Cold Open

Backstage, Clifford encounters Rizzo.
Clifford Yo, Riz, how's everything going with the Garth Brooks show?
Rizzo Oh, it's going great. We've got Garth singing "The Thunder Rolls" with the Longhorn Cheddar Cheeses —
One of them passes by, mooing.
Clifford 'Kay. Sounds good.
Rizzo Yeah. We've got Garth singing "Papa Loves Mama" with the Barbershop Cactus Quartet -
Cacti (in close harmony) ♪ Hello …
Rizzo Hoo-hoo!
Clifford Sounds good. Heh heh heh.
Rizzo Yeah! And then after that, we have Garth with —
Bill Ahem.
Rizzo Who are you?
Bill I'm Bill. Bubbles come out of my head, see? (blows bubbles) Heh. Like it?
Clifford Whoa.
Rizzo Wait a second here. You're not on my list.
Bill Oh, yeah. I'm just here looking for work, though.
Rizzo (laughs) Come on, Clifford.
Clifford (laughs)
Bill I'll be in the green room.
Clifford Alright.
Rizzo Yeah. (laughs)
Clifford Well done, Riz! The network wants Garth Brooks singing all of his hits, and that's exactly what they're gonna get.
Rizzo Yep, chief, nothing can go wrong. (laughs)
Garth steps out of the elevator, talking to Seymour and Pepe.
Pepe Yes, I especially love the song about the low places, okay.
Seymour Yeah!
Garth Thanks, guys.
Clifford Hey! Garth Brooks, my main man!
Garth (shakes hands) How you doing, buddy?
Clifford Hey, welcome to the show.
Garth Thank you, man, and I brought some good news: I've been thinking.
Rizzo Uh-oh …
Garth We do Garth Brooks stuff on everybody else's show. But you guys? What do you say let's do something different?
Clifford Really? Like what?
Garth removes his black coat and hat, revealing a Latin dancing outfit.
Garth MAMBO!
He leads a conga line of Muppets through the hallway. Clifford and Rizzo are speechless.
Rizzo Well, that's something different.


Theme

Kermit opens the doors to the Muppet Theater.
Kermit It's Muppets Tonight, with our very special guest star, Garth Brooks! Yay!
He is immediately trampled by theater patrons. Clifford sings the theme song while wandering through the dressing room to the control room to the stage, as Jowls whistles. Clifford reaches the stage, goes to a wall and throws a switch which lights up the show's title.


Opening Number

Zoom out on the house band. Clifford comes out onstage.
A. Ligator And now, here's the host of our show, C'lifford!
Clifford Hey! What's up, what's up? Good evening, and welcome to, Muppets Tonight, the show that has folks all around the world saying …
A group of Extremes pops up and babbles.
Clifford … whatever that means. (chuckles) Tonight, our special guest star is, Mr. Garth Brooks! (applause) Give it up! Give it up! So without further ado …
Rizzo Clifford! Psst! Clifford! I think you want more ado!
Clifford I do?
Rizzo Yeah, like a lot more ado, like maybe a double ado?
Clifford Uh, heh … what're you talkin' 'bout, Rizzo?
Rizzo Well — Garth is wearing a puffy shirt, tights, and a cute set of bloomers.
Clifford Excuse us, folks.
They turn their backs on the audience.
Clifford Bloomers?!?
Rizzo Yeah, I mean, they're very tasteful if you like bloomers on guys … heh heh.
Clifford Man, what are we gonna do? We can't let him go out own stage like that.
Rizzo Well, you could put on Bill.
Clifford turns around and notices Bill standing by the camera, blowing bubbles out of his head.
Bill I'm ready.
Clifford facepalms.
Rizzo Clifford, are you crying?
Clifford I'm fine, man, I can handle it. Ahem. Ladies and gentlemen, as you've never seen him before, Mr. Garth Brooks!
Applause. Switch to Garth on a balcony set, dressed as Romeo. Miss Piggy plays Juliet.
Garth But soft, what light through yonder window breaks? It is the east, and Juliet is the sun.
Miss Piggy What are you talking about?? We're supposed to be singing "Surrey with the Fringe on Top"! Why don't I ever get rewrite pages??
Garth Miss Piggy — Miss Piggy, it's okay. I just changed a few lines, don't worry, it's right there on the cue cards, okay?
He points to the cue cards, then resumes his soliloquy.
Garth She speaks!
Miss Piggy Oh, all right! I'll play along.
She puts on glasses and looks down at the cards.
Miss Piggy Ah. "Oh, Romero, Romero. Wherefore ark song, Romero?" Well, this doesn't make any sense!
Andy Hey, Aunt Piggy!
Randy Hi, Mr. Brooks!
Andy & Randy Look! We are wearing bloomers too! (laugh)
Garth Forsooth, whofore art thou?
Andy & Randy We fore art the Two Gentlemen of Bologna!
Miss Piggy More like the Two Meatheads of Bologna!
Andy Hey! Have we not feelings? If you prick us, do we not bleed?
Randy If you tickle us, do we not laugh?
Andy Let's see. Tickle tickle tickle!
Randy (laughs)
Garth Oh, cut it out. Please.
Andy What? Sorry.
Garth I believe it's your line, Miss Piggy.
Miss Piggy (reading card) "Good night, good night. Parking is such sweet … sparrow"?
The stagehand points vigorously to the card.
Miss Piggy Uh … "sponging"? "Parking is such sweet sponging." Whoever wrote this should be shot!
Andy wiggles one of the beams.
Andy Hey, Aunt Piggy, this balcony is not safe.
Randy Yeah, if you pull this beam out, the whole thing will fall down.
Andy Yeah.
Miss Piggy No, no, no, no! Don't touch that!
Garth Whoa, wait a minute —
Garth tries to push them away, but he accidentally breaks the beam, knocking Piggy down.
Miss Piggy You twits!
Switch to the nursing home.
Statler Shakespeare would've hated that!
Waldorf You should know! You dated his sister!
They chuckle.
Statler Boy, was she ugly.
They continue watching.



