|Music by||Barry Mann|
|Lyrics by||Cynthia Weil|
|Publisher||Nice Noise, Inc./Dyad Music Ltd. (BMI)|
The song is performed by Tim Curry and the Pirates, extolling the virtues of their chosen profession. After Polly Lobster, Clueless Morgan, and Mad Monty sing about the things they could have been instead (a surgeon, a lawyer, and a politician, respectively), Black Eyed Pea reveals that he "could have been a contender," referencing Marlon Brando's famous line from the film On the Waterfront.