|The Muppet Show|
|Production||August 3-5, 1976|
|Premiere|| UK: November 19, 1976|
US: October 4, 1976
- "A Nice Girl Like Me"
- The Swedish Chef: donuts
- Fozzie's Monologue: The Banana Sketch
- At the Dance
- Inner Beauty
- UK Spot: "Nobody"
- "Never Smile at a Crocodile"
- Talk Spot
- Muppet News Flash: Jumping in Place
- Veterinarian's Hospital: Old Man
- "Try to Remember"
- Mary Louise can be seen in the front row of the audience right before her number, "Never Smile at a Crocodile."
- A smaller version of the Robin puppet is used for the jumping effect at the beginning of "Never Smile at a Crocodile."
- Muppet Show writer Jack Burns also played a washed up Gags Beasley on Saturday Night Live during the 1976-1977 season, and mentioned his famous "Banana Sketch".
|"The Muppet Show Theme": Gonzo accidentally drops his mallet, and so hits the gong with his head.|
|Kermit announces that the show will be a real "bang-up affair." Crazy Harry picks up on this cue, blasting Kermit off the stage, sending him flying into Statler and Waldorf's Box. Kermit then announces that the opening number was staged by Scooter, so it could be a bomb. Crazy Harry blows up Kermit again, leaving Fozzie to introduce the number.|
|Sandy Duncan performs "A Nice Girl Like Me," singing and dancing in a bar with several monsters.|
|Backstage, Fozzie begs Kermit to lend him five dollars to pay his writer, the legendary Gags Beasley. Kermit won't lend him the money, but assumes Gags comes pretty cheap. Fozzie explains their deal: Gags gets paid by the laugh. Kermit quips, "Then he owes you money."|
|The Swedish Chef prepares donuts with a pistol.|
|Fozzie's Monologues: Fozzie starts to perform the "Banana Sketch," which we do not hear at this time.|
|Hilda watches Fozzie's act from backstage, and is excited to see that he is actually getting laughs from the audience. Kermit mentions that Fozzie has a new writer, Gags Beasley. Scooter overhears, and exclaims, "Not the legendary Gags Beasley!" Kermit appears to be the only one who has not heard of him when Hilda describes him as the Mozart of comedy and writer of the famous "Banana Sketch." Kermit has never heard of this either, but Hilda cannot control her laughter long enough to try and explain it to him.|
When Fozzie returns backstage, Kermit tries to ask him about the "Banana Sketch," but Fozzie is too busy spreading it around that Kermit hasn't heard of it. The frog turns to the audience, believing that someone is pulling his leg. Someone is pulling his leg, it's the Great Gonzo, who likewise mocks him for having never heard the "Banana Sketch."
|At the Dance: The majority of jokes revolve around various world locations. Mildred talks about seeing the changing of the guard in London (they may have been dirty), a pig tells her partner that she was born in Paris (the usual way), and Rowlf talks about his cousin who lives in the desert and runs very fast (because of the distance between trees). Also the usual music is played to a tango beat.|
|Inner Beauty: Sweetums is depressed, as he is huge, scary, and ugly. Sandy enters the park where he is sitting, and he shows her how dogs bite him and how even flowers wilt in his presence. Undeterred, Sandy inspires Sweetums to look past his outer ugliness and appreciate the beauty within. Enthralled, he greets Muppy, who licks him, and then a wilted flower, which perks right up. Full of self-satisfaction, Sandy continues walking and notices Behemoth also looking sad. She starts her "outer ugliness" speech again...but Behemoth is offended and slams a Pie into her face!|
|UK Spot: Gonzo, accompanied by Rowlf the Dog, sings "Nobody."|
|Mary Louise rides through the swamp, singing "Never Smile at a Crocodile" as frogs are eaten by her crocodile.|
|Talk Spot: Sandy and Fozzie can't believe that Kermit doesn't know the "Banana Sketch." When Sandy tries to explain it, she and Fozzie can't stop laughing long enough to describe it!|
|Muppet News Flash: The Newsman interviews Mrs. Billie Lee Bonkers of Texas about setting the world jumping-in-place record. How does she do it? She's standing on a hot plate.|
|Miss Piggy learns that Kermit has never heard of the "Banana Sketch," and is devestated. Kermit calmly states, "THERE IS NO BANANA SKETCH, THERE NEVER WAS A BANANA SKETCH, AND THERE NEVER WILL BE A BANANA SKETCH!" Kermit then meets a banana, who says, "Hey, which way to my dressing room? And don't try to shove me him into the refrigerator." Kermit breaks down in tears.|
|Veterinarian's Hospital: Dr. Bob has only just completed his first transplant, and is already hoping for a second chance. He then remembers that he's lost his watch in the patient.|
|Sandy sings "Try to Remember" to Kermit in a peaceful setting. Slowly, a whole group of Muppets arrive to listen in.|
|At the closing, Kermit tells Sandy that on some shows, guests are presented with a dozen roses at the end. Instead, he has Fozzie bring her a bushel of bananas. Fozzie tells her it was Kermit's idea, not his, but Sandy is touched. "Yeah, well, I hope that's the last I ever hear of the banana sketch!" Kermit snaps.|
- Kermit the Frog, Miss Piggy, Fozzie Bear, Gonzo, Scooter, Rowlf the Dog, Statler and Waldorf, Crazy Harry, Sweetums, The Mutations, The Swedish Chef, Hilda, George the Janitor, Mildred Huxtetter, Bernie (Easter Bunny), Animal, Muppy, Behemoth, Mary Louise, Crocodile, The Newsman, Banana, Janice, The Announcer, Whatnot Dancers: Brunette Woman, Red-haired Woman, Blonde Green Woman; Pig Dancers: Brunette Female Pig, Brunette Male Pig
- Dr. Teeth, Zoot, Beautiful Day Monster, Full-Bodied Humanoid, Mary Louise, Dr. Bunsen Honeydew, Robin the Frog, Frackles, Droop, Nigel, Baskerville the Hound, Wayne, Frogs, Pigs, Whatnots
- Mahna Mahna, Zelda Rose, Sam the Eagle, Beautiful Day Monster, Wally, Frackles, Mary Louise, Pig, Whatnots, Miss Mousey
- Jim Henson as Kermit the Frog, Rowlf, The Swedish Chef, Waldorf, Sweetums in 'Nice Girl Like Me' and the Newsman
- Frank Oz as Fozzie Bear, Miss Piggy, Animal, George the Janitor and Mildred
- Richard Hunt as Scooter, Statler, Sweetums, Pig Dancers and Frogs
- Dave Goelz as The Great Gonzo and Muppy
- John Lovelady as Crazy Harry, The Announcer, Rabbit, Shouting Lady and Frogs
- Eren Ozker as Hilda, Janice and Rowlf's and Animal's dancing partners
- Rollie Krewson as Mary Louise
- Peter Friedman as the Crocodile and the Banana
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|Bruce Forsyth||Candice Bergen|