Tales from the Vet

Open on a lab, with weird creatures squirming in cages.
Announcer And now, it's time for another episode of Tales from the Vet.
Two doors open, and Dr. Phil pops up.
Dr. Phil van Neuter Heyyyy-hi-ho YOU! Scared you, didn't I? Yes, always! I am Dr. Phil van Neuter, your … (strokes a beaker) … friendly veterinarian. Mm, mm, mm. Come with me now, as I open the secret files to the strangest animal stories ever told.
He opens a filing cabinet.
Dr. Phil van Neuter What?? My secret files that are so secret, they're not even here!! Mulch!
Mulch (groans)
Dr. Phil van Neuter Mulch, Mulch! Where's the secret files?
Mulch (growls)
Dr. Phil van Neuter Oh. Oh, oh, oh. Too busy, eh? Hmm, let me see. I, Dr. Phil, write on the show, act on the show, schmooze the network, whereas you, Mulch, look after the secret files! Gee, I wonder who has more to do!
Mulch (roars)
Dr. Phil van Neuter Of course you have a lot on your mind. That's because your brain is the size of a walnut. In fact, I had to put another one in your hips just so that you could walk!
Mulch (roars)
Dr. Phil van Neuter (shoves him away) Go get those files! (facepalms, hyperventilates) While we're waiting here for Mulch, let me remind you that Mulchy and I will be appearing locally in Under the Yumyum Tree, a musical romp that the whole family will —
Mulch comes back with a folder.
Dr. Phil van Neuter — Oh! Oh! Oh! The secret files!
Mulch (growls)
Dr. Phil van Neuter Finally! (opens the folder) Let's see, let's see. … OH YES YES YES!! Excellent choice! Tonight's episode is the chilling saga of a turkey named Taylor. A turkey who LOVED Thanksgiving!
A blob of green slime transitions to a scene of a turkey relaxing in an oven.
Turkey Hmmm. This Thanksgiving thing is really great. I don't know why the other guys in the pen bad-mouth it. I mean, they give me a nice shave, and, look at all this food. Yams, pumpkin pie, stuffing, and look — they've given me an aromatherapy bath! Sage, rosemary and oregano — hee hee hee! Mmmm, I smell good enough to eat. Mm-mm-mm!
Zoom out on the oven.
Turkey Whew. Boy, it's getting kind of hot in here though.
A blob of green slime transitions back to the lab.
Dr. Phil van Neuter Poor, slow-witted Taylor. Product of the public school system. HE won't be enjoying any leftovers this year, because he IS the leftovers!! Aah! (tosses the folder) So, until next week, the files are closed! (shuts the cabinet)
Mulch (growls)
Dr. Phil van Neuter Oh, yes, yes, alright, so your brain isn't the size of a walnut. It's more like the size of TWO walnuts! (laughs)
Mulch grips him by the ear as the doors close.
Dr. Phil van Neuter Aaah! Ow! No, Mulch, not my sideburns! That's just what the nuns used to do! Ow! Ow! Ow!


