozzie offstage where he is revealed to be an impostor. Now both Link and Piggy are after Fozzie, but only until Fozzie redirects their attention to Kermit, blaming him.
216 fozzie
Fozzie returns to the stage. With Kermit otherwise indisposed, Fozzie figures the rest of the show belongs to him.

Fozzie: "I thought I'd come out, tell a few jokes, sing a few songs, and then--"

Kermit: "Fozzie! Will you get off the stage?!"

Fozzie: "Yeah, that too."

216 bruce schwartz
Guest puppeteer Bruce Schwartz performs a bunraku ballerina puppet.
Mad Dogs
UK Spot: Rowlf the Dog, Baskerville and Afghan Hound sing "Mad Dogs and Englishmen".
219 fozzie kermit
Fozzie asks Kermit if he's going to introduce him now, to which Kermit replies, "No." When Fozzie asks when he will go on, Kermit reminds him that he has already been in everything.

Kermit: "What do you want, star billing?"

Fozzie: "That would be nice."

216 chef
The Swedish Chef (Salad): Cleo and the Chef sing a duet of "You're Just in Love," Cleo in English and the Chef in mock-Swedish.
216 phrenology
Fozzie's Comedy Act (Phrenology): After nearly ruining everyone else's act, Fozzie finally gets his chance, using Kermit as an assistant for a demonstration of phrenology, the art of reading bumps on the head (even if he has to make them himself).
216 robin
While Kermit is busy chasing after Fozzie, Robin the Frog comes onstage to introduce the final number.
216 if
Cleo sings the melancholic "If," while Bruce Schwartz accompanies her with another puppetry performance.
216 closing
At the closing, Cleo asks Fozzie how his mother enjoyed the show. When he asks her, they discover that she is fast asleep.

Fozzie: "Oh, Ma! How could you?"

Cast

Cleo-laine-mayhem
Laine02

Muppets:

Kermit the Frog, Miss Piggy, Fozzie Bear, Scooter, Rowlf the Dog, Statler and Waldorf, Animal, Dr. Teeth, Zoot, Floyd Pepper, Janice, Frackles, Baskerville the Hound, Afghan Hound, Pigs, Link Hogthrob, Dr. Julius Strangepork, The Swedish Chef, Robin the Frog, Emily Bear

Background Muppets:

Gonzo, Mildred Huxtetter, Dr. Bunsen Honeydew, Bobby Benson, Whatnots

Performers

Jim Henson as Kermit the Frog, Link Hogthrob, Waldorf, Dr. Teeth, Rowlf and The Swedish Chef
Frank Oz as Fozzie Bear, Miss Piggy, Blue Frackle and Animal
Jerry Nelson as Floyd Pepper, Baskerville, Robin, Dr. Strangepork and The Announcer
Richard Hunt as Scooter, Janice, Green Frackle and Statler
Dave Goelz as Zoot, Gonzo and Pig
Louise Gold as Afghan Hound (uncredited)
Bruce Schwartz, guest puppeteer


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