|The Muppet Show|
|Guest Starring||Dom DeLuise|
|Production Dates||August 9-11, 1977|
|Home Video|| Season Two|
Best of the Muppet Show
Miss Piggy hires Scooter to pay off the audience to go wild for her. She also has him send her dozens of bouquets and write her piles of fan mail, all part of an attempt to get Kermit to notice her more. Piggy and Scooter stage a conversation for Kermit to overhear, in which she pretends to have an offer from another show, but Kermit isn't fooled. After finding out from Scooter what's really going on, he tells Piggy he's heard about her offer and has decided to let her go. When she breaks down in tears, sobbing that she can't leave him, Kermit agrees to take her back, but at a lower salary. After all, if she can afford to have Scooter pay off the audience for her...
- "Don't Dilly Dally on the Way"
- Planet Koozebane: Merdlidops
- Animal performs a drum solo
- Veterinarian's Hospital: Cow
- UK Spot: "Henrietta's Wedding"
- "Don't Blame the Dynamite"
- "Sheppard's Institute of Animal Protection"
- "We Got Us"
|Cold Open: Scooter calls for Dom DeLuise only to find The Swedish Chef garnishing his head for dinner.|
|"The Muppet Show Theme": Gonzo's trumpet blows orange smoke.|
|For the opening number, Miss Piggy sings "Don't Dilly Dally on the Way" with a surprisingly affectionate reaction from the audience, including Statler and Waldorf joining in.|
|Scooter, in watching the audience's reaction, points out how much they must love Miss Piggy. Kermit quips, "Yeah. Must be an easy house."
After Kermit has left, Piggy asks Scooter if he thinks it worked, to which Scooter replies, "Yeah, and how about that audience I paid off for you?"
Piggy reveals that she is trying to grab Kermit's attention. Scooter suggests the notion that Piggy would also like her own spot on the show.
|Dome DeLuise, as an interplanetary explorer, finds himself on the Planet Koozebane. He is soon surrounded by Merdlidops who steal his hammer and his radio. In his efforts to retrieve his items and perhaps capture one of the creatures, Dom falls into a crater and becomes one of the Merdlidops himself.
(Note: After the scene, Statler asks Waldorf if he thinks there might be life on other planets, to which Waldorf responds: "What do you care? You don't have a life on this one." The joke would later be reused in Muppets From Space).
|Animal performs a drum solo. A few seconds after Animal is through, a final note is heard that confuses him.|
|Miss Piggy goes to Dom's dressing room to change as hers is completely full of flowers. Dom expresses his anger that, although he is the guest star this week, the only thing people seem to be excited about is Piggy. After a poorly placed pig pun wherein Dom sings "The Days of Swine and Roses," he and Miss Piggy exchange insults about being overweight, which eventually leads to Dom pushing an apple into Piggy's mouth.
Scooter arrives to call Piggy for the hospital sketch, and Piggy is more than happy to provide them with a patient by using her karate on Dom.
|Veterinarian's Hospital: The scene begins with the audience chanting for Miss Piggy's arrival. Dr. Bob and his assistants then go on to "milk" several terrible cow jokes.|
|UK Spot: Slim Wilson and Lou sing "Henrietta's Wedding".|
|Dr. Teeth and the Electric Mayhem sing "Don't Blame the Dynamite".|
|Backstage, Miss Piggy and Scooter are engaged in a conversation, designed for Kermit to overhear, about her "new job offer." Although Scooter messes up one of his lines, Piggy departs assuming it has gone well.
When she has left, Kermit confronts Scooter about the conversation. Scooter refuses to talk... until Kermit offers him a raise. Scooter blurts out: "The flowers are fake, the audience was paid off, I wrote the fan letters, and Miss Piggy doesn't have another offer." Kermit tells Scooter, "I like your style."
|Dom DeLuise welcomes the viewer to "Sheppard's Institute of Animal Protection," an organization devoted to the protection of "innocent" animals. Dom takes the viewer through the feeding and entertainment routine provided for a group of Muppet Monsters in an effort to raise funds. Dom even encourages the viewer to adopt them. Eventually, Dom finds himself completely entangled by the Muppet monsters.|
|Kermit tells Miss Piggy that he overheard her conversation about another offer, and has come to a decision that he feels will make her happy: He has decided to let her go. Though flustered, Piggy plays along at first until she finally breaks down and begs for her job back. Kermit agrees, provided that she take a pay cut. Kermit reasons that since Piggy can afford to pay off the audience and pay for all the flowers and furs, that she must not need the money.|
|Miss Piggy is depressed when her scheme is discovered, but Dom cheers her up by singing "We Got Us".|
|At the closing, Kermit calls Dom DeLuise back out and thanks all in the audience, especially those who were not "paid off by the pig," words Piggy fails to find the humor in.|
- Nickelodeon: "Don't Blame the Dynamite" was cut.
- Kermit the Frog, Miss Piggy, Scooter, Animal, Statler and Waldorf, Rowlf, Merdlidops, Cow, Dr. Teeth, Floyd Pepper, Janice, Zoot, Slim Wilson, Lou, Whatnot, Big Mama, Doglion, Luncheon Counter Monster
- Jim Henson as Kermit the Frog, Dr. Teeth, Rowlf, The Swedish Chef and Waldorf
- Frank Oz as Miss Piggy, Animal, Doglion and Merdlidop
- Jerry Nelson as Floyd Pepper, Slim Wilson, Merdlidop, the Announcer, Cow and Delivery Guy
- Richard Hunt as Scooter, Janice, Merdlidop, Mean Mama and Statler
- Dave Goelz as Merdlidop and Luncheon Counter Monster
- Louise Gold as Lou (uncredited)
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|George Burns||Bernadette Peters|