Swift Wits

Open on Snookie making small talk with the contestant, then noticing they're on.
Snookie Ho! Hello, and welcome to Swift Wits, the fastest game show on TV! I'm your host, Snookie Blyer, and here's our contestant, Miss Agnes Stonewick. Tell us a little about yourself, dear.
Agnes Well, I'm 87 years old, and —
Snookie (cuts her off) Oh, that's wonderful, Agnes! Now today you're going to be playing for Buffy, a cute little beagle who was found whimpering in the parking lot of Al's TV City.
A window opens to reveal Buffy.
Snookie (laughs)
Agnes Aww, he's sweet!
Snookie And if you answer correctly, Buffy will receive a lifetime supply of Sniggle's Live Dog Treats! Remember, if it wiggles, it's Sniggle's! And I'm sure Buffy is gonna love 'em. Aren't ya, pal? (Buffy barks) By the way, on the off chance you don't get the answer, Buffy will be eaten by Carl the Big Mean Bunny!
A window opens to reveal Carl.
Agnes What?
Carl Hi.
Snookie Ho-ho! Okay, Agnes, let's tell our home audience the answer.
A. Ligator The answer is "rug".
Snookie M'okay! Alright, you've got ten seconds. Here come the clues.
Agnes Um …
Snookie This is a big large thing that sits in your living room and never moves.
Agnes My brother Norm.
Snookie N' — no no no! You walk all over it.
Agnes That's Norm.
Snookie No, no, when it gets dirty, you take it out and beat on it!
Agnes Definitely Norm.
The buzzer sounds and the "frown" face lights up.
Snookie D'ohhh! Too bad, Agnes! The answer was "rug", dear, "rug".
Agnes You're kidding me!
Snookie Okay, Carl, bon appetit! So long, Buffy!
Carl Thank you!
He devours Buffy. The window shuts.
Snookie Ha ha! Goodbye, everybody! Thanks for playing! (fires imaginary gun)

Backstage / "It's Not Unusual"

Kermit Hey Clifford, Clifford, I've got some great news for you.
Clifford What, they finally put the Shaft episodes on laserdisc?
Kermit Uh, no, no, I just talked to Garth and he promised to go out there and do a song.
Clifford Aw, Kerm, that's great! If you weren't a bug-eyed, spindly-legged froggy, I'd give you a big kiss on your knobby little head.
Kermit And if you weren't a purple catfish-faced multicolored mop top, I'd let you.
Rizzo Aw! Ain't friendship a beautiful thing? (sobs)
They all look up at the monitor and see Garth, dressed as Tom Jones, singing "It's Not Unusual" to an audience of excited Muppets, backed up by a trio of slinkys. Clifford groans and shakes his head. A pair of pants is tossed to him, which he tosses back.
Randy He's got my pants!
A cow faints. The song continues. A scarf is tossed to Garth.
Randy He's got your pants!
They cheer. Garth tosses the scarf, and Bobo tosses a hanky. Garth catches a tiny lingerie garment. Clifford watches in the control room and facepalms.
Clifford Oh, no.
Rizzo Yo, chief! Hey, the head of the network is headed this way, and he ain't happy.
Nigel Panic, panic, panic.
Network head Oh, hey, J.P., hi, how's it doing? Hey, everybody, you're doing a great job, love what you're doing. Oh, hi, Clifford. Listen, I'd like a little word with you here—
Clifford Yeah, what's up?
Network head If you don't get Garth Brooks to sing a country song, I'm gonna yank you off the air and give your time slot to uh … to HIM!
He points to Bill, who gives thumbs-up while blowing bubbles out of his head. Back on stage, as the song concludes, all the Muppets have fainted except Bobo. Applause. Garth leaves with a pair of shorts.
Bobo Yeah, yeah, yeah, Garth! Yes, huh, Garth, huh? Are you — YEAH! YES! GARTH … hey… hey, wha … where're you going … those are my, uh, shorts there. Last pair.



