Episode 118: Phyllis Diller

The Muppet Show
Guest	Phyllis Diller
Production	October 11-14, 1976
Premiere	UK: December 5, 1976 US: February 14, 1977
Releases	Season One
(TRANSCRIPT)

Aging wardrobe woman Hilda puts on a wig and makeup to try to make herself look younger. She is spotlighted in a backstage plot for the first and last time.

Songs/Sketches

• "Mississippi Mud"
• Rowlf and Phyllis compete over whose life is more depressing.
• Muppet News Flash
• At the Dance
• UK Spot: "Lazy Bones"
• Talk Spot: Phyllis tries to show Fozzie how to be funnier.
• "Hugga Wugga"/ "You Are My Sunshine"
• Muppet Labs: Exploding Clothes
• Blackout: Phyllis and Gonzo talk about her photographs.
• Veterinarian's Hospital: Bread
• "The Entertainer"

Notes

• The Janice puppet from Sex and Violence is used in the "At the Dance" segment.
• This is the third time that someone else (Fozzie), instead of Kermit, says, "See you next time on The Muppet Show!" at the end of the episode. The first time was episode 111 when Hilda said it and the second time was episode 112 when Peter Ustinov said it.

Episode

Picture	Description
	Crazy Harry sets off an explosion before Gonzo can hit the gong. Gonzo notes that his version is "not bad."
	Fozzie Bear tries to introduce the show, claiming that he is doing so because Kermit works too hard. Kermit tells Fozzie, "You introduce the show, and I will pull the rope." The rope just so happens to open the stage's trap door, which Fozzie is standing on top of.
	The Gogolala Jubilee Jugband sings "Mississippi Mud" as the tap their feet in the mud.
	Backstage, The Gogolala, leaving the stage and jostling Kermit, is congratulated by Scooter, who wishes however that they had wipe their feet. Hilda praises the show's guest star, talking about how young-looking Phyllis Diller is. She asks Scooter if he believes she has had her face "raised," and then considers whether or not she should do the same. After all, she is 35.
	Rowlf the Dog and Phyllis compete over whose life is more depressing. Phyllis assures Rowlf that she was born a loser, but Rowlf says she just doesn't know what it's like to live life as a dog. She responds, "Don't be so sure."
	Old Hilda decides that it's time she became young Hilda, and dons a long-haired wig. She's positive no one will recognize her! Of course, Kermit recognizes her instantly, and doesn't even acknowledge her new look.
	Muppet News Flash: The Newsman reports on Mrs. Beverly Shepherd (Phyllis Diller) making aviation history by strapping a pair of wings to her arms and flying to Dallas, Texas.
	At the Dance: Two pigs dancing together say that they're so in love with each other that they can't eat, sleep, or see straight. Zoot tells them to check into a hospital.
	UK Spot: Dr. Teeth, Floyd Pepper, Zoot and Janice perform "Lazy Bones."
	Talk Spot: Fozzie asks Phyllis to give him a few tips on comedy. She struggles with this, as Fozzie refuses to make up facts for the sake of his jokes. She even suggests a small apartment joke: "I live in an apartment so small, the mice are hunchbacked." Fozzie offers his own, more truthful joke: "I live in an apartment so small, my mouse has the gout.Despite Fozzie's reluctance to use the joke, Fozzie already told it in an earlier episode.
	On a distant planet, a Hugga Wugga beast tyrannizes a loony bird, and battles a gentle creature who sings "You Are My Sunshine."
	Hilda, having received some beauty tips from Phyllis, is sure that everyone will finally notice the changes she has made. Fozzie does indeed notice... unfortunately, the change he is referring to is that Hilda has recently changed the dressing room towels. Hilda is furious : "This means all-out war !"
	Muppet Labs: Dr. Bunsen Honeydew shows off the latest in scientific apparel: exploding hats, exploding earmuffs, and self-destruct neckties.
	Blackout: Phyllis and Gonzo discuss her pocket camera and photographs... of pockets.
	Veterinarian's Hospital: Dr. Bob operates on a very sick loaf of talking bread. Finally, he has discovered edible patients.
	Kermit notices a very attractive woman backstage, but it turns out to be Hilda. Kermit notices how thin she looks, and she reveals that she is wearing "very tight foundation garments." The girdle turns out to be far too tight, and pops, destroying her appearance. Kermit reassures her, stating that they love her just the way she is. Hilda states, "The old gray mare is just what she used to be."
	Phyllis accompanies the Muppet orchestra by playing "The Entertainer" on the saxophone, abominably. Finally, Zoot comes in to show her how it's done.
	At the closing, Phyllis asks Kermit to do her a favor, having him move to her right. What he doesn't realize is that he is now standing on the trap door, the rope to which is in Fozzie's hand.
	Waldorf says that he loved the show. Statler pulls a rope, opening a trap door in the balcony.

Edits

• Nickelodeon: Muppet Labs was cut.

Cast

Muppets:

Kermit the Frog, Miss Piggy, Fozzie Bear, Gonzo, Scooter, Rowlf the Dog, Statler and Waldorf, The Gogolala Jubilee Jugband, Hilda, The Newsman, Zoot, Janice, Green Frackle, George the Janitor, Mildred Huxtetter, Dr. Teeth, Hugga Wugga, Dr. Bunsen Honeydew, Pigs, Whatnots, French Bread

Background Muppets:

Nigel, Floyd Pepper, Animal, Trumpet Girl

Performers

Jim Henson as Kermit the Frog, Rowlf, Dr. Teeth, Waldorf, and the Newsman

Frank Oz as Miss Piggy, Fozzie Bear, George the Janitor, Mildred Huxtetter, and angry Hugga Wugga creature

Jerry Nelson as happy Hugga Wugga creature, the Announcer and Jugband member

Richard Hunt as Scooter, Statler, pig dancers, and Jugband member

Eren Ozker as Hilda and Janice

Dave Goelz as The Great Gonzo, Dr. Bunsen Honeydew and Zoot

John Lovelady as Green Frackle and an Iggy Wiggy (bird-like Hugga Wugga creature)

External links

• Falk, Karen. "Jim Henson's Red Book", 10/12/1976 Phyllis Diller (Muppet Show)

Gallery

Deleted scene

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