The Tubmans of Porksmith

Open on the dining room. Howard sits in a chair. Carter passes by and hands him a drumstick which he starts eating. The doorbell rings.
A. Ligator And now, the continuing saga of America's oldest and fattest family, The Tubmans of Porksmith.
Howard Carter, get the door.
Carter I'm getting it, sir. (answers the door) Um — may I help you?
Handyman Oh, I sure hope so. I got a call that someone at this address is stuck in a chair, and needs to be pried out.
Carter Ah, yes. That would be Mr. Tubman. Uh, walk this way. (hobbles over to Howard)
Handyman Alright. (hobbles along)
Howard Who is it, Carter?
Carter It's the handyman, sir.
Howard Oh, terrific. Hello.
Handyman Hi! Well, let's see. Take a seat — I mean, uh, keep your seat — I mean, well, just sit down, and we'll take a look here.
Howard I am sitting.
Handyman Oh, my — Oh! Oh! Oh!
Howard Well, what is it? What's the problem?
Handyman I'm gonna have to blast!
Howard Why, that's outrageous. I could be killed. The house could be damaged. You could burn the pot roast!
Handyman Oh? What would you do?
Howard I'd blast.
Handyman Alrighty then.
He hands Howard a detonator and picks up a bundle of TNT sticks.
Handyman There. Now, you hold on to this …
Howard What are these? Oh, terrific. What is that?
Handyman Now, all I have to do is uh, set these charges and press the plunger.
Howard What?
Handyman Press the plunger.
Howard Alrighty.
Howard presses the detonator and the handyman explodes.
Carter Oh dear, sir. Now what?
Howard Well … heat up the Yankee pot roast, Carter. That explosion gave me a powerful appetite.
Carter You're incorrigible, sir.
Howard Oh, thank you.
Carter (picks up another TNT bundle) And to think, all that poor man said was, "press the plunger".
Howard What?
Carter "Press the plunger".
Howard Alrighty.
He presses it again — BOOM! Carter explodes.
Howard Well, I guess I'll have to get the pot roast myself.
He gruntingly gets up and tries to walk while still stuck in the chair.

Backstage

The cacti and lobsters are getting restless.
Lobster (BH) That's it! Back to the tank! I mean it!
Rizzo Look, everybody just calm down, alright?
Cactus (BB) Clifford told us that we'd be performing with Garth Brooks.
Others (murmuring in agreement)
Rizzo Aw, Clifford told you ugotz. Listen to me, I told the cheeses they might get on just because I have a special relationship with that particular food group!
Others (complaining)
Clifford Yo, yo, yo, Rizzo, Rizzo, Rizzo! What's going on here?
Rizzo Clifford, this is not good. These guys are gonna tear the place up if we don't get 'em on camera.
Clifford Stall 'em, man! I think I'm finally getting through to Garth.
Rizzo Alright.
Garth appears behind them, dressed as a geisha.
Garth Hey, Clifford, how you doin' ?
Clifford Hey, Garth.
Garth walks away. Clifford stiffens up.
Rizzo Oh yeah. You're getting through to him. Real good. (scoffs)
Clifford Don't go there, man. Just find something for these guys to do, okay? (leaves)
Rizzo Yeah, yeah, yeah …
Others (clamoring)
Rizzo Oh, if I wasn't a churchgoing rat … ! (poke) OW!

Pigs in Space: Deep Dish Nine

The opening sequence plays.
A. Ligator Once again, it's time for Pigs in Space: Deep Dish Nine, the next generation of PIGS… IN… SPACE!
Captain Pighead Captain's log: Tuesday, noonish, we continue our scale of ze meta quadrant of ze galaxy. Uh, did you get zat, captain's log?
Log Aye aye, Captain.
Captain Pighead Oui.
Craniac Captain, we have just scanned quadrant meta 4.8.
Miss Piggy No, Captain, we have just scanned meta 4.9!
Captain Pighead I have told you two a thousand times, do not mix your meta 4's!
An alarm sounds.
Craniac Captain, we are being pursued by a hostile enemy vessel!
Captain Pighead Uh — man your battle stations! Quickly!
They scurry around.
Captain Pighead Get out of my way, you fool!
They sit back down in their seats.
Captain Pighead Well, that was an astounding waste of time.
Craniac Captain, the aliens are coming aboard!
Miss Piggy Remember, these creatures are from another planet. Their appearance may shock you, and terrify you.
Craniac (aside to Captain) I doubt it. We've seen her without her makeup. (the two laugh)
Miss Piggy Very funny, face-for-brains.
The doors open, and the lobsters, cheeses and cacti wander in. Bill joins them.
Bill Ooh. Lovely colors.
Miss Piggy And who are you?
Bill Oh, I'm Bill. Bubbles come out of my head.
Miss Piggy So, you are the leader of the evil Pords!
Bill Oh, no, no, the rat back there just told us to come in here. (blows bubbles from his head)
Miss Piggy No — you are the leader of the evil Pords!
Bill Just a one-ie. Ah, well, whatever you say, lady, just don't hurt me, alright?
Craniac Captain? The bridge is filling with bubbles.
Captain Pighead Yes - uh, everyone to your anti-bubble stations!
They all slip and fall.
Craniac The soap has left a slick film on the floor!
Captain Pighead Magnifique! I love to watch slick films.
A fanfare of horns sounds.
Craniac Hmm. Anyone have any popcorn?
Miss Piggy We can't be going out on that cheap joke.
Switch to the closing title.
A. Ligator Join us again next week …
Miss Piggy I guess we are.
A. Ligator … for another ill-conceived episode of PIGS… IN… SPACE!

Backstage

The cast of the previous sketch passes by Clifford.
Clifford Rizzo, what were you thinking?
Rizzo Hey, you told me to put 'em in something.
Clifford You can't have a dumb ol' bubble head waltzing through the Milky Way. It'll look bad, real bad. (notices Bill) Oh — hey, Bill, my main man! Hey, those bubbles looked good on camera, real good.
Bill Thank you. (walks away)
Clifford I'll get you for this, Rizzo. I'm gonna try talking to Garth again.
Miss Piggy That's it! I've had it! An outer space adventure with bubbles?! They never would have done anything that unrealistic on Star Trek!
Leonard Nimoy Uh, excuse me, Miss Piggy, but that's where you're wrong. I believe it was episode 12, when the Enterprise was invaded by an evil race of super intelligent … bubbles.
Miss Piggy No wonder you were canceled. Humph! (walks away)


"If I Were a Rich Man"

Chickens flock around Garth, who wears a bathrobe.
Garth Okay, okay, hold on — wait a minute. So it wasn't the egg that came first?
The chickens say no.
Garth Oh, well, how about that?
Clifford Yo, yo, yo, Garth.
Garth Hey, Clifford.
Clifford Can I talk to you for a second?
Garth Sure, man. Ain't nobody here but us chickens!
The chickens laugh.
Garth They love that.
Clifford Cute. Uh, listen, uh — can I ask you something kinda personal?
Garth Oh, sure, man, you know you can.
Clifford Well, are you experiencing — are you having problems in your life? An emotional upheaval?
Rizzo Garth, Clifford would like to know if you have gone nuts.
Garth (laughs) — Oh, okay, I get it. Okay, listen, guys, how's this sound, alright — next number we do, just me, a fiddle, out in the country …
Rizzo Ooh.
Garth … with the chickens!
Rizzo Yes! Yes!
Clifford Alright! Alright! So that's it, man! That's what the people want.
Garth I'm gonna go get ready, alright?
Clifford That sounds good to me! Come on, Riz.
Rizzo Alright. Thank you. Yes, sir.
They all disperse. Transition to Floyd, a fiddler on a roof at dawn. Garth plays Tevye singing "If I Were a Rich Man". Clifford and the network head watch it in the control room.
Network head What the …? (points to Clifford) I thought … you said … he was going to do a country song!
Rizzo Yeah, but he didn't say what country.
Network head D'awww… (facepalms)
Garth continues the song with the chickens backing him up. Switch to the nursing home.
Statler What would you do if you were a rich man?
Waldorf I'd buy the network and cancel this show!
They chuckle. Meanwhile, as the song continues, the network head talks to Bill.
Network head I think you're gonna like this time slot a lot, Bill.
Bill Uh huh.
Network head We're gonna call your new show — oh, I dunno, maybe uh … oh, Dr. Bill, Medicine Bubble. We'll figure that out later.
Bill Oh man, what a day. You know, it didn't start out so good, but now everything is going gangbusters.
Nigel (mumbling)
Clifford Okay, that does it! I've had enough of this. I'm gonna give Garth Brooks a good old fashioned talking to!
Rizzo (giggles) Oh, I love it when he talks tough.

Backstage

Clifford and Rizzo stand at the dressing room door.
Clifford When Garth Brooks opens that door, I'm gonna tell him, "There are people all over this country, tuning in to see you do one of your hit songs, and I'm not gonna let you let them down." How's that sound?
Rizzo Yeah, sounds good.
Clifford Good, good, good.
Rizzo Sounds good, go for it.
Clifford knocks on the door. Garth answers.
Garth Yeah, man?
Clifford Yo, Garth, listen, I got —
Garth Hey! Clifford, buddy, I'm glad you're here. Look, man, I've been thinking, there's people all over this country, that's tuning in to see Garth Brooks sing one of his songs, and … I'm just not gonna let me let 'em down.
Rizzo Wha — wait a minute, is he putting us on?
Garth (laughs) Sure, man, I heard you through the door. But listen, seriously, what you said made a lot of sense to me, and I think you're right. It's time Garth Brooks marches out there, and does a Garth Brooks song.
Rizzo Wait, wait, no bloomers, no tight pants, no kimonos, no peyos?
Clifford Huh?
Rizzo In your own voice? In your own clothes? You?
Garth Yeah, yeah, come on, guys, this is Garth Brooks. If Garth Brooks says he's gonna do something, you consider it done.
Rizzo Wow!
Clifford Well alright! That's great! I'll go and introduce you.
Rizzo Yeah, right this way, Garth. (laughs)
Gonzo Garth Brooks! (whoosh!) Whoa! You're just the man I'm looking for! How would you like to participate in a once in a lifetime experience? The first ever inverted, sub-orbital rocket-powered anti-gravity bungee jump!
Garth Wow! You betcha!
Rizzo Oh, brother — wait!
Garth shoves his hat on Rizzo and leaves with Gonzo.
Garth Hold this, Rizzo — let's go!
Rizzo Garth! Garth! Garth, where are you — Garth! Don't do it! Don't do —

Gonzo and Garth's stunt

Clifford takes the stage. Applause.
Clifford Ha ha ha. What's up, what's up? Ladies and gentlemen, let's give a big Muppets Tonight welcome to, Mr. Garth Brooks!
Garth and Gonzo emerge wearing rocket packs.
Gonzo Hey! Thank you!
Clifford And Gonzo …
Gonzo Okay, Clifford, that's enough, thank you! (shoves him) Go along. Thank you. Good evening! Tonight, I, the Great Gonzo …
Garth And I, the Great Garth-zo …
Gonzo … will attempt a death-defying act!
Garth Yeah, we're gonna be rocketed skyward at mach-5, with just this thin, little bitty bungee cord to keep us from flying off into the stratosphere.
Gonzo Yeah, and at the A-pex of our ascent, we will be snapped back to Earth.
Garth Where our fall will be stopped by … wait a minute, tell me what our fall will be stopped by.
Gonzo Well, the floor. What else?
Garth We could be killed!
Gonzo Duh! That's why they call it death-defying!
Garth Yeah, I think I've got one of my own songs to sing. Hat, please!
He takes off the rocket pack. Rizzo gives him the hat.
Rizzo Yeah, right, right, yes.
Gonzo Well, suit yourself. Me, I got a date with destiny. One two three!
He blasts off through the ceiling. The techies witness it from the control room.
Nigel (panics) Somebody get maintenance to repair that hole in the roof, and get ready to cue Garth Brooks.
Network head This is great! (slaps Bill on the back) Garth Brooks is gonna sing one of his own songs! Hey, sorry this didn't work out, Bill.
Bill Oh, that's alright. Here, let me see if I can blow you a deuce. (blows bubbles) Well, it was a five.
Nigel Cue Garth.

"We Shall Be Free"

Rowlf plays the piano as Garth sings "We Shall Be Free".
Rowlf Oh yeah …
Garth Hit it, girls.
He is joined by a chorus of birds, and eventually by the other Muppets.
Clifford Let's give it up for Garth Brooks!
Applause.
Kermit Yaaaay!
Garth Thank you very very much! Thank you, Clifford! I had a great time.
Clifford Any regrets?
Garth No, man, I got no regrets whatsoever.
Gonzo crashes through the ceiling.
Garth Look out! — Oooh. Well, Gonzo might have some regrets though.
Gonzo gets up, flat as a pancake.
Gonzo Well, nope — no regrets!
They all laugh and continue singing.


Epilogue

After the show, Garth and Gonzo hang out. Garth puts the rocket pack back on as George sweeps.
Gonzo (laughing)
Garth Whoa. Gonzo, dude — this is an awesome piece of machinery.
Gonzo Yeah, it's just too bad you never got a chance to try it. It was fun.
Garth Well, you know, I guess I missed my chance, huh?
Gonzo Hey, it's never too late!
Gonzo turns on the rocket pack, sending Garth flying through the ceiling.
Gonzo Oh dear — he forgot his bungee cord. (looks up)
The credits